You sound like you are forcing yourself to do something which you don't really want to or are not enjoying doing. If it's something you really are passionate a

You sound like you are forcing yourself to do something which you don't really want to or are not enjoying doing. If it's something you really are passionate about, each small win, some progress should probably keep you going. May be you are aiming way too high, may be you should build a tiny PoC first.