4 ms·

Why would you want him to put his drama online? Most people want to deal with their shit internally. I guess the wife could have put the picture of the burnin

Why would you want him to put his drama online? Most people want to deal with their shit internally. I guess the wife could have put the picture of the burning car or a snap of an affair sex tape, but then they'd both have more drama to deal with from people contacting them trying to "fix" things. Intimate moments are private, happy moments are okay for public. Bad moments can be used against you so you keep them private.

AlexandrB 5y ago
I think the the point of the anecdote is that what you see online in no way reflects people's actual struggles. If you try to compare your real self against someone's online persona you will never measure up. Unfortunately this fact is not made explicit anywhere - I can imagine the self-loathing Facebook or Instagram would have generated in my naive, socially-inept, teenage self.
- hunterb123 5y ago
  > Unfortunately this fact is not made explicit anywhere It's common sense that you don't put vulnerable stuff online. Parents should explain this to children when they are growing up. Sure I guess you could put disclaimers everywhere "LIFE MAY NOT BE AS HAPPY AS IT APPEARS" under each photo. Maybe California will require a banner for that soon.
  - ksdale 5y ago
    It's one thing to say that people might not be as happy as they appear, but quite another to say that someone's marriage basically doesn't exist, which is what the parent was saying.
    - hunterb123 5y ago
      It's noone's business if they don't want anyone to know. Here GP is gossiping about them, this is what they were trying to avoid amongst their peers. If anyone REALLY wants to know they can find out when the single photos come out. I thought HN understood privacy.
      - ksdale 5y ago
        The point isn't privacy, which is obviously a completely legitimate thing to desire. The point is that the image they present on social media is a complete fabrication. You were saying that everyone expects social media to be a little embellished and I'm saying that I don't believe this is embellishment, it is just outright fantasy, which people do not expect, from their friends at least. Once again, the thing we're discussing is social media making people think everyone else has a great life, and your response is basically that... people should be able lie on social media? Which is fine, and also proves the original point that social media is misleading people.
        hunterb123 5y ago
        You have no idea what the real situation is. A family is allowed to have a family photo with their kid even if they are going through shit. It's not unusual for two separated parents to hang out with their kid and act kind for their sake. This thread was ridiculous. Nothing but the GP gossiping about sensitive information and many of you trying to figure out whether it's fantasy or not. This is why people act happy, because vultures like you guys trying to sniff out drama. God forbid anyone post a happy photo, the nerve! It's simple. Know that only happy moments are posted. Don't nose into people's lives but know everyone goes through shit just like you.
  - dudeman13 5y ago
    >It's common sense that you don't put vulnerable stuff online Yes, but do people have a gut, visceral knowledge about this when they see stuff online? Knowing something intellectually doesn't mean one's internal bias (and their effects on the individual) will stop working.
    - hunterb123 5y ago
      Gut irrational reactions are usually followed by a rational realization when one "intellectually" knows something. The irrational reaction itself may be triggered by the event of seeing someone else's perceived happiness, but is probably a manifestation of a deeper self issue like an insecurity or unfulfilled fantasy.
      - dudeman13 5y ago
        >Gut irrational reactions are usually followed by a rational realization when one "intellectually" knows something. I heavily disagree with that one! Most gut reactions aren't followed at all by any rational realizations, and on the few occasions when they are followed by intellectual ruminations those ruminations will often try to rationalize their gut reaction instead of analytically criticizing them.
- PragmaticPulp 5y ago
  > I think the the point of the anecdote is that what you see online in no way reflects people's actual struggles. > Unfortunately this fact is not made explicit anywhere People don't wear their struggles on their sleeve in person, either. People are allowed to have fun even while struggling elsewhere in their lives. There's no rule that people aren't allowed to thrive or be happy in public if they're struggling with something private. I don't understand why anyone would think that social media would be any different.

AlexandrB 5y ago

I think the the point of the anecdote is that what you see online in no way reflects people's actual struggles. If you try to compare your real self against someone's online persona you will never measure up. Unfortunately this fact is not made explicit anywhere - I can imagine the self-loathing Facebook or Instagram would have generated in my naive, socially-inept, teenage self.

hunterb123 5y ago
> Unfortunately this fact is not made explicit anywhere It's common sense that you don't put vulnerable stuff online. Parents should explain this to children when they are growing up. Sure I guess you could put disclaimers everywhere "LIFE MAY NOT BE AS HAPPY AS IT APPEARS" under each photo. Maybe California will require a banner for that soon.
- ksdale 5y ago
  It's one thing to say that people might not be as happy as they appear, but quite another to say that someone's marriage basically doesn't exist, which is what the parent was saying.
  - hunterb123 5y ago
    It's noone's business if they don't want anyone to know. Here GP is gossiping about them, this is what they were trying to avoid amongst their peers. If anyone REALLY wants to know they can find out when the single photos come out. I thought HN understood privacy.
    - ksdale 5y ago
      The point isn't privacy, which is obviously a completely legitimate thing to desire. The point is that the image they present on social media is a complete fabrication. You were saying that everyone expects social media to be a little embellished and I'm saying that I don't believe this is embellishment, it is just outright fantasy, which people do not expect, from their friends at least. Once again, the thing we're discussing is social media making people think everyone else has a great life, and your response is basically that... people should be able lie on social media? Which is fine, and also proves the original point that social media is misleading people.
      - hunterb123 5y ago
        You have no idea what the real situation is. A family is allowed to have a family photo with their kid even if they are going through shit. It's not unusual for two separated parents to hang out with their kid and act kind for their sake. This thread was ridiculous. Nothing but the GP gossiping about sensitive information and many of you trying to figure out whether it's fantasy or not. This is why people act happy, because vultures like you guys trying to sniff out drama. God forbid anyone post a happy photo, the nerve! It's simple. Know that only happy moments are posted. Don't nose into people's lives but know everyone goes through shit just like you.
- dudeman13 5y ago
  >It's common sense that you don't put vulnerable stuff online Yes, but do people have a gut, visceral knowledge about this when they see stuff online? Knowing something intellectually doesn't mean one's internal bias (and their effects on the individual) will stop working.
  - hunterb123 5y ago
    Gut irrational reactions are usually followed by a rational realization when one "intellectually" knows something. The irrational reaction itself may be triggered by the event of seeing someone else's perceived happiness, but is probably a manifestation of a deeper self issue like an insecurity or unfulfilled fantasy.
    - dudeman13 5y ago
      >Gut irrational reactions are usually followed by a rational realization when one "intellectually" knows something. I heavily disagree with that one! Most gut reactions aren't followed at all by any rational realizations, and on the few occasions when they are followed by intellectual ruminations those ruminations will often try to rationalize their gut reaction instead of analytically criticizing them.
PragmaticPulp 5y ago
> I think the the point of the anecdote is that what you see online in no way reflects people's actual struggles. > Unfortunately this fact is not made explicit anywhere People don't wear their struggles on their sleeve in person, either. People are allowed to have fun even while struggling elsewhere in their lives. There's no rule that people aren't allowed to thrive or be happy in public if they're struggling with something private. I don't understand why anyone would think that social media would be any different.