(throwaway and limited detail as this is based on recent events in my family) If you're not the one grieving, as others have said, giving "helpful advice" isn'

(throwaway and limited detail as this is based on recent events in my family) If you're not the one grieving, as others have said, giving "helpful advice" isn't helpful and it won't get followed anyway. Grief isn't something you can fix. Listen. I have several good listeners around me, including my wife, and a counsellor through work, and I'm really glad of that. Most people seem to consider "go to a counsellor" unhelpful advice, and won't, but they really should! And switch if you don't like the first one you go to (I've been lucky and haven't had to switch). If you're the one grieving, everyone experiences it differently. If there is "someone to blame" the anger can eat away at people - restorative justice stuff can help. In our situation what happened was a geniune accident. Some family have accepted that (it was always my view) and some are just really angry. And I don't know what to do there. Different events multipled by different people means many different possible responses! I've been told that people do go through Elizabeth Kubler-Rosses stages of grief, but in a completely random order. Wierd stuff brings it back, you cry over things that make no sense at all. For me, gradually those feelings have lost their sharpness. I'm sad but not to the point of tears. If you're the one who is grieving, you can give "helpful advice" that provides a sense of perspective, to yourself. For example, my understanding that this was probably a genuine accident, even before the police confirmed that. You'll still cry, it'll still be hard, you're a person not a robot. I do wonder how modern western life make us less prepared for this sort of thing. The world for us westerns (pre COVID anyway) is so safe that outside expected deaths of people in their old age, experience of grief is uncommon. In e.g. Britain this change happened in the mid 18th century. Now, most people haven't experienced a younger person they know dying, so have no clue what it's like. And that brings on the unhelpfulness.