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>>Maybe it's better to keep your mouth shut when giving feedback to females. Again, Why risk your entire career for one person? That's my logic at least. I hope

by moate 5y ago

>>Maybe it's better to keep your mouth shut when giving feedback to females. Again, Why risk your entire career for one person? That's my logic at least. I hope that doesn't mean I am sexist. Here's your simple test: Do you feel the same way about working with men? If not...I think you get your answer. But you already knew that didn't you?

erklik 5y ago
> Do you feel the same way about working with men? If not...I think you get your answer. But you already knew that didn't you? Not working, but giving feedback. You can work with someone without giving them feedback or trying to improve them. However, touche. I am not sure how that improves anything at all though. The entire point is that it seems like, in today's culture, it is better for men to not give feedback to women ala the case mentioned here (Ashley) and I've personally heard many other anecdotes as well. You can also see the case that the other person who replied to my comment talked about where a female coworker decided to file for discrimination just because the male was promoted. I guess it is sexist (1). Although, isn't that what women want? After all, "#tonepolicing is totally okay from my #bigtech #male leaders" clearly indicates that males giving advice is not appreciated at least to one female. Mentioning their gender clearly indicates that being "men" is what is also an important factor in why the feedback was bad. The addition of anecdotes, and the fact that anything taken even remotely badly is going to result in massive repercussions for the male who was giving advice only to benefit the female. Is providing benefit to another person really so important that one should take a risk? I am not sure. It is sexist to give feedback, and it is sexist to not give feedback. ---- 1. I guess this means I am a terrible human being, I mean I don't really consider myself as sexist or not liking/hating women. I am perfectly happy to work with women, and in general would like more women in tech since the testosterone gets way too high in rooms at times. In general, I never have thought of myself as a person who's sexist. However, I clearly did indicate a view where based on gender, I would likely choose to make a different decision in certain situations i.e. if I was giving feedback to a female, I would likely be a lot more cautious of my words and frame things so that there was no way for it to be taken badly, or more often, likely not say it because I am socially awkward enough anyway. :P

by moate 5y ago

erklik 5y ago

> Do you feel the same way about working with men? If not...I think you get your answer. But you already knew that didn't you? Not working, but giving feedback. You can work with someone without giving them feedback or trying to improve them. However, touche. I am not sure how that improves anything at all though. The entire point is that it seems like, in today's culture, it is better for men to not give feedback to women ala the case mentioned here (Ashley) and I've personally heard many other anecdotes as well. You can also see the case that the other person who replied to my comment talked about where a female coworker decided to file for discrimination just because the male was promoted. I guess it is sexist (1). Although, isn't that what women want? After all, "#tonepolicing is totally okay from my #bigtech #male leaders" clearly indicates that males giving advice is not appreciated at least to one female. Mentioning their gender clearly indicates that being "men" is what is also an important factor in why the feedback was bad. The addition of anecdotes, and the fact that anything taken even remotely badly is going to result in massive repercussions for the male who was giving advice only to benefit the female. Is providing benefit to another person really so important that one should take a risk? I am not sure. It is sexist to give feedback, and it is sexist to not give feedback. ---- 1. I guess this means I am a terrible human being, I mean I don't really consider myself as sexist or not liking/hating women. I am perfectly happy to work with women, and in general would like more women in tech since the testosterone gets way too high in rooms at times. In general, I never have thought of myself as a person who's sexist. However, I clearly did indicate a view where based on gender, I would likely choose to make a different decision in certain situations i.e. if I was giving feedback to a female, I would likely be a lot more cautious of my words and frame things so that there was no way for it to be taken badly, or more often, likely not say it because I am socially awkward enough anyway. :P