3 ms·

I'd be interested in what you describe as detrimental experiences and why they potentially weren't net positive in ways that you might not immediately recognize

qsort 5y ago
Anything can 'potentially be net positive in ways you might not immediately recognize'. There is literally no event that description does not apply to. In many cases the 'negative experiences' are daily abuse. I myself had a horrible and painful time in high school, but listening to people of various backgrounds I concluded it's pretty much hit or miss. I can't generalize from my negative experience, but you can't generalize from your positive one either.
tonyarkles 5y ago
Getting slammed into lockers, having people steal your notebooks, having half your friends spontaneously turn on you... I'm reading into your comment a little bit and projecting my own thoughts of "these things might have been character-building." That might be true, but for some they could also end up causing PTSD/similar things, difficultly trusting people, severe low-self-confidence, etc.
hackinthebochs 5y ago
Specifically the forced proximity with people who may bully you, or encourage damaging or anti-social behavior, as well as the environment where social status, and the avenues available to gain it as a high school student, is the end-all of your existence. How many bad habits are learned in high school, from catty behavior, to acting out for attention, to being physically dominant, to spending money on flashy gear, to gain status? How many environments outside of high school do these behaviors result in meaningful, lasting status gains? Not many, at least none that can be considered healthy environments. If the goal of high school is to prepare kids for adulthood, they don't do a good job of it. Granted, not every school is like this and not everyone has these experiences. But putting teens in a social pressure-cooker among their age cohort will result in some very unnatural local optimums for behavior.
- Avicebron 5y ago
  While I am not and won't dismiss your personal experiences with high school, but I think there is value in that pressure cooker environment, even if unpleasant. College and the workforce/academia is rife with similar bad habits that I can see myself not being prepared for if I hadn't had a dose of the petty viciousness (albeit with somewhat less consequence in the long term). It's one thing to be emotionally abused by some catty behavior in a setting that is less likely to screw your life over or at least gives you a chance of redemption post hs. Than to find out that even worse cattiness exists within your PhD program and now you're royally screwed over with it becoming harder and harder to get a fresh start.
- dleslie 5y ago
  > Specifically the forced proximity with people who may bully you, or encourage damaging or anti-social behavior, as well as the environment where social status, and the avenues available to gain it as a high school student, is the end-all of your existence. ... How is that different than an office?

qsort 5y ago

Anything can 'potentially be net positive in ways you might not immediately recognize'. There is literally no event that description does not apply to. In many cases the 'negative experiences' are daily abuse. I myself had a horrible and painful time in high school, but listening to people of various backgrounds I concluded it's pretty much hit or miss. I can't generalize from my negative experience, but you can't generalize from your positive one either.

tonyarkles 5y ago

Getting slammed into lockers, having people steal your notebooks, having half your friends spontaneously turn on you... I'm reading into your comment a little bit and projecting my own thoughts of "these things might have been character-building." That might be true, but for some they could also end up causing PTSD/similar things, difficultly trusting people, severe low-self-confidence, etc.

hackinthebochs 5y ago

Specifically the forced proximity with people who may bully you, or encourage damaging or anti-social behavior, as well as the environment where social status, and the avenues available to gain it as a high school student, is the end-all of your existence. How many bad habits are learned in high school, from catty behavior, to acting out for attention, to being physically dominant, to spending money on flashy gear, to gain status? How many environments outside of high school do these behaviors result in meaningful, lasting status gains? Not many, at least none that can be considered healthy environments. If the goal of high school is to prepare kids for adulthood, they don't do a good job of it. Granted, not every school is like this and not everyone has these experiences. But putting teens in a social pressure-cooker among their age cohort will result in some very unnatural local optimums for behavior.

Avicebron 5y ago
While I am not and won't dismiss your personal experiences with high school, but I think there is value in that pressure cooker environment, even if unpleasant. College and the workforce/academia is rife with similar bad habits that I can see myself not being prepared for if I hadn't had a dose of the petty viciousness (albeit with somewhat less consequence in the long term). It's one thing to be emotionally abused by some catty behavior in a setting that is less likely to screw your life over or at least gives you a chance of redemption post hs. Than to find out that even worse cattiness exists within your PhD program and now you're royally screwed over with it becoming harder and harder to get a fresh start.
dleslie 5y ago
> Specifically the forced proximity with people who may bully you, or encourage damaging or anti-social behavior, as well as the environment where social status, and the avenues available to gain it as a high school student, is the end-all of your existence. ... How is that different than an office?