6 ms·

Similar thought here. I don't know if it was the era or being relatively poor, but the big change in my life was giftgiving. You used to get a book or sweater

Similar thought here. I don't know if it was the era or being relatively poor, but the big change in my life was giftgiving. You used to get a book or sweater or doodad and be wowed and thankful. As an adult it seems everyone has Amazon and everything they want, so what's to do but trade boring gift cards we don't need. How exciting. I will say one thing I noticed and dislike about myself is how impatient and 'privileged' I've become. I mean, we used to order from Sears or Penney's catalogues as a kid and that stuff took weeks to arrive, and we were thrilled. Today it's all instant gratification. Amazon is a day late and we(I) act perturbed. I like to watch this Louis CK clip, it really puts me back in place...for a while. https://youtu.be/kBLkX2VaQs4 https://youtu.be/kBLkX2VaQs4

Swizec 5y ago
> As an adult it seems everyone has Amazon and everything they want, so what's to do but trade boring gift cards we don't need. How exciting. From one terrible gift-giver to another: Once you are no longer poor and the people around you also aren't poor and can afford the things they want, gift-giving becomes about knowing the person. What have they always wanted or needed, but wouldn't get for themselves? When you distill gifts to a monetary exchange they lose all value. Know the person, show you care, share that you thought about them, that you put effort into their gift. Then gifts become magical and amazing once more. Your mom appreciates a $600 weekend getaway with her son/daughter infinitely more than a $600 fancy bluetooth speaker. As Ted Lasso said in a recent episode – the effort is the gift.
- silisili 5y ago
  Good ideas. I think I like your 'experience' idea. I'm so fixated on things and everyone has 'things.' But experiences, like a spa treatment, massage, or getaway as you say, are things people are probably less likely to do for themselves. Especially if they involve yourself. Not telling you like I'm teaching you something, I'm literally writing my line of thoughts after reading what you wrote - so thanks.
- iso1210 5y ago
  > Your mom appreciates a $600 weekend getaway with her son/daughter infinitely more than a $600 fancy bluetooth speaker. Your mom appreciates a $600 weekend getaway with her son/daughter infinitely more than a $6000 fancy dohicky
technological 5y ago
That’s true . That’s why I always get stuff which is relatively cheap but gives me immense happiness, like buying stickers, old books , tattoos (water)
randallsquared 5y ago
Everyone is so relatively wealthy compared to even 20 years ago that it's hard to imagine what they lack that you could give them, but you view this massive increase in wealth as being itself the problem? ;)
- PaulDavisThe1st 5y ago
  s/Everyone is/A lot of people are/ would make this read as less entitled and more purely descriptivist.
- BurningFrog 5y ago
  Yor social circle may not include all walks of life :)
- bojangleslover 5y ago
  Absolutely right, in aggregate we have never been this prosperous. Inequality is a good thing because it shows people take risks. "poverty" is no longer about not meeting your basic needs, it's about seeing your neighbor drive a Tesla.
  - bryanrasmussen 5y ago
    unless you live in 'deep poverty' https://poverty.ucdavis.edu/faq/what-deep-poverty https://poverty.ucdavis.edu/faq/what-deep-poverty
bufordtwain 5y ago
My mom was born in 1939 in France. She told me that she used to get an orange as her Christmas gift (nothing else). She would save her orange for a few days, looking forward to eating it. On the other hand her one brother would eat all of his immediately. I have an orange for lunch every day at work, partly because I like them but also to remind myself of this story and of how relatively good most of us have it these days.
- mgkimsal 5y ago
  I had some stories from my grandfather (born in 1910) usually around Christmas time, where he'd ... I guess it was complaining - complain we were too spoiled as kids. "When I was your age, I got an orange for Christmas, and I was happy with it!". It really put a damper on things, and... I can't help it that I'm growing up 60+ years later in an era and world where we get oranges cheap at a grocery store. It's just 'normal' - not my fault if he didn't have that 60 years earlier. And yeah, we do have it great in many ways today (and... not so great in others).
  - alfiedotwtf 5y ago
    > It's just 'normal' - not my fault if he didn't have that 60 years earlier. I guess that's just societal progress, which is not only a good thing, but a great thing! I read a while ago but can't find the source - the average person these days eats better than the King of France did a few hundred years ago... I think about that a lot
  - codebolt 5y ago
    > not so great in others I'm curious what you think is worse in the West now than it was a century ago.
    - AQuantized 5y ago
      Community
      - 5y ago
Causality1 5y ago
You just have to put some effort into it. I keep an open mind to gifts all year long. Whenever I see something I think suits someone, I buy it and toss it in a big bin for the next birthday or Christmas. Sometimes things sit in the bin for eleven months but every person I give to is surprised by the gift and loves it.
michaelbuckbee 5y ago
A relatively low cost but personally impactful gift is giving custom artwork. There are a lot of artists on Etsy and Reddit who make a living off of doing commissioned work. You give them a reference picture or two, some details and you'll get amazing work back. My wife really likes Studio Ghibli movies and I got a poster done of our kids holding Totoro's hands. Friends looking like super heroes. Folks pets. Honestly really fun gifts to give.
donw 5y ago
Get people gifts that remind them of your relationship.
namrog84 5y ago
I recently got a hard to find graphics card(GeForce 3080) and at work and friends got mad at me for not immediately opening it up and putting it in my computer. I waited like 6+ months for it(to not pay scalper) and then when I had it. I waited another 1 or 2 weeks before installing it. I've developed a weird habit of not opening things I've ordered for many days or even weeks. Its not really intentional or I'm not fighting back any urges. It does feel a bit therapeutic and it helps keep perspective on importance or value of things. I'd definitely recommend people trying to disconnect the instant gratification for things that aren't immediately needed.

Swizec 5y ago

> As an adult it seems everyone has Amazon and everything they want, so what's to do but trade boring gift cards we don't need. How exciting. From one terrible gift-giver to another: Once you are no longer poor and the people around you also aren't poor and can afford the things they want, gift-giving becomes about knowing the person. What have they always wanted or needed, but wouldn't get for themselves? When you distill gifts to a monetary exchange they lose all value. Know the person, show you care, share that you thought about them, that you put effort into their gift. Then gifts become magical and amazing once more. Your mom appreciates a $600 weekend getaway with her son/daughter infinitely more than a $600 fancy bluetooth speaker. As Ted Lasso said in a recent episode – the effort is the gift.

silisili 5y ago
Good ideas. I think I like your 'experience' idea. I'm so fixated on things and everyone has 'things.' But experiences, like a spa treatment, massage, or getaway as you say, are things people are probably less likely to do for themselves. Especially if they involve yourself. Not telling you like I'm teaching you something, I'm literally writing my line of thoughts after reading what you wrote - so thanks.
iso1210 5y ago
> Your mom appreciates a $600 weekend getaway with her son/daughter infinitely more than a $600 fancy bluetooth speaker. Your mom appreciates a $600 weekend getaway with her son/daughter infinitely more than a $6000 fancy dohicky

technological 5y ago

That’s true . That’s why I always get stuff which is relatively cheap but gives me immense happiness, like buying stickers, old books , tattoos (water)

randallsquared 5y ago

Everyone is so relatively wealthy compared to even 20 years ago that it's hard to imagine what they lack that you could give them, but you view this massive increase in wealth as being itself the problem? ;)

PaulDavisThe1st 5y ago
s/Everyone is/A lot of people are/ would make this read as less entitled and more purely descriptivist.
BurningFrog 5y ago
Yor social circle may not include all walks of life :)
bojangleslover 5y ago
Absolutely right, in aggregate we have never been this prosperous. Inequality is a good thing because it shows people take risks. "poverty" is no longer about not meeting your basic needs, it's about seeing your neighbor drive a Tesla.
- bryanrasmussen 5y ago
  unless you live in 'deep poverty' https://poverty.ucdavis.edu/faq/what-deep-poverty https://poverty.ucdavis.edu/faq/what-deep-poverty

bufordtwain 5y ago

My mom was born in 1939 in France. She told me that she used to get an orange as her Christmas gift (nothing else). She would save her orange for a few days, looking forward to eating it. On the other hand her one brother would eat all of his immediately. I have an orange for lunch every day at work, partly because I like them but also to remind myself of this story and of how relatively good most of us have it these days.

mgkimsal 5y ago
I had some stories from my grandfather (born in 1910) usually around Christmas time, where he'd ... I guess it was complaining - complain we were too spoiled as kids. "When I was your age, I got an orange for Christmas, and I was happy with it!". It really put a damper on things, and... I can't help it that I'm growing up 60+ years later in an era and world where we get oranges cheap at a grocery store. It's just 'normal' - not my fault if he didn't have that 60 years earlier. And yeah, we do have it great in many ways today (and... not so great in others).
- alfiedotwtf 5y ago
  > It's just 'normal' - not my fault if he didn't have that 60 years earlier. I guess that's just societal progress, which is not only a good thing, but a great thing! I read a while ago but can't find the source - the average person these days eats better than the King of France did a few hundred years ago... I think about that a lot
- codebolt 5y ago
  > not so great in others I'm curious what you think is worse in the West now than it was a century ago.
  - AQuantized 5y ago
    Community
    - 5y ago

Causality1 5y ago

You just have to put some effort into it. I keep an open mind to gifts all year long. Whenever I see something I think suits someone, I buy it and toss it in a big bin for the next birthday or Christmas. Sometimes things sit in the bin for eleven months but every person I give to is surprised by the gift and loves it.

michaelbuckbee 5y ago

A relatively low cost but personally impactful gift is giving custom artwork. There are a lot of artists on Etsy and Reddit who make a living off of doing commissioned work. You give them a reference picture or two, some details and you'll get amazing work back. My wife really likes Studio Ghibli movies and I got a poster done of our kids holding Totoro's hands. Friends looking like super heroes. Folks pets. Honestly really fun gifts to give.

donw 5y ago

Get people gifts that remind them of your relationship.

namrog84 5y ago

I recently got a hard to find graphics card(GeForce 3080) and at work and friends got mad at me for not immediately opening it up and putting it in my computer. I waited like 6+ months for it(to not pay scalper) and then when I had it. I waited another 1 or 2 weeks before installing it. I've developed a weird habit of not opening things I've ordered for many days or even weeks. Its not really intentional or I'm not fighting back any urges. It does feel a bit therapeutic and it helps keep perspective on importance or value of things. I'd definitely recommend people trying to disconnect the instant gratification for things that aren't immediately needed.