I obviously don't know your life or circumstances, but try to ensure it's not a self-fulfilling prophecy where you envision a tragic life for yourself and then

I obviously don't know your life or circumstances, but try to ensure it's not a self-fulfilling prophecy where you envision a tragic life for yourself and then steer yourself in that direction. > didn’t have any clue in how to make it work when young, and now I can’t stand people socially anymore 1. You're still very young. I'm a similar age, and I'm fairly certain when we're in our 50s and 60s we'll reminisce about our younger years in our 30s and 40s. 2. There's a lot of people in the world. It's a bit unfair to group everyone together and say you "can't stand people socially anymore". You likely only need a few close people in your life for it to feel rewarding, and I'm quite certain they're out there.