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We had an AC tech ask us if we knew someone was living on our roof. Turns out an coworker's GF kicked him out of his house* and he was living up there. Tent

We had an AC tech ask us if we knew someone was living on our roof. Turns out an coworker's GF kicked him out of his house* and he was living up there. Tent, free wifi, showers next to the bike room, full kitchen and big 80 inch TVs down in the conference rooms. He was livin' the life. He said he usually took down the tent and hid everything every morning but just got complacent. *Yes. His house. She told the cops she felt in danger. Cops told him he had to stay somewhere else and go through the eviction process. Mad world.

WarOnPrivacy 5y ago
> Yes. His house. She told the cops she felt in danger. Cops told him he had to stay somewhere else and go through the eviction process. Mad world. The pendulum needed to swing toward protecting women by default. As these things happen, it may have swung to a point where nuance needs to be applied. Your example seems fairly complex. I couldn't opine on it w/o knowing the details of the complaint. I can offer a different example. My ex's mental illness sometimes required me to take a stronger hand in her life, than would be benign otherwise. One time, she was in a delusional state. She stole my van and left the area. I wasn't able to report it stolen because she was my wife. The police were protecting her from the possibility that I was lying and using the police to harass her. A stranger found her in the middle of the night, hundreds of miles away, in a remote area wrapped only in a towel - obviously not herself. I directed the guy to call the police because he could do that. Local cops delivered her to a facility where she was stabilized. What I would change is that I would have had tightly limited status as her caregiver. I'd want my wife and I to be regularly evaluated by a female mental health professional, who had training to detect manipulative spouses. In cases where my wife might be in distress, police would defer to me. Meanwhile the details would be immediately forwarded to the MH pro overseeing my spouse, who'd have authority to intervene, if she saw an issue.
- fires10 5y ago
  I wish that was an option. I've been there with mine.
- corndoge 5y ago
  > The pendulum needed to swing toward protecting women by default He owned the house. If she felt in danger, the cops should come and escort her out of the house that doesn't belong to her. I don't see how your story is related to this.
  - kennywinker 5y ago
    But they lived together there? Even when it's under the status of a romantic relationship, that's still at least partially a tenant-landlord relationship and as such the tenant has rights. Setting aside all the gender politics - you don't get to evict a tenant at a moment's notice. And yeah, he got evicted sorta. But he still owns the house. I'm not saying it's an ideal situation... but given the tenant landlord power imbalance, I don't think it's actually obvious that he gets to keep living there and she doesn't just because they've separated.
    - frosted-flakes 5y ago
      I'm trying to get this straight. If he owns the house and lives there, then why do his tenant's rights supersede his own? The tenant might live there and thus has certain rights, but so does he.
      - atatatat 5y ago
        Not if he's determined to be an aggressor in the eyes of law enforcement in the (at least, US) jurisdiction.
        deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
        jokethrowaway 5y ago
        In this case noone is claiming abuse, there is no aggression. She merely stated she was feeling unsafe. We don't live in minority report, so he's not an aggressor.
- overgard 5y ago
  > The pendulum needed to swing There's no pendulum, there's just doing the right thing and the wrong thing. Doing something wrong in the other direction is just as bad.
  - danielheath 5y ago
    The world operates on heuristics, not perfect information, and we can’t make the right decision in every case. Something can be the best available policy and also cause to poor outcomes in some situations.

WarOnPrivacy 5y ago

> Yes. His house. She told the cops she felt in danger. Cops told him he had to stay somewhere else and go through the eviction process. Mad world. The pendulum needed to swing toward protecting women by default. As these things happen, it may have swung to a point where nuance needs to be applied. Your example seems fairly complex. I couldn't opine on it w/o knowing the details of the complaint. I can offer a different example. My ex's mental illness sometimes required me to take a stronger hand in her life, than would be benign otherwise. One time, she was in a delusional state. She stole my van and left the area. I wasn't able to report it stolen because she was my wife. The police were protecting her from the possibility that I was lying and using the police to harass her. A stranger found her in the middle of the night, hundreds of miles away, in a remote area wrapped only in a towel - obviously not herself. I directed the guy to call the police because he could do that. Local cops delivered her to a facility where she was stabilized. What I would change is that I would have had tightly limited status as her caregiver. I'd want my wife and I to be regularly evaluated by a female mental health professional, who had training to detect manipulative spouses. In cases where my wife might be in distress, police would defer to me. Meanwhile the details would be immediately forwarded to the MH pro overseeing my spouse, who'd have authority to intervene, if she saw an issue.

fires10 5y ago
I wish that was an option. I've been there with mine.
corndoge 5y ago
> The pendulum needed to swing toward protecting women by default He owned the house. If she felt in danger, the cops should come and escort her out of the house that doesn't belong to her. I don't see how your story is related to this.
- kennywinker 5y ago
  But they lived together there? Even when it's under the status of a romantic relationship, that's still at least partially a tenant-landlord relationship and as such the tenant has rights. Setting aside all the gender politics - you don't get to evict a tenant at a moment's notice. And yeah, he got evicted sorta. But he still owns the house. I'm not saying it's an ideal situation... but given the tenant landlord power imbalance, I don't think it's actually obvious that he gets to keep living there and she doesn't just because they've separated.
  - frosted-flakes 5y ago
    I'm trying to get this straight. If he owns the house and lives there, then why do his tenant's rights supersede his own? The tenant might live there and thus has certain rights, but so does he.
    - atatatat 5y ago
      Not if he's determined to be an aggressor in the eyes of law enforcement in the (at least, US) jurisdiction.
      - deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
      - jokethrowaway 5y ago
        In this case noone is claiming abuse, there is no aggression. She merely stated she was feeling unsafe. We don't live in minority report, so he's not an aggressor.
overgard 5y ago
> The pendulum needed to swing There's no pendulum, there's just doing the right thing and the wrong thing. Doing something wrong in the other direction is just as bad.
- danielheath 5y ago
  The world operates on heuristics, not perfect information, and we can’t make the right decision in every case. Something can be the best available policy and also cause to poor outcomes in some situations.