3 ms·

I agree that cancelling someone over an accidental transgression is a vengeful overreaction. Separately, let me ask you this: If I step on your foot, does it hu

by _moof 5y ago

I agree that cancelling someone over an accidental transgression is a vengeful overreaction. Separately, let me ask you this: If I step on your foot, does it hurt less if I didn't mean to?

type0 5y ago
that depends if you are wearing high heels or not
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
indigochill 5y ago
If you say you meant to, I will exclude you from my dancing events to protect the other dancers' feet. If you say you didn't mean to, you know, my foot still hurts but you're still welcome to my dancing events because it probably won't happen again. My foot hurting actually has no bearing on whether or not you're welcome. Conversely, if you say it's an accident but somehow you have a conspicuously high foot-stomping incidence among many dance partners, I probably will exclude you because I will stop believing the foot-stomping is accidental (or you're just very unfortunately clumsy, terribly sorry, but I still have to protect the other dancers' feet).
- _moof 5y ago
  > My foot hurting actually has no bearing on whether or not you're welcome. Of course - that was my point about cancelling being an overreaction to accidental transgressions. I think the thing that gets missed is that an accidental transgression still causes harm, and harm warrants the making of amends. "You break it, you buy it" applies whether or not you meant to knock that lamp over. If I step on your foot I apologize. Etc.
  - indigochill 5y ago
    > and harm warrants the making of amends Generally, yes, of course. Though once we leave the realm of hypothetical foot-stomping for politics, things can get more complicated. For example, we might look at the John Cena incident where he "acknowledged Taiwan as a country", which somehow led to him later making an apology video (in Chinese?) for this "offense" against mainland China. So sometimes accusations of "harm" are merely manipulation. It can take discernment to judge when amends are actually warranted.

by _moof 5y ago

I agree that cancelling someone over an accidental transgression is a vengeful overreaction. Separately, let me ask you this: If I step on your foot, does it hurt less if I didn't mean to?

type0 5y ago

that depends if you are wearing high heels or not

deleted 5y ago

[deleted]

indigochill 5y ago

If you say you meant to, I will exclude you from my dancing events to protect the other dancers' feet. If you say you didn't mean to, you know, my foot still hurts but you're still welcome to my dancing events because it probably won't happen again. My foot hurting actually has no bearing on whether or not you're welcome. Conversely, if you say it's an accident but somehow you have a conspicuously high foot-stomping incidence among many dance partners, I probably will exclude you because I will stop believing the foot-stomping is accidental (or you're just very unfortunately clumsy, terribly sorry, but I still have to protect the other dancers' feet).

_moof 5y ago
> My foot hurting actually has no bearing on whether or not you're welcome. Of course - that was my point about cancelling being an overreaction to accidental transgressions. I think the thing that gets missed is that an accidental transgression still causes harm, and harm warrants the making of amends. "You break it, you buy it" applies whether or not you meant to knock that lamp over. If I step on your foot I apologize. Etc.
- indigochill 5y ago
  > and harm warrants the making of amends Generally, yes, of course. Though once we leave the realm of hypothetical foot-stomping for politics, things can get more complicated. For example, we might look at the John Cena incident where he "acknowledged Taiwan as a country", which somehow led to him later making an apology video (in Chinese?) for this "offense" against mainland China. So sometimes accusations of "harm" are merely manipulation. It can take discernment to judge when amends are actually warranted.