You are an exception I'm sorry to say. I've used two ThinkPads with Linux over the past few years with no issues, and am now on a Dell XPS with again, no issues

You are an exception I'm sorry to say. I've used two ThinkPads with Linux over the past few years with no issues, and am now on a Dell XPS with again, no issues. Try running Kubuntu off of a live USB (you can do this with any Linux distro, you don't need to install it just to test it). I'd honestly baffled if it didn't run perfectly as long as you agree to install the drivers when prompted to.