>> For example, you want to watch a movie together, but neither of you have the same tastes in movies. What do you do? >> Because both of you are self-giving,

>> For example, you want to watch a movie together, but neither of you have the same tastes in movies. What do you do? >> Because both of you are self-giving, you both say that the other can pick, you're thus in a deadlock. > That is the mistake: thinking of watching a movie as a personal act. Another mistake might be conceiving of one's "taste in movies" as fixed and unchanging when it isn't. You might be able to find something to like in your partner's preferences, when you didn't before; or find some new type of movie you both like. Making that effort may be what being "self-giving" is in this case.