> a self-giving endeavor This seems like a step 2 to me. I think when people try to be giving as a step 1, before their own needs are met, they can end up mise

> a self-giving endeavor This seems like a step 2 to me. I think when people try to be giving as a step 1, before their own needs are met, they can end up miserable and resentful. But when your needs are met, giving is natural and joyful. The NVC assumption is that when two people can identify each other's needs and connect with them, they find that their needs aren't actually in conflict. Compromise isn't necessary. That's the idea in theory at least.