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I don't know if it was very, very off-putting, but I agree that the length of the piece together with the bolding made it harder to engage with the ideas. If t

I don't know if it was very, very off-putting, but I agree that the length of the piece together with the bolding made it harder to engage with the ideas. If the author is open to advice, mine would be this: 1. Consider your audience How might an audience of knowledgeable adults read into a piece that visually emphasizes every idea or phrase the author has decided is important? Might they feel that the piece is condescending to them? It's possible, and that is indeed how I felt reading the piece. 2. You have a lot of tools to emphasize important ideas. Don't use them all. Throughout the piece there is a lot of bolding, a lot of italics, and several ideas. Where each distinct clause is a sentence. Where each clause modifies the first subject. Pick one of these. Maybe two. But don't do everything, or the impact is lessened. 3. Edit yourself mercilessly Honestly, you're already on the way to editing this down - the important parts are bolded. Cut around them and see how much you can actually afford to lose.

afarrell 5y ago
I disagree with this as good advice. I think the post is at a point where any more self-editing would be navel-gazing. Instead, I’d advise first posting it to 1-3 editors whom you trust. “Consider your audience” is good…but also not very actionable until you make your audience specific.
- mpalmer 5y ago
  You're welcome to disagree, but what you're saying is pretty subjective. Self-editing is not "navel-gazing" if you do it right. > but also not very actionable until you make your audience specific He posted it to HN himself. Do I really need to be more specific?
  - afarrell 5y ago
    > Self-editing is not “navel-gazing” if you do it right True. But beyond a couple rounds of self-editing, it becomes extremely hard to do it right. > Do I really need to be more specific? Yep. HN is a whole bunch of people around the world. Look at what PG does before publishing an essay: 3-6 people whom he knows personally review them.

afarrell 5y ago

I disagree with this as good advice. I think the post is at a point where any more self-editing would be navel-gazing. Instead, I’d advise first posting it to 1-3 editors whom you trust. “Consider your audience” is good…but also not very actionable until you make your audience specific.

mpalmer 5y ago
You're welcome to disagree, but what you're saying is pretty subjective. Self-editing is not "navel-gazing" if you do it right. > but also not very actionable until you make your audience specific He posted it to HN himself. Do I really need to be more specific?
- afarrell 5y ago
  > Self-editing is not “navel-gazing” if you do it right True. But beyond a couple rounds of self-editing, it becomes extremely hard to do it right. > Do I really need to be more specific? Yep. HN is a whole bunch of people around the world. Look at what PG does before publishing an essay: 3-6 people whom he knows personally review them.