Have PTSD. Lots of trauma sort, permanent injuries to me and family members. Details not relevant m. Most days I’m either focused on work. Listening to an aud

Have PTSD. Lots of trauma sort, permanent injuries to me and family members. Details not relevant m. Most days I’m either focused on work. Listening to an audiobook or playing a game. These help keep thoughts from going dark. It just has to occupy my attention sufficiently. Tetris used to work well, but at a certain point I can play well without paying attention. Unless it’s set super hard and that gets old fast. If it’s a grinding game then I will have audiobook or equivalent going at same time. Something like civilization 6 or hearthstone keep my mind busy enough that I don’t need anything else. When possible I’ll try and do something mentally challenging with the kids. I can usually stop racing thoughts these days. I keep Lorazepam on stand by if i start to lose it. But I try hard to avoid having idle time.