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Anecdotally I can report myself having an enormous excess of free time but only because I'm in a tough financial and mental situation, I have no job, but I'm al

Anecdotally I can report myself having an enormous excess of free time but only because I'm in a tough financial and mental situation, I have no job, but I'm also living a very frugal lifestyle to compensate. This frugality leads to few possibilities to meaningfully go forward. For the last year and until next month or so I'm having basically unlimited free time, but I'm not happy about it.

ggm 5y ago
I'm close to retirement age. I'm advised by everyone I ask not to just go "cold turkey", but find things to do which give respect from others, and contribute to some activity. It could be part-time work, or volunteering, but taking a role in an activity which builds something, is better for your health. It's probably a variant of CBT, taking behaviour which commands respect engenders a sense of self-respect which lifts the spirit. You have purpose. Old people who cease work and stop, die young. Those aggressive golfers are probably drinking hard too. The ones who are "working" even if without pay, working for minimum wage to supplement retirement income, and for the social engagement, seem to live longer, happer. Even just being able to grumble about how menial the work is, helps. My god! I used to be a company director, now look at me, sorting underwear in a charity shop (but.. doing it) -kind of thing (I am not a company director and I do not work in a charity shop) Talking to unemployed people, who want to work, I also know they say that the support systems in the state typically make this really hard: you cannot commit to work without pay, if it risks your status as unemployed, to recieve welfare. If you have to go in to interview or for some welfare process, and can't volunteer that day, a lot of agencies can't use you because they can't rely on you. So, its a double trap: its "safer" to do nothing, because you can't either let down the people you want to do things with or, be denied welfare. Truly, a trap. So, if you don't have a risk here, I very much suggest you find some thing to do, any thing, which contributes back to some other endevour. Wash dishes in a local kindy. Hold newborn babies in hospital whose parents can't be there. Help pack food for people who are starving. Join a morning pick-up-litter group. I also know how tedious these suggestions are, how much they hurt and irritate. When they were put to me in times past, I "bit back" and told people not to be facetious or patronising. I knew these things could be done, I didn't need to be "told". I had to be driven out of a slump, taken in hand, and guided to a better sense of my place in the world, so I don't say this as "haven't walked there". (I only say this because you strongly suggest your are aware this situation is not improving your mental health, or making you happy. To use an internet witticism or two, "you do you" and "Im not the boss of you")
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- bittercynic 5y ago
  I've been in the position of needing to heed that advice, but not able to, as well as needing to tell it to someone close to me, but knowing it wouldn't be well received. Maybe the best we can do to help a friend in that situation is invite them out to lunch and a walk, and be a kind listener. That has certainly helped me, and I think I've helped a friend or two that way.
  - ggm 5y ago
    Yes, this is good advice. Be a good listener.
SilverRed 5y ago
I have found that 1 week holidays are optimal for me. 2 weeks off is common over the Christmas period but I find that if I spend it at home, I enjoy the first week of laying around but am bored of it by the second. And if I spend it out somewhere else, I get exhausted by the end of the first week and want to be back home. The problem usually is that by the second week I want to get to some kind of difficult and productive task but I can not think of anything that can be done within a week so I either do nothing or start something that I do not finish. If I had 6 months off I would certainly be able to fill that with interesting tasks.
- loa_in_ 5y ago
  Unfortunately in my situation it was all "this will be over soon". I never expected more than few months of this. If I assumed this from the start I'd probably have a business growing by now.

ggm 5y ago

I'm close to retirement age. I'm advised by everyone I ask not to just go "cold turkey", but find things to do which give respect from others, and contribute to some activity. It could be part-time work, or volunteering, but taking a role in an activity which builds something, is better for your health. It's probably a variant of CBT, taking behaviour which commands respect engenders a sense of self-respect which lifts the spirit. You have purpose. Old people who cease work and stop, die young. Those aggressive golfers are probably drinking hard too. The ones who are "working" even if without pay, working for minimum wage to supplement retirement income, and for the social engagement, seem to live longer, happer. Even just being able to grumble about how menial the work is, helps. My god! I used to be a company director, now look at me, sorting underwear in a charity shop (but.. doing it) -kind of thing (I am not a company director and I do not work in a charity shop) Talking to unemployed people, who want to work, I also know they say that the support systems in the state typically make this really hard: you cannot commit to work without pay, if it risks your status as unemployed, to recieve welfare. If you have to go in to interview or for some welfare process, and can't volunteer that day, a lot of agencies can't use you because they can't rely on you. So, its a double trap: its "safer" to do nothing, because you can't either let down the people you want to do things with or, be denied welfare. Truly, a trap. So, if you don't have a risk here, I very much suggest you find some thing to do, any thing, which contributes back to some other endevour. Wash dishes in a local kindy. Hold newborn babies in hospital whose parents can't be there. Help pack food for people who are starving. Join a morning pick-up-litter group. I also know how tedious these suggestions are, how much they hurt and irritate. When they were put to me in times past, I "bit back" and told people not to be facetious or patronising. I knew these things could be done, I didn't need to be "told". I had to be driven out of a slump, taken in hand, and guided to a better sense of my place in the world, so I don't say this as "haven't walked there". (I only say this because you strongly suggest your are aware this situation is not improving your mental health, or making you happy. To use an internet witticism or two, "you do you" and "Im not the boss of you")

deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
bittercynic 5y ago
I've been in the position of needing to heed that advice, but not able to, as well as needing to tell it to someone close to me, but knowing it wouldn't be well received. Maybe the best we can do to help a friend in that situation is invite them out to lunch and a walk, and be a kind listener. That has certainly helped me, and I think I've helped a friend or two that way.
- ggm 5y ago
  Yes, this is good advice. Be a good listener.

SilverRed 5y ago

I have found that 1 week holidays are optimal for me. 2 weeks off is common over the Christmas period but I find that if I spend it at home, I enjoy the first week of laying around but am bored of it by the second. And if I spend it out somewhere else, I get exhausted by the end of the first week and want to be back home. The problem usually is that by the second week I want to get to some kind of difficult and productive task but I can not think of anything that can be done within a week so I either do nothing or start something that I do not finish. If I had 6 months off I would certainly be able to fill that with interesting tasks.

loa_in_ 5y ago
Unfortunately in my situation it was all "this will be over soon". I never expected more than few months of this. If I assumed this from the start I'd probably have a business growing by now.