There’s a lot of self-deprication in your post. “Sorry if I wasted your time” and “Maybe they decided I might never improve”. You are worthy and this random i

There’s a lot of self-deprication in your post. “Sorry if I wasted your time” and “Maybe they decided I might never improve”. You are worthy and this random internet stranger cares. Imagine for a moment you have the opportunity to ask anyone you imagine to be on HN what they could give you. What would you ask for?