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I'm not sure why you're getting downvoted - this seems like a pretty reasonable comment that explores one person's current thinking on the topic. I don't inten

I'm not sure why you're getting downvoted - this seems like a pretty reasonable comment that explores one person's current thinking on the topic. I don't intend to have kids. I grew up in an abusive home, and I'm still working on attachment issues and CPTSD in my mid 30s. My rationale: this shit stops with me. Awareness and desire to address these issues isn't enough when I know I'm still exhibiting behaviors that I don't fully understand, and I won't propagate what my parents taught me. While I haven't 100% closed myself to the possibility of kids, I've decided (and accepted) that I will not pursue it without major personal progress, which currently has its own timetable, meaning the door is probably closed.

runawaybottle 5y ago
Divorce rates in America indicate that many people don’t consider this. Let’s say you don’t like interacting with certain people that often, then having a kid is kind of a reckless decision. You’ll need the help of your parents, your spouse’s parents, siblings, neighbors, etc to give the kid the optimal upbringing. Some people literally go ‘well I don’t like my partner anymore, so fuck this nuclear family shit’. If you have that in you, stay clear of parenthood.
- haswell 5y ago
  > You’ll need the help of your parents, your spouse’s parents, siblings, neighbors, etc This touches on a really important factor for people like me with families like mine. Their involvement in the parenting process could be nothing negative and stressful. I'd never feel comfortable leaving my kids in their care. This is not just a pessimistic fear, but a reality I see in my siblings and their own interactions with our parents. This further complicates things, because I think one could argue that people with my background need more support than average, but we're less likely to have access to that support given our origins.

runawaybottle 5y ago

Divorce rates in America indicate that many people don’t consider this. Let’s say you don’t like interacting with certain people that often, then having a kid is kind of a reckless decision. You’ll need the help of your parents, your spouse’s parents, siblings, neighbors, etc to give the kid the optimal upbringing. Some people literally go ‘well I don’t like my partner anymore, so fuck this nuclear family shit’. If you have that in you, stay clear of parenthood.

haswell 5y ago
> You’ll need the help of your parents, your spouse’s parents, siblings, neighbors, etc This touches on a really important factor for people like me with families like mine. Their involvement in the parenting process could be nothing negative and stressful. I'd never feel comfortable leaving my kids in their care. This is not just a pessimistic fear, but a reality I see in my siblings and their own interactions with our parents. This further complicates things, because I think one could argue that people with my background need more support than average, but we're less likely to have access to that support given our origins.