Hi, I'm Satoshi. I lost my private keys to all wallets associated with that pseudonym so I cannot sign a message to prove it, but I swear on my (newly created)

Hi, I'm Satoshi. I lost my private keys to all wallets associated with that pseudonym so I cannot sign a message to prove it, but I swear on my (newly created) account that it is me. There's your hello. Do you now understand why people downvoted your comment?