Well, I did try, half-arsedly as always. Joined a few Discord groups, no one talks (had fun a few times when people were in voice chat tbf), servers just die.

Well, I did try, half-arsedly as always. Joined a few Discord groups, no one talks (had fun a few times when people were in voice chat tbf), servers just die. Volunteered for community cleaning, fixing computers and bikes. The former was really nice, but no friends. The latter, they did their best to make it clear I wasn't wanted there. I mean, I wish they'd just say it to my face "look, we don't like you". Every time I went drinking with coworkers, same thing. This reminds me a lot of my early years, where I would break my back (once literally) to help people, give them money, anything. They're friends, right? Turned out I'm no friend to them. Now, the thing is, unlike online, I'm not an asshole offline. I am very quiet and really reserved. You'll never get a disagreement or any emotional opinion for that matter out of me and you certainly won't hear my real thoughts on anything. But I do want to and enjoy helping people, and I wish others were the same. I guess that's a big problem to other people. There's no place for me here, damn. Just wish I wasn't such a coward and just went through with it.