I googled around a bit to find some actual Roman jokes [0][1][2]: One man complains to another: "The slave you sold me died!" "By the gods!", the other replies

I googled around a bit to find some actual Roman jokes [0][1][2]: One man complains to another: "The slave you sold me died!" "By the gods!", the other replies. "During the time he was in my service, he never did such a thing!" A man is attending the burial of his wife, who has just died. When a passerby asks, "Who is it who rests in peace here?", he answers, "Me, now that I'm rid of her! A provincial man has come to Rome, and walking on the streets was drawing everyone's attention, as he was a real double of the emperor Augustus. The emperor, having brought him to the palace, looks at him and then asks: "Tell me, young man, did your mother come to Rome anytime?" The reply was: "She never did. But my father frequently was here." An intellectual came to check in on a friend who was seriously ill. When the man's wife said that he had 'departed', the intellectual replied: "When he comes back, will you tell him that I stopped by?" A misogynist stood in the marketplace and announced: "I’m putting my wife up for sale! Tax-free!" When people asked him why, he said: "So the authorities will impound her." A runner going to participate in a contest had a dream that he was driving a quadriga. Early in the morning he goes to a dream interpreter for an explanation. The reply is: "You will win, the dream meant you have the speed and the strength of horses." But, to be sure, the runner visits another dream interpreter. This one replies: "You will lose. Don’t you understand that four ones came to me before you?" An intellectual got a slave pregnant. At the birth, his father suggested that the child be killed. The intellectual replied: "First murder your own children and then tell me to kill mine!" A intellectual checked in on the parents of a dead classmate. The father was wailing: "O son, you have left me a cripple!" The mother was crying: "O son, you have taken the light from my eyes!" Later, the student says to his friends: "If he were guilty of all that, he should have been killed while still alive." An incompetent astrologer cast a man's horoscope and said: "You are unable to father children." When the man objected that he had seven kids, the astrologer replied: "Look after them well." A young man said to his libido-driven wife: "What should we do, darling? Eat or have sex?" She replied: "You can choose. But there's not a crumb in the house." An astrologer cast a sick boy's horoscope. After promising the mother that the child had many years ahead of him, he demanded payment. When she said, "Come tomorrow and I’ll pay you," he objected: "But what if the boy dies during the night and I lose my fee?" [0] https://imperiumromanum.pl/en/article/roman-sense-of-humor/ https://imperiumromanum.pl/en/article/roman-sense-of-humor/ [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_jokes https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_jokes [2] https://aleteia.org/2017/05/23/want-to-hear-an-ancient-roman-joke-heres-a-collection/ https://aleteia.org/2017/05/23/want-to-hear-an-ancient-roman...