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I disagree. I mean sure, it's a good thing (if true) that race is less significant than politics in choosing a partner, but why should we have to pick one? unl
by leetcrew 5y ago
I disagree. I mean sure, it's a good thing (if true) that race is less significant than politics in choosing a partner, but why should we have to pick one?
unless you're part of a very select group of activists, politicians, or wealthy donors, your impact on world issues is pretty much negligible. the political opinions of the average person are much less significant than they might think. but what we can do is have a strong impact on the people who are actually in our lives, and that has very little to do with politics.
if I change my political positions to please a potential partner, that doesn't really change the big picture. if I refuse to date someone because of their political views, I again have not moved the needle at scale, but I have closed the door on a potentially happy partnership.
my parents have had a long and happy marriage despite deep disagreements over political issues. the disagreement is so strong that they had to agree years ago to simply not have those discussions. I guess that's not exactly the model of tolerance, but I am glad they found a way around that. if they hadn't, either my family would have been ripped in half, or I wouldn't have been born at all. and the rest of the world would be the same as it is today.
- reccanti 5y agoBRB changing my gender back so I can date a transphobe. Glad I changed my political position!
- leetcrew 5y agookay, that's a good counterexample. I wouldn't expect you to be able to have a good relationship with someone who doesn't agree you should exist and/or your gender identity is real. but take gun control for example, which seems to be pretty high on the list. does it really matter whether a potential partner is for/against gun control? one person's opinion is not going to change the law of the land. I'd think it would only matter whether you could come to an agreement on whether there would be guns in the home you share.
- klyrs 5y ago> I'd think it would only matter whether you could come to an agreement on whether there would be guns in the home you share. That does sound like a dealbreaker to me. A gun collector isn't going to marry somebody who won't tolerate guns in the house, right?
- leetcrew 5y agoyou can be against gun control without collecting guns. there are also gun collectors who are somewhat in favor of gun control (eg, "fudds"). my point is that many (maybe most?) political positions have very little to do with how people actually live their day-to-day and treat others in their life.
- reccanti 5y agoI think the problem is that we lump all these things together as "politics." This way, it's easy to bring up the specter of "we're too partisan these days," but if you look at the individual issues, it's a lot more rational. * If you're a woman who's pro-choice, would you want to date someone who might try and stop you from getting an abortion? * If you have LGBT friends or family, would you want to date someone who might be a jerk to them? * If you, a family member, or a friend is an immigrant, would you want to date someone who might try to deport them? In the past, I think a lot of people didn't interact with people who weren't like them, so it was easier to put aside these differences. Being exposed to more diversity makes ignoring these things less of a possiblity.
- dang 5y agoWould you please stop posting ideological flamebait to HN? I have no idea what your ideology is but you've been doing this a ton lately and we ban that sort of account—it's not what this site is for. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html