6 ms·

I have a `don't do` list and a `anti-regret` list. The `don't do` list works well, not all the time but I am constantly reminded not to drink coke, down from m

I have a `don't do` list and a `anti-regret` list. The `don't do` list works well, not all the time but I am constantly reminded not to drink coke, down from many liters a day. My `anti-regret` list takes priority over my to do list, things like spend more time with the kids, again works in the majority of times.

zelphirkalt 5y ago
When I read anti-regret list first, I thought it would be a list of things you already have done, that you came to the conclusion you should not regret. But what you describe sounds more useful for deciding what to do next.
- ant6n 5y ago
  I thought it's a don't do list where you also decide you won't regret not doing it.
- tenkabuto 5y ago
  Yeah, it seems like you're doing pre-mortem analysis on your conscience.
Apocryphon 5y ago
I’ve thought of creating a “worrybook” to jot down anxious thoughts and worries to confirm afterwards whether or not if they had any basis in reality, or were in fact irrational. So another angle of dealing with regret. Is there any psychological basis of recording bad thoughts to disprove them, as a way to treat anxiety?
- Rainymood 5y ago
  What you describe is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). I use it personally and has helped me greatly https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
- scns 5y ago
  It is a very healthy thing to do. The simplest forms are getting a clicker and pushing it, every time you have a negative/self defeating thought, the other would be to put a rubber band around your wrist and let it snap every time you have one. Both approaches usually show a decrease in negativity against oneself, just by making those self deceating thoughts conscious.
- nialse 5y ago
  Licensed psychologist here. A similar worksheet is often used in CT (cognitive therapy) to challange ones thoughts. The therapy is based on the works of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_T._Beck https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_T._Beck among others. Brief description of CT by GPT-3: "Cognitive therapy was first developed as a treatment for depression. Beck's theory was that depressed people think the way they do because they have certain beliefs about themselves, their world, and the way the world works. Beck believed that these negative thoughts can be changed by challenging them with rational responses until the person accepts them." Reach out to a CT (or CBT) therapist if you need guidance on how to approach the methods and have them tailored to your needs.
  - joshjdr 5y ago
    Why reference GPT-3? Was there no other suitable or practical source available (e.g. dictionary, encyclopedia, textbook, WebMD, etc)? Was the output accurate (first try, no edits)? I’m just curious, as I doubt the citation as a source lends credibility to content itself, or the context in which it was provided (no offense intended—- perhaps I’m in the minority here).
    - mkoryak 5y ago
      maybe because this is hacker news and GPT-3 is cool.
      - nialse 5y ago
        You're on to something here. ;) Being a psychologist and an engineer, AI is an intriguing subject and I'm amazed what GPT-3 can produce.
    - nialse 5y ago
      Good question! Some time ago I got the chance to see what GPT-3 knew about psychology and psychological treatment. One of the subjects I let it confabulate about happened to be Cognitive Therapy. All though not perfect in any way, the descriptions are often quite good. I think this example is actually a first shot without edits. Aaron or Judith Becks works are good references otherwise if you want actual reference. From a research perspective I would start out at the reference below. Beck, A. T., & Dozois, D. J. (2011). Cognitive therapy: current status and future directions. Annual review of medicine, 62, 397-409.
- HeyZuess 5y ago
  > I’ve thought of creating a “worrybook” There are a few major parts to my system, the major ones being - Daily check in - Reflection of the previous day - Morning journal - Daily planner - Don't do and Anti-regret lists - Review of the day (including a note to my future self) - And a habit tracker, this also tracks how I feel in the morning, and how I feel in the night. So in regards to the "worry book", I think it is a great idea. Anxiety sucks, and being able to understand why it happens and how to deal with it is a good practice. So this is how the above works for me in regards to anxiety at a high level. 1. Daily check in: This sets me up for the day, it has a list of traits I want or do have, my `don't do` and `anti-regret` lists and some other things. So for example a trait might be, 'calm', as well as some quotes which bring me back down to reality. This also includes some tools, like meditation. 2. The reflection of the previous day: I look back at what happened the previous day, what went right/wrong and what made me happy. 3. Morning journal: How I feel when I start my day, personal goals and thought. 4. Review of the day: What went right/wrong and what made me happy, and message to my future self. How I think this works, for a "worrybook": 1. Daily check in: helps me understand the person I want to be for example a trait might be 'Not controlled by anxiety', and I will have a tool which helps that, like 'meditation' 2. The reflection of the previous day: I get to see what was bothering me the previous day, how it affected me, what I did about it or what I didn't do about it. But it also shows me that I can make it through the day, even with "bad" things happening. 3. Morning journal, how I feel and this is where I first try to adjust my thoughts. What I can do to lessen my anxiety, if it is just panic etc. How I want to feel. 4. Review of the day: I found it always good to review. Calm my mind before sleep, document how I handled the day etc. So summed up I have understanding of how anxiety affects me, when it has be relevant historically, how I have dealt with it, and the tools which I have to deal with it. I know a little complex though, but it works for me. It's interesting that someone mentions CBT below, it is my understanding that it is influenced somewhat by stoic thinking, which was one of the drivers behind my system. I also read `The Daily Stoic` by Ryan Holiday daily as part of one of my tasks. All of this takes me about 30 to 45 minutes a day.
peterburkimsher 5y ago
In Chinese, there are 2 words for "regret". 後悔 hòu huǐ is the regret of things I did: e.g. I regret drinking that much. 遺憾 yí hàn is the regret of things I didn't do: e.g. I regret not asking her to dance. Which do you have more of on your anti-regret list? Spending time with kids sounds much more like 遺憾 yí hàn.
- HeyZuess 5y ago
  > Which do you have more of on your anti-regret list? 遺憾 yí hàn type items, my `don't do` list would be a better area for 後悔 hòu huǐ item. The anti-regret list is forward looking, as in if I did not do these things I will/may regret it. The don't do list is backwards looking, if I do these things then I will/may regret it.
Abishek_Muthian 5y ago
Are the items in the list single level or do you have multilevel items too? Say you have something you don't want to do but if you did, Then followed by 'do this' or 'don't do this' for course correction. e.g. . └── Don't Drink/ ├── Don't call ex gf/ │ ├── Called ex gf/ │ │ ├── Apologize and quit the call/ | | ├──... I'm asking this because I'm trying to find whether it's possible to build a second-order thinking tool; Where people can submit various recipes for second/multi-order thinking. I've been tracking this on my validation platform[1]. [1] https://needgap.com/problems/263-plan-second-order-third-order-consequences-mentalmodel-cognitivescience https://needgap.com/problems/263-plan-second-order-third-ord...
- HeyZuess 5y ago
  Singular level for me. This could be helpful though for my `anti-regret` list, as a pre-mortem.
  - Abishek_Muthian 5y ago
    Thanks, I guess pre-mortem strategies are by itself multi-order thinking and so it makes sense.

zelphirkalt 5y ago

When I read anti-regret list first, I thought it would be a list of things you already have done, that you came to the conclusion you should not regret. But what you describe sounds more useful for deciding what to do next.

ant6n 5y ago
I thought it's a don't do list where you also decide you won't regret not doing it.
tenkabuto 5y ago
Yeah, it seems like you're doing pre-mortem analysis on your conscience.

Apocryphon 5y ago

I’ve thought of creating a “worrybook” to jot down anxious thoughts and worries to confirm afterwards whether or not if they had any basis in reality, or were in fact irrational. So another angle of dealing with regret. Is there any psychological basis of recording bad thoughts to disprove them, as a way to treat anxiety?

Rainymood 5y ago
What you describe is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). I use it personally and has helped me greatly https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
scns 5y ago
It is a very healthy thing to do. The simplest forms are getting a clicker and pushing it, every time you have a negative/self defeating thought, the other would be to put a rubber band around your wrist and let it snap every time you have one. Both approaches usually show a decrease in negativity against oneself, just by making those self deceating thoughts conscious.
nialse 5y ago
Licensed psychologist here. A similar worksheet is often used in CT (cognitive therapy) to challange ones thoughts. The therapy is based on the works of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_T._Beck https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_T._Beck among others. Brief description of CT by GPT-3: "Cognitive therapy was first developed as a treatment for depression. Beck's theory was that depressed people think the way they do because they have certain beliefs about themselves, their world, and the way the world works. Beck believed that these negative thoughts can be changed by challenging them with rational responses until the person accepts them." Reach out to a CT (or CBT) therapist if you need guidance on how to approach the methods and have them tailored to your needs.
- joshjdr 5y ago
  Why reference GPT-3? Was there no other suitable or practical source available (e.g. dictionary, encyclopedia, textbook, WebMD, etc)? Was the output accurate (first try, no edits)? I’m just curious, as I doubt the citation as a source lends credibility to content itself, or the context in which it was provided (no offense intended—- perhaps I’m in the minority here).
  - mkoryak 5y ago
    maybe because this is hacker news and GPT-3 is cool.
    - nialse 5y ago
      You're on to something here. ;) Being a psychologist and an engineer, AI is an intriguing subject and I'm amazed what GPT-3 can produce.
  - nialse 5y ago
    Good question! Some time ago I got the chance to see what GPT-3 knew about psychology and psychological treatment. One of the subjects I let it confabulate about happened to be Cognitive Therapy. All though not perfect in any way, the descriptions are often quite good. I think this example is actually a first shot without edits. Aaron or Judith Becks works are good references otherwise if you want actual reference. From a research perspective I would start out at the reference below. Beck, A. T., & Dozois, D. J. (2011). Cognitive therapy: current status and future directions. Annual review of medicine, 62, 397-409.
HeyZuess 5y ago
> I’ve thought of creating a “worrybook” There are a few major parts to my system, the major ones being - Daily check in - Reflection of the previous day - Morning journal - Daily planner - Don't do and Anti-regret lists - Review of the day (including a note to my future self) - And a habit tracker, this also tracks how I feel in the morning, and how I feel in the night. So in regards to the "worry book", I think it is a great idea. Anxiety sucks, and being able to understand why it happens and how to deal with it is a good practice. So this is how the above works for me in regards to anxiety at a high level. 1. Daily check in: This sets me up for the day, it has a list of traits I want or do have, my `don't do` and `anti-regret` lists and some other things. So for example a trait might be, 'calm', as well as some quotes which bring me back down to reality. This also includes some tools, like meditation. 2. The reflection of the previous day: I look back at what happened the previous day, what went right/wrong and what made me happy. 3. Morning journal: How I feel when I start my day, personal goals and thought. 4. Review of the day: What went right/wrong and what made me happy, and message to my future self. How I think this works, for a "worrybook": 1. Daily check in: helps me understand the person I want to be for example a trait might be 'Not controlled by anxiety', and I will have a tool which helps that, like 'meditation' 2. The reflection of the previous day: I get to see what was bothering me the previous day, how it affected me, what I did about it or what I didn't do about it. But it also shows me that I can make it through the day, even with "bad" things happening. 3. Morning journal, how I feel and this is where I first try to adjust my thoughts. What I can do to lessen my anxiety, if it is just panic etc. How I want to feel. 4. Review of the day: I found it always good to review. Calm my mind before sleep, document how I handled the day etc. So summed up I have understanding of how anxiety affects me, when it has be relevant historically, how I have dealt with it, and the tools which I have to deal with it. I know a little complex though, but it works for me. It's interesting that someone mentions CBT below, it is my understanding that it is influenced somewhat by stoic thinking, which was one of the drivers behind my system. I also read `The Daily Stoic` by Ryan Holiday daily as part of one of my tasks. All of this takes me about 30 to 45 minutes a day.

peterburkimsher 5y ago

In Chinese, there are 2 words for "regret". 後悔 hòu huǐ is the regret of things I did: e.g. I regret drinking that much. 遺憾 yí hàn is the regret of things I didn't do: e.g. I regret not asking her to dance. Which do you have more of on your anti-regret list? Spending time with kids sounds much more like 遺憾 yí hàn.

HeyZuess 5y ago
> Which do you have more of on your anti-regret list? 遺憾 yí hàn type items, my `don't do` list would be a better area for 後悔 hòu huǐ item. The anti-regret list is forward looking, as in if I did not do these things I will/may regret it. The don't do list is backwards looking, if I do these things then I will/may regret it.

Abishek_Muthian 5y ago

Are the items in the list single level or do you have multilevel items too? Say you have something you don't want to do but if you did, Then followed by 'do this' or 'don't do this' for course correction. e.g. . └── Don't Drink/ ├── Don't call ex gf/ │ ├── Called ex gf/ │ │ ├── Apologize and quit the call/ | | ├──... I'm asking this because I'm trying to find whether it's possible to build a second-order thinking tool; Where people can submit various recipes for second/multi-order thinking. I've been tracking this on my validation platform[1]. [1] https://needgap.com/problems/263-plan-second-order-third-order-consequences-mentalmodel-cognitivescience https://needgap.com/problems/263-plan-second-order-third-ord...

HeyZuess 5y ago
Singular level for me. This could be helpful though for my `anti-regret` list, as a pre-mortem.
- Abishek_Muthian 5y ago
  Thanks, I guess pre-mortem strategies are by itself multi-order thinking and so it makes sense.