My appliances are not allowed to have strong opinions. And when they have opinions at all, they’re not allowed to communicate them except for the most subtle of

My appliances are not allowed to have strong opinions. And when they have opinions at all, they’re not allowed to communicate them except for the most subtle of ways. “Oh you’re emitting a nice, quiet ring because you think the fridge door has been open too long? That’s nice, it’s going to be open a bit longer.” Heaven help my toaster if it ever stops mid toast because it thinks the bread is already done.