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I’ve spent many years explicitly teaching my son not to try to bury his anger. Anger is a biological imperative. As humans — as mammals — we don’t have the opt
by sonofhans 5y ago
I’ve spent many years explicitly teaching my son not to try to bury his anger. Anger is a biological imperative. As humans — as mammals — we don’t have the option not to feel it. Like any other emotion, it has to go somewhere. It is either felt and expressed, or felt and repressed.
They key is to feel it but not attach to it, and not use it to hurt yourself or others. Feel it, express it if you need to in non-hurtful ways, then let it go. This isn’t my idea, and it’s not a new idea -— it’s central to Buddhism, for example.
So I reread this and worry — where are those kids putting their anger? Because for sure they’re not escaping it entirely.
- smorgusofborg 5y agoOTOH I think there was a Penn and Teller's Bullshit about anger therapy that claimed therapies designed to harmlessly let out anger actually raised anger levels. Anger and frustration clearly have social phenomenons where they build without any additional rational information.
- lawkwok 5y agoMaybe by feeling more empathy they don’t feel anger as intensely to begin with? Also, by seeing parents not freak out over a spill the children likewise stay calm.