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This reminds me of something that happened when I was just a bit younger... My girlfriend and I were graduating from pharmacy school and she was applying for re

This reminds me of something that happened when I was just a bit younger... My girlfriend and I were graduating from pharmacy school and she was applying for residency positions (yes, they have those for pharmacists). Well, she found out she got the one she really wanted and so that night we went out to a nice dinner to celebrate. We did it up like you would expect a happy couple to - nice bottle of wine, share an appetizer and dessert, etc. We were still living on loans at the time and so in my head I was keeping track of about how much the meal was going to run me at the end of the night (for better or worse - keep in mind we were in college at the time). We had easily cleared a hundred bucks (quite the meal for college students who usually eat $7 sandwiches or more likely cook for themselves!), and when it was time for the bill, our waitress told us "The couple that was sitting over there paid for it." ! You wanna talk about made our day? Try made our week. We had seen the older couple earlier, but we didn't know them, and they were gone by the time we got our bill. We couldn't even thank them, and we were just so... shocked. Since then, whenever we go out for a nice meal, I look for a young couple who looks happy and in love, just waiting to return that favor. C.S. Lewis described altruism in one of his apologist books as a "good infection" - kindness that spreads uncontrollably. I can't do anything but agree.

jonathanstark 15y ago
Jonathan here: Thank you so much for sharing your story – it really made my day. "Kindness that spreads uncontrollably" perfectly sums up my highest hopes for this experiment. Best, j
- manojlds 15y ago
  Difference being there could be a time when I couldn't afford a hundred dollar dinner and then time when I can afford it. But a cup of coffee, not really sure if there will be times when I can afford and not afford it.
  - bgurupra 15y ago
    actually I can see how this will get down voted - but if a person has a smart phone what are the chances he can't really pay for this coffee? (not a rhetorical question but a purely probabilistic one) - so maybe this experiment may not test the true altruistic nature of people but more the curiosity of participating in an experiment like this?
    - startupfounder 15y ago
      Maybe it is a thought experiment, but what we see from Brian's story is that this thought process can be taken outside of the tech/HN/twitter bubble we all live in. It might kind of be enlightening to try this out in the real world (buy a coffee with cash for a stranger) then come back and share your experience.
    - Shenglong 15y ago
      I think it's more - sometimes you want to, sometimes you don't want to pay for a cup of coffee. Though, I don't think the experiment is to see if people are willing to give coffee to those who can't pay for it. It's an experiment on social contribution, if I'm correct. Even though you can leech (and some will), a good amount of people might ultimately add more money than they spend from it. But why? Everyone is anonymous (kind of), and it's not like you have external pressure to be good. If the amount on the card stays positive, you may have renewed my faith in at least a portion of mankind, Jonathan Stark.
rakkhi 15y ago
Great story. Will do the same going forward.
js2 15y ago
There are so many little things you can do that can make someone else's day. Here's another one: cook a meal for any new parents you may happen to know. Nothing fancy, just something you can drop off that they can easily reheat and maybe lasts a couple days.
mikeleeorg 15y ago
I once crossed the Bay Bridge from Oakland to San Francisco and when I hit the pay toll, the attendent told me the driver in front had paid for me. This has happened more than once. So every once in a while, I'll do the same for a driver behind me - especially if they were generous enough to have let me merge into their lane (but usually, just as a random kind gesture). Good infections rock.
YetAnotherAlias 15y ago
I have heard similar restaurant stories happen to some of my friends. Jonathan's card is also a good idea. However, I can't help wondering that with all this technology we are ending up in a situation where the Haves help the Haves and they all feel better for a little while. What can we do to make it easy to help the really needy? Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could just as easily drop $10 to help someone eat a few meals a day? I am aware of all the real world problems and constraints, but I hope these examples inspire some of HN community to build stuff that will help those that really need it.
- laurenkuhlman 15y ago
  Text MEALS to 90999 to give $5 to the Chicago Food Depository. I do it quite frequently when some joyous happenstance comes my way or when I spend a bit too much on myself.
  - deleted 15y ago
    [deleted]
  - YetAnotherAlias 15y ago
    Good tip.
- hugh3 15y ago
  The good thing about random altruism, i.e. giving stuff to people regardless of whether they need it or not, is that it doesn't encourage welfare dependency. When you give free stuff to "those in need", you have to be extremely careful not to just wind up changing the balance of incentives in a way that just encourages them to stay "in need". Otherwise you're harming them, not helping them.
  - Psyonic 15y ago
    I feel like random altruism makes us feel good while probably doing very little actual good. As the OP said, it's haves giving to haves.
iqster 15y ago
Good karma! Back in the days of pay phones, I had a friend who'd put quarters in the return slot. While it is a very small gesture, it moved me. Felt like sharing this.

jonathanstark 15y ago

Jonathan here: Thank you so much for sharing your story – it really made my day. "Kindness that spreads uncontrollably" perfectly sums up my highest hopes for this experiment. Best, j

manojlds 15y ago
Difference being there could be a time when I couldn't afford a hundred dollar dinner and then time when I can afford it. But a cup of coffee, not really sure if there will be times when I can afford and not afford it.
- bgurupra 15y ago
  actually I can see how this will get down voted - but if a person has a smart phone what are the chances he can't really pay for this coffee? (not a rhetorical question but a purely probabilistic one) - so maybe this experiment may not test the true altruistic nature of people but more the curiosity of participating in an experiment like this?
  - startupfounder 15y ago
    Maybe it is a thought experiment, but what we see from Brian's story is that this thought process can be taken outside of the tech/HN/twitter bubble we all live in. It might kind of be enlightening to try this out in the real world (buy a coffee with cash for a stranger) then come back and share your experience.
  - Shenglong 15y ago
    I think it's more - sometimes you want to, sometimes you don't want to pay for a cup of coffee. Though, I don't think the experiment is to see if people are willing to give coffee to those who can't pay for it. It's an experiment on social contribution, if I'm correct. Even though you can leech (and some will), a good amount of people might ultimately add more money than they spend from it. But why? Everyone is anonymous (kind of), and it's not like you have external pressure to be good. If the amount on the card stays positive, you may have renewed my faith in at least a portion of mankind, Jonathan Stark.

rakkhi 15y ago

Great story. Will do the same going forward.

js2 15y ago

There are so many little things you can do that can make someone else's day. Here's another one: cook a meal for any new parents you may happen to know. Nothing fancy, just something you can drop off that they can easily reheat and maybe lasts a couple days.

mikeleeorg 15y ago

I once crossed the Bay Bridge from Oakland to San Francisco and when I hit the pay toll, the attendent told me the driver in front had paid for me. This has happened more than once. So every once in a while, I'll do the same for a driver behind me - especially if they were generous enough to have let me merge into their lane (but usually, just as a random kind gesture). Good infections rock.

YetAnotherAlias 15y ago

I have heard similar restaurant stories happen to some of my friends. Jonathan's card is also a good idea. However, I can't help wondering that with all this technology we are ending up in a situation where the Haves help the Haves and they all feel better for a little while. What can we do to make it easy to help the really needy? Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could just as easily drop $10 to help someone eat a few meals a day? I am aware of all the real world problems and constraints, but I hope these examples inspire some of HN community to build stuff that will help those that really need it.

laurenkuhlman 15y ago
Text MEALS to 90999 to give $5 to the Chicago Food Depository. I do it quite frequently when some joyous happenstance comes my way or when I spend a bit too much on myself.
- deleted 15y ago
  [deleted]
- YetAnotherAlias 15y ago
  Good tip.
hugh3 15y ago
The good thing about random altruism, i.e. giving stuff to people regardless of whether they need it or not, is that it doesn't encourage welfare dependency. When you give free stuff to "those in need", you have to be extremely careful not to just wind up changing the balance of incentives in a way that just encourages them to stay "in need". Otherwise you're harming them, not helping them.
- Psyonic 15y ago
  I feel like random altruism makes us feel good while probably doing very little actual good. As the OP said, it's haves giving to haves.

iqster 15y ago

Good karma! Back in the days of pay phones, I had a friend who'd put quarters in the return slot. While it is a very small gesture, it moved me. Felt like sharing this.