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I had a friend who was fired from, or quit, every job he had for nearly a decade. He response was always the same, "the boss is a moron" or "the people there ar

I had a friend who was fired from, or quit, every job he had for nearly a decade. He response was always the same, "the boss is a moron" or "the people there are idiots". We had a long conversation where I laid it out for him. The odds that after 10 years everyone he worked with was an idiot or a moron were pretty slim and the only thing every single one of the those people had in common was him. Fortunately he took me seriously and had a lot of growth in a short period of time. He's been at his last job for 15 years and moved to the head of his department and gets a bit of a laugh now when he hears that people working for him think he's a moron.

0des 5y ago
You're a good friend for respectfully helping someone detect counterproductive ideologies. Fortunately your friend is receptive to logic, I'm glad it is going better for them. Thanks for relaying this story, it made me feel good! Have a good weekend :)
azinman2 5y ago
I’d love to know how you achieved that. I’ve had friends like that and they don’t want to hear it, or refuse to acknowledge their own issues. Only after many many years and many issues has one admitted perhaps he’s not a good fit for corporate culture (still not fully acknowledging his role there).
- SteveGerencser 5y ago
  He and I have had a very close relationship for a very long time. That had a lot to do with him taking me seriously and me willing to spend the time needed to talk with him. While I call it a conversation, it was a lot of conversations over several months. And after many of them he wouldn't talk to me for a few weeks. It really was a process. Without the underlying relationship I suspect one or the other of us would have simply walked away from the other. But that is a hard thing to explain in a short HN post.
  - azinman2 5y ago
    Thank you for sharing
blip54321 5y ago
To be fair, for some people, it is the case that everyone they work with is a moron. For example, high IQ / low EQ can lead to a position where: - You won't get higher-end jobs due to low EQ - Lower-end jobs, you'll be surrounded by people who, relative to you, are morons There are lots of other situations like this, and it's tough. I've rarely found myself in this position, but part of that is luck. College pedigree and early resume slots make a big difference. I have friends who were less fortunate. It's worth noting that the high IQ / low EQ example above is relative -- this can be a FAANG-level tech person working for an average tech firm, a mediocre programmer working tech support, and all the way down. There's a very deep pit of crappy jobs, all the way down to a pretty good mathematician I knew who ended up driving a bus. "Low EQ" can also be a proxy for other things which would preclude a higher-end job, from being an immigrant with poor English skills (or otherwise facing discrimination), to complex distractions (e.g. having serious health problems, a litigation, or a family situation, or otherwise).
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]

0des 5y ago

You're a good friend for respectfully helping someone detect counterproductive ideologies. Fortunately your friend is receptive to logic, I'm glad it is going better for them. Thanks for relaying this story, it made me feel good! Have a good weekend :)

azinman2 5y ago

I’d love to know how you achieved that. I’ve had friends like that and they don’t want to hear it, or refuse to acknowledge their own issues. Only after many many years and many issues has one admitted perhaps he’s not a good fit for corporate culture (still not fully acknowledging his role there).

SteveGerencser 5y ago
He and I have had a very close relationship for a very long time. That had a lot to do with him taking me seriously and me willing to spend the time needed to talk with him. While I call it a conversation, it was a lot of conversations over several months. And after many of them he wouldn't talk to me for a few weeks. It really was a process. Without the underlying relationship I suspect one or the other of us would have simply walked away from the other. But that is a hard thing to explain in a short HN post.
- azinman2 5y ago
  Thank you for sharing

blip54321 5y ago

To be fair, for some people, it is the case that everyone they work with is a moron. For example, high IQ / low EQ can lead to a position where: - You won't get higher-end jobs due to low EQ - Lower-end jobs, you'll be surrounded by people who, relative to you, are morons There are lots of other situations like this, and it's tough. I've rarely found myself in this position, but part of that is luck. College pedigree and early resume slots make a big difference. I have friends who were less fortunate. It's worth noting that the high IQ / low EQ example above is relative -- this can be a FAANG-level tech person working for an average tech firm, a mediocre programmer working tech support, and all the way down. There's a very deep pit of crappy jobs, all the way down to a pretty good mathematician I knew who ended up driving a bus. "Low EQ" can also be a proxy for other things which would preclude a higher-end job, from being an immigrant with poor English skills (or otherwise facing discrimination), to complex distractions (e.g. having serious health problems, a litigation, or a family situation, or otherwise).

deleted 5y ago
[deleted]