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Interesting! Do I lose the ability to chose based on other things, then? Like, I prefer brunettes, would that be permitted, or should I be hair-color blind and

Interesting! Do I lose the ability to chose based on other things, then? Like, I prefer brunettes, would that be permitted, or should I be hair-color blind and just take what I’m given? I know you’re not an advocate for it, just interesting that some people hold this conviction!

sascha_sl 5y ago
This implies that trans people are deceptive. Is is deception if you prefer brunettes, but the person you're about to be intimate with has dyed their hair?
- simonklitj 5y ago
  Hopefully it doesn’t! Would you like to point out how I imply that trans people are deceptive? Sure, but my preference for being solely with brunettes is not as strong as my preference for being solely with straight people, so the deception is not equal in its merited response. Perhaps this is bigoted, but I’m sincerely interested in your conviction.
  - sascha_sl 5y ago
    Well, trans is not really a hard factor for attraction. Fully cis-passing trans women exist, even in intimate relationships, and I'd wager not all things that go into that even matter to most people. Feel free to exclude based on physical criteria common in trans people, be it from masculine features, to larger frames to a set of genitals you're not attracted to, but "trans people" as category is way to broad. Because they can functionally be cis women. Unless you have a breeding fetish I guess. Insisting on a separate category feels like people are holding on to bioessentialist feeling that trans women must be men, which would make a cis man gay. Pair that with toxic masculinity and you have one of the reasons for violence particularly against trans women. (I have no personal stake at this, like many trans people I mostly date other trans people, less complicated and your partner has less of a hard time relating to you)
    - simonklitj 5y ago
      Hey, thanks for taking the time to explain so in depth. I definitely get what you’re saying, and I don’t know that I’ve thought about it like this before (to be fair, I’ve only ever been with my wife, so it isn’t a situation that would ever be relevant, and probably that’s why I haven’t). Best of luck!

sascha_sl 5y ago

This implies that trans people are deceptive. Is is deception if you prefer brunettes, but the person you're about to be intimate with has dyed their hair?

simonklitj 5y ago
Hopefully it doesn’t! Would you like to point out how I imply that trans people are deceptive? Sure, but my preference for being solely with brunettes is not as strong as my preference for being solely with straight people, so the deception is not equal in its merited response. Perhaps this is bigoted, but I’m sincerely interested in your conviction.
- sascha_sl 5y ago
  Well, trans is not really a hard factor for attraction. Fully cis-passing trans women exist, even in intimate relationships, and I'd wager not all things that go into that even matter to most people. Feel free to exclude based on physical criteria common in trans people, be it from masculine features, to larger frames to a set of genitals you're not attracted to, but "trans people" as category is way to broad. Because they can functionally be cis women. Unless you have a breeding fetish I guess. Insisting on a separate category feels like people are holding on to bioessentialist feeling that trans women must be men, which would make a cis man gay. Pair that with toxic masculinity and you have one of the reasons for violence particularly against trans women. (I have no personal stake at this, like many trans people I mostly date other trans people, less complicated and your partner has less of a hard time relating to you)
  - simonklitj 5y ago
    Hey, thanks for taking the time to explain so in depth. I definitely get what you’re saying, and I don’t know that I’ve thought about it like this before (to be fair, I’ve only ever been with my wife, so it isn’t a situation that would ever be relevant, and probably that’s why I haven’t). Best of luck!