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This may be controversial but I think money is the best gift. With money one can purchase whatever one wants. From my experience I rarely got what I want when I

This may be controversial but I think money is the best gift. With money one can purchase whatever one wants. From my experience I rarely got what I want when I received a gift.

IggleSniggle 5y ago
The best gifts operate at a sort of conversational / semantic level, where the item itself is a beautiful reminder of a person that you love. The very best gift deeply acknowledges both you and your likes/dislikes as a person, while also finding a special deep connection to the gift-giver. Much like "a picture is worth a thousand words," the perfect gift is a reminder of a thousand conversations and intimate moments. If you are not searching for the semantics of the gift you received, then you may be missing out on the most important part of the gift. ...that said, I think the best gifts are still consumable so that they do not burden the gift receiver, and/or are handmade or cleverly devised by the giver.
Majestic121 5y ago
One of the main point of gift giving to me is the curation : trying to find something that you think the other one would like, showing that you know and understand the other person. Giving money is basically completely giving up on the curation part, which makes the gift extremely impersonal. It's marginally better than a very bad gift, but to me it would not qualify as a good gift in any case
allannienhuis 5y ago
it's the thought that counts. Money often comes across as a thoughtless (easy) gift, and often comes with strings attached, which is why it's not often used in western culture. Money is a great gift for someone who really needs it.
- robocat 5y ago
  > Money is a great gift for someone who really needs it. Perhaps ask the opinion of others in a similar situation first? There are a lot of overtones to money, perceived status signalling being an ugly one. I have more than one friend that really needs money, but they would definitely feel hurt if I did the simplest thing and just gave them money, so I have to be more creative to find ways to help that are joyful.
  - allannienhuis 5y ago
    I think the relationship with the giver makes a big difference - the intent may be clearer. I was thinking in terms of wedding gifts, birthday gifts, etc. There are lots of other types of gifts where money wouldn't be very acceptable for anyone - eg housewarming/visitor gifts.
robotresearcher 5y ago
One of my favorite gifts was a picture painted by my son aged 3 of him riding on my shoulders. Our faces are yellow and we have sun-rays coming out of our heads instead of hair. It’s glorious. No amount of money in the world could have caused that picture to exist.
aaron695 5y ago
> From my experience I rarely got what I want when I received a gift. Within gift giving what the receiver wants is the smaller part. So already you are off track on what gift giving is. Look at ideas like reciprocal altruism. Kim Stanley Robinson also explores gifting culture as a system in the Mars series, see if you can find excerpts. > This may be controversial but I think money is the best gift. This is not controversial. It's done in most cultures (Including the West) in many circumstances. Like weddings, the gift is very much a transaction, you gave me food, alcohol and entertainment, I pay for it. Any extra thought is diluted by the many other gifts, so money is often fine or a proxy through a gift register. But as a general rule it's wrong. Literally making up small tasks to ask people to help with (Forcing them to give) is a well know 'winning friends and influencing people' trick. Borrowing money not so much. As a base do what cultural tells you. Then if you want to be better than default, really think about it or read up for advice. It's good to have a few weird things about you. But if you get too many you will be just weird.
PeterisP 5y ago
On the other hand, if I know exactly what I want and can afford it, I have already bought or ordered it. Probably the question is whether gifts change what you can afford - for example, it does so for kids, but doesn't do so for a median middle-age person where a random gain or loss of e.g. a day's wages does not (or should not) change your behavior but only slightly change the current balance of your pool of savings or debt. So from that perspective, decent gifts are exactly those that you would like to have but in an ordinary situation would not buy; like something that's nice instead of the "best price/performance" option that you might buy otherwise if you'd have the cash, something a bit extraordinary (even if it's a small thing) for the celebration.

This may be controversial but I think money is the best gift. With money one can purchase whatever one wants. From my experience I rarely got what I want when I received a gift.

IggleSniggle 5y ago

The best gifts operate at a sort of conversational / semantic level, where the item itself is a beautiful reminder of a person that you love. The very best gift deeply acknowledges both you and your likes/dislikes as a person, while also finding a special deep connection to the gift-giver. Much like "a picture is worth a thousand words," the perfect gift is a reminder of a thousand conversations and intimate moments. If you are not searching for the semantics of the gift you received, then you may be missing out on the most important part of the gift. ...that said, I think the best gifts are still consumable so that they do not burden the gift receiver, and/or are handmade or cleverly devised by the giver.

Majestic121 5y ago

One of the main point of gift giving to me is the curation : trying to find something that you think the other one would like, showing that you know and understand the other person. Giving money is basically completely giving up on the curation part, which makes the gift extremely impersonal. It's marginally better than a very bad gift, but to me it would not qualify as a good gift in any case

allannienhuis 5y ago

it's the thought that counts. Money often comes across as a thoughtless (easy) gift, and often comes with strings attached, which is why it's not often used in western culture. Money is a great gift for someone who really needs it.

robocat 5y ago
> Money is a great gift for someone who really needs it. Perhaps ask the opinion of others in a similar situation first? There are a lot of overtones to money, perceived status signalling being an ugly one. I have more than one friend that really needs money, but they would definitely feel hurt if I did the simplest thing and just gave them money, so I have to be more creative to find ways to help that are joyful.
- allannienhuis 5y ago
  I think the relationship with the giver makes a big difference - the intent may be clearer. I was thinking in terms of wedding gifts, birthday gifts, etc. There are lots of other types of gifts where money wouldn't be very acceptable for anyone - eg housewarming/visitor gifts.

robotresearcher 5y ago

One of my favorite gifts was a picture painted by my son aged 3 of him riding on my shoulders. Our faces are yellow and we have sun-rays coming out of our heads instead of hair. It’s glorious. No amount of money in the world could have caused that picture to exist.

aaron695 5y ago

> From my experience I rarely got what I want when I received a gift. Within gift giving what the receiver wants is the smaller part. So already you are off track on what gift giving is. Look at ideas like reciprocal altruism. Kim Stanley Robinson also explores gifting culture as a system in the Mars series, see if you can find excerpts. > This may be controversial but I think money is the best gift. This is not controversial. It's done in most cultures (Including the West) in many circumstances. Like weddings, the gift is very much a transaction, you gave me food, alcohol and entertainment, I pay for it. Any extra thought is diluted by the many other gifts, so money is often fine or a proxy through a gift register. But as a general rule it's wrong. Literally making up small tasks to ask people to help with (Forcing them to give) is a well know 'winning friends and influencing people' trick. Borrowing money not so much. As a base do what cultural tells you. Then if you want to be better than default, really think about it or read up for advice. It's good to have a few weird things about you. But if you get too many you will be just weird.

PeterisP 5y ago

On the other hand, if I know exactly what I want and can afford it, I have already bought or ordered it. Probably the question is whether gifts change what you can afford - for example, it does so for kids, but doesn't do so for a median middle-age person where a random gain or loss of e.g. a day's wages does not (or should not) change your behavior but only slightly change the current balance of your pool of savings or debt. So from that perspective, decent gifts are exactly those that you would like to have but in an ordinary situation would not buy; like something that's nice instead of the "best price/performance" option that you might buy otherwise if you'd have the cash, something a bit extraordinary (even if it's a small thing) for the celebration.