5 ms·

>>>People change, and grow tired of one another, and that's okay and good and healthy. 1. Unless there are kids involved, in which case the fallout extends bey

>>>People change, and grow tired of one another, and that's okay and good and healthy. 1. Unless there are kids involved, in which case the fallout extends beyond the relationship and has wider second-and-third-order effects on society. Aren't something like 40% of children in single-parent households in the US? And aren't there significant statistics showing that especially fatherless sons are over-represented in juvenile crime, etc...? Those situations might arise less if the population didn't have such a blasé attitude to starting and ending romantic entanglements. 2. Studies have shown that increasing numbers of sex partners has a permanent deleterious effect on a person's ability to pair-bond, with more serious psychological impacts on women than men. (sorry, don't have a citation handy) So it is not a purely "good and healthy" situation for people to be regularly growing tired of their partners. I'm 38, essentially polygynous, with my primary female one I selected almost 10 years ago for character traits that I assessed as optimal for raising children and managing a household. So far, so good on both fronts. We have some SLIGHT overlap in our movie tastes such that we can usually find something mutually satisfying (mostly lighthearted action movies with a touch of romance). If I want to watch something extra graphic (13 Assassins, original Robocop, etc...) I'll either watch it alone or call one of the side-chicks that is comfortable with that stuff.

true_religion 5y ago
For anyone who is trying to recreate the OPs experience in a more normative setting (e.g. monogamy and no side chicks)… try using your in laws. Your brother and sister in law are in many ways better than true friends (they’re always available and are technically part of your family so there’s no jealousy). Of course if you have siblings of your own this works too.
chakkepolja 5y ago
> primary female one I selected almost 10 years ago for character traits that I assessed as optimal for raising children and managing a household. I don't know why I am laughing at this phrasing. Btw, since we are on hacker news, what's the probability of a randomly choosen guy from a normal urban population sample being able to have side chicks and one fulfilling primary relationship?
- dls2016 5y ago
  > I don't know why I am laughing at this phrasing. Because it sounds like a robot giving relationship advice?
- CapricornNoble 5y ago
  >>>Btw, since we are on hacker news, what's the probability of a randomly choosen guy from a normal urban population sample being able to have side chicks and one fulfilling primary relationship? Probably less than 10%. I recognize that my peer group is not a representative slice of a normal distribution.
  - chakkepolja 5y ago
    10% is still pretty large. I think its somewhere around 1% to 4% of the genetically blessed. Also depends on how traditional your 'primary female one' is.

true_religion 5y ago

For anyone who is trying to recreate the OPs experience in a more normative setting (e.g. monogamy and no side chicks)… try using your in laws. Your brother and sister in law are in many ways better than true friends (they’re always available and are technically part of your family so there’s no jealousy). Of course if you have siblings of your own this works too.

chakkepolja 5y ago

> primary female one I selected almost 10 years ago for character traits that I assessed as optimal for raising children and managing a household. I don't know why I am laughing at this phrasing. Btw, since we are on hacker news, what's the probability of a randomly choosen guy from a normal urban population sample being able to have side chicks and one fulfilling primary relationship?

dls2016 5y ago
> I don't know why I am laughing at this phrasing. Because it sounds like a robot giving relationship advice?
CapricornNoble 5y ago
>>>Btw, since we are on hacker news, what's the probability of a randomly choosen guy from a normal urban population sample being able to have side chicks and one fulfilling primary relationship? Probably less than 10%. I recognize that my peer group is not a representative slice of a normal distribution.
- chakkepolja 5y ago
  10% is still pretty large. I think its somewhere around 1% to 4% of the genetically blessed. Also depends on how traditional your 'primary female one' is.