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They aren't friends but to say they "don't like eachother" seems a bit extreme. They both have mutual respect for each other from what I've seen and values the

by iaw 5y ago

They aren't friends but to say they "don't like eachother" seems a bit extreme. They both have mutual respect for each other from what I've seen and values the others contributions. They're colleagues in my book.

blamazon 5y ago
One of my friends played college football in the USA and then went to play in the NFL for an elite team. I spent a lot of time “behind the scenes” with him in both cohorts—-at first I was surprised by how cool and impersonal the NFL cohort was. As soon as the game/practice was over, the players would snap into a completely different kind of person, and go back to their own private lives, which was very unlike the college environment where the players spent almost all their waking hours together always during the season. It took me a while to realize that the NFL players were just doing what most people do when they ‘grow up’ and become professionals—they were colleagues, not necessarily friends. I know that there’s good reasons why this happens, but I can’t help but feel that there’s a bit of tragedy in it. We gain personal freedoms as we mature into these types of professional relationships, but lose that unique experience of ultimate comrade-ery, and descend into a ruthless world of competition, even with others on your own team.
- enobrev 5y ago
  I really appreciate this story, but I'm not sure I agree with seeing this tragically. A working relationship is just something different. There is still emotion, because we're human. But more than anything, there's mutual trust and respect. I have very deep and emotional connections with my family and with my friends, who I trust deeply and call on (and am called upon by) daily. But I wouldn't necessarily trust them with a technical project or start a small business with them or something in that realm. Meanwhile the small startup I work with just released an app yesterday, one with lots of difficult problems that we worked through together to resolve over the past two years. I have such a thorough trust and respect for every member of that team - technical and not. I wouldn't call any of them for a personal issue. I have friends who fall into both categories, but they are few and far between. There's nothing wrong with these relationships, and there's nothing more or less valuable to them. They just work differently and for different reasons. I don't need to be my colleague's best person at their wedding or pall bearer at their sibling's funeral for us to have a long and solid relationship building amazing things. I don't need to start a business with my wife or teach my kid how to program for us to have full lives together. It's not all competition and ruthlessness.

by iaw 5y ago

blamazon 5y ago

One of my friends played college football in the USA and then went to play in the NFL for an elite team. I spent a lot of time “behind the scenes” with him in both cohorts—-at first I was surprised by how cool and impersonal the NFL cohort was. As soon as the game/practice was over, the players would snap into a completely different kind of person, and go back to their own private lives, which was very unlike the college environment where the players spent almost all their waking hours together always during the season. It took me a while to realize that the NFL players were just doing what most people do when they ‘grow up’ and become professionals—they were colleagues, not necessarily friends. I know that there’s good reasons why this happens, but I can’t help but feel that there’s a bit of tragedy in it. We gain personal freedoms as we mature into these types of professional relationships, but lose that unique experience of ultimate comrade-ery, and descend into a ruthless world of competition, even with others on your own team.

enobrev 5y ago
I really appreciate this story, but I'm not sure I agree with seeing this tragically. A working relationship is just something different. There is still emotion, because we're human. But more than anything, there's mutual trust and respect. I have very deep and emotional connections with my family and with my friends, who I trust deeply and call on (and am called upon by) daily. But I wouldn't necessarily trust them with a technical project or start a small business with them or something in that realm. Meanwhile the small startup I work with just released an app yesterday, one with lots of difficult problems that we worked through together to resolve over the past two years. I have such a thorough trust and respect for every member of that team - technical and not. I wouldn't call any of them for a personal issue. I have friends who fall into both categories, but they are few and far between. There's nothing wrong with these relationships, and there's nothing more or less valuable to them. They just work differently and for different reasons. I don't need to be my colleague's best person at their wedding or pall bearer at their sibling's funeral for us to have a long and solid relationship building amazing things. I don't need to start a business with my wife or teach my kid how to program for us to have full lives together. It's not all competition and ruthlessness.