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Your comment made me realize that I should maybe not react when I kick the cat by accident. I stop and tell her get how sorry I am, which did not make much sen

Your comment made me realize that I should maybe not react when I kick the cat by accident. I stop and tell her get how sorry I am, which did not make much sense and probably confuses the cat even more. Same with a dog (when I had one). Thanks for the interesting comment about something I never have a deeper thought to.

Stratoscope 5y ago
> I stop and tell her get how sorry I am, which did not make much sense and probably confuses the cat even more. Thanks for giving this some thought. Really, it does make sense to your dog or cat. When cats play, they often will hurt each other a bit as they tumble and play. Same with dogs. Just watch their behavior afterward. If they really meant to hurt each other, the attack will continue. If it was an accident, they will stop, smell each others' butts, see if everyone was OK, and then either take a rest or get back to playing. Two of our cats love to toss and tumble every night. If you didn't know, you might think they were fighting. But they are best of friends and love to play like that. I suppose this is the bottom line (quite literally): if you kick your cat, smell her butt! No, seriously, you don't need to do that. Cats and dogs have an amazing talent for reading human emotions. So just reassure her that you didn't mean to do it. A little head scratch, pet her, and she will get the message.
- BrandoElFollito 5y ago
  > Really, it does make sense to your dog or cat. What I meant is that it may be better to just continue walking after having stepped on them as if nothing happened, rather than making the event special. I have more experience with children than with cats so this may be the reason (when my children fell and hurt themselves (in the "usual way"), they would look around to check how parents react. If we did as if nothing happened or just casually acknowledged the accident, they would usually go ahead with what they were doing. Running to them with "poor baby!" was the worst thing to do (in our case at least))
  - pxc 5y ago
    > I have more experience with children than with cats so this may be the reason (when my children fell and hurt themselves (in the "usual way"), they would look around to check how parents react. If we did as if nothing happened or just casually acknowledged the accident, they would usually go ahead with what they were doing. Running to them with "poor baby!" was the worst thing to do (in our case at least)) Dogs are like this, too. This is how a lot of owners end up reinforcing fear and fear-related aggression: cooing and fawning when their dog is shaking with fear, growling, or barking. I've had dogs who are smaller than most cats. When I step on a paw, I do apologize and I do check on the critter, but I try to keep it low-drama so as not to feed into all that. I just pick them up and gently squeeze each paw with gradually increasing firmness, while I watch to gauge the reactions. This lets me know whether he's actually hurt or the yelping was more anticipatory (like a 'watch out!') and if the former, which paw it was and a little bit about how bad it is. Then I give them a quick and cheerful apology and I pet them or throw a toy to chase or something like that. If you want I can try to find some more authoritative resources on this, but basically your intuitions and the analogy from your kids are right on afaik.
elliekelly 5y ago
I think there is a fair bit of evidence that animals console each other and “reconcile” after they’ve hurt one another. I definitely think dogs and cats understand you’re trying to communicate you‘re sorry. Or maybe at least that you aren’t angry with them. At any rate, we humans have been “apologizing” to our pets like this forever. It’s almost instinctual to us. So I don’t think it’s a confusing experience for pets. It would probably more confusing for your pet if you were to suddenly stop this behavior.
lucb1e 5y ago
Agree with the other comments. I do totally let our cat know that I am sorry and will use high-pitched voice (distinct from when I push them (gentle but firm) away from food and use low-pitch, for example) and do caring things like invite them to come to me, stroke them, etc. Not scientific but I do believe they get it. This might have the side effect that they care less to avoid the situation next time (sometimes it's totally their fault, behind an opaque door how am I supposed to know they're sitting there? Of course it can move at some point), though the toilet door they seem to have been burned by often enough that they start running when the toilet flushes regardless of whether the door was cracked and we could each see each other's eyes so they know I know they're there ^^'

Stratoscope 5y ago

> I stop and tell her get how sorry I am, which did not make much sense and probably confuses the cat even more. Thanks for giving this some thought. Really, it does make sense to your dog or cat. When cats play, they often will hurt each other a bit as they tumble and play. Same with dogs. Just watch their behavior afterward. If they really meant to hurt each other, the attack will continue. If it was an accident, they will stop, smell each others' butts, see if everyone was OK, and then either take a rest or get back to playing. Two of our cats love to toss and tumble every night. If you didn't know, you might think they were fighting. But they are best of friends and love to play like that. I suppose this is the bottom line (quite literally): if you kick your cat, smell her butt! No, seriously, you don't need to do that. Cats and dogs have an amazing talent for reading human emotions. So just reassure her that you didn't mean to do it. A little head scratch, pet her, and she will get the message.

BrandoElFollito 5y ago
> Really, it does make sense to your dog or cat. What I meant is that it may be better to just continue walking after having stepped on them as if nothing happened, rather than making the event special. I have more experience with children than with cats so this may be the reason (when my children fell and hurt themselves (in the "usual way"), they would look around to check how parents react. If we did as if nothing happened or just casually acknowledged the accident, they would usually go ahead with what they were doing. Running to them with "poor baby!" was the worst thing to do (in our case at least))
- pxc 5y ago
  > I have more experience with children than with cats so this may be the reason (when my children fell and hurt themselves (in the "usual way"), they would look around to check how parents react. If we did as if nothing happened or just casually acknowledged the accident, they would usually go ahead with what they were doing. Running to them with "poor baby!" was the worst thing to do (in our case at least)) Dogs are like this, too. This is how a lot of owners end up reinforcing fear and fear-related aggression: cooing and fawning when their dog is shaking with fear, growling, or barking. I've had dogs who are smaller than most cats. When I step on a paw, I do apologize and I do check on the critter, but I try to keep it low-drama so as not to feed into all that. I just pick them up and gently squeeze each paw with gradually increasing firmness, while I watch to gauge the reactions. This lets me know whether he's actually hurt or the yelping was more anticipatory (like a 'watch out!') and if the former, which paw it was and a little bit about how bad it is. Then I give them a quick and cheerful apology and I pet them or throw a toy to chase or something like that. If you want I can try to find some more authoritative resources on this, but basically your intuitions and the analogy from your kids are right on afaik.

elliekelly 5y ago

I think there is a fair bit of evidence that animals console each other and “reconcile” after they’ve hurt one another. I definitely think dogs and cats understand you’re trying to communicate you‘re sorry. Or maybe at least that you aren’t angry with them. At any rate, we humans have been “apologizing” to our pets like this forever. It’s almost instinctual to us. So I don’t think it’s a confusing experience for pets. It would probably more confusing for your pet if you were to suddenly stop this behavior.

lucb1e 5y ago

Agree with the other comments. I do totally let our cat know that I am sorry and will use high-pitched voice (distinct from when I push them (gentle but firm) away from food and use low-pitch, for example) and do caring things like invite them to come to me, stroke them, etc. Not scientific but I do believe they get it. This might have the side effect that they care less to avoid the situation next time (sometimes it's totally their fault, behind an opaque door how am I supposed to know they're sitting there? Of course it can move at some point), though the toilet door they seem to have been burned by often enough that they start running when the toilet flushes regardless of whether the door was cracked and we could each see each other's eyes so they know I know they're there ^^'