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I recently had a... weird... realization. It was that for most of my career I wasn't passionate about programming computers. I was passionate about becoming su

I recently had a... weird... realization. It was that for most of my career I wasn't passionate about programming computers. I was passionate about becoming successful; obtaining a highly marketable skill, making money, and gaining the respect of my peers. Programming computers was just a tool to get me there. Perhaps this is why I never got hung up on fads. Languages, frameworks, platforms, and even industries. It didn't matter to me. All that mattered was success. I should also point out that I had an extremely rigid ethical compass. It feels nice to have treated people well while doing work I was proud of. Not sure why I typed that out, but there it is.

xwdv 5y ago
I feel the same way, except I have poor ethics. I suspect that you must have had a supportive, life affirming upbringing, while I had the shit beaten out of me all the time by my peers.
- DaveExeter 5y ago
  Whatever works for you!
- eyelidlessness 5y ago
  I hate to imagine why you’re being downvoted. This is obviously a very self aware observation, from a place of trauma. I obviously wish you future ethical discretion you can be more proud of. Recognizing your own pain is part of that. I sure hope you’ve found/are finding a safer and healthier social world that brings out the better in you.
  - xwdv 5y ago
    If there is a safer and healthier social world I don’t know it. Much of what I see has only made me more cynical of society.
    - eyelidlessness 5y ago
      I can’t make it so, but you have my best wishes. This isn’t always the best place for kindness. I hope you’ll take mine as sincere.
- nbzso 5y ago
  I have horrible upbringing, almost no support and worked my self from the streets in hardcore eu country towards multiple career changes and personal transformations. I have seen some horrible things and taken part in dubious endeavours. I have been betrayed from closest friends and family. So what? Society is hard to understand, the rat race is never ending, everyone is in some form pathologically unstable and in search of validation. Ethics is ultimately a personal choice. I realized early, that I don't want to define my personality as a reflection of my childhood and upbringing. This is my way to "win in life". I have all the excuses to be horrible and abusive, manipulative or even sadistic. But I am not. And this is not easy, but in the end of the day I define myself by my own ideas and honesty and honor are things to die for. Be what you want to be. But know that you have a choice towards freedom. And freedom comes from inside.
  - heavenlyblue 5y ago
    I have a friend who I thought had it worse than me in "human" things: his family was definitely way better than mine, but mother and dad were very distant, and not the nicest people I knew. So I used to forgive him a lot of stuff because I thought that over time he would be more "humane" because his friends understand him, etc. For example, he took loans from most of my friends and used that money to sometimes repay each one of them to hide the fact that he owed so much money. He still didn't repay most of them . So in the end, I found myself at this thought: I have an alcoholic extended family on top of my dad being a drinker, loads of my own internal hate towards the society because of being poor and less fortunate (which I almost never externalised), sadness due to seeing so many people around me deserving so much better and never making it due to how poor they were; yet I never thought that doing those things my friend did would be a proud thing to do. So in the end I realised it's the choices that you make. Maybe a truly simple idea, but the choices very much define you.
nine_zeros 5y ago
Wow, I resonate with you. For me, I have always chased success. For me, success was choosing the next endeavor with a well defined goal, doing the work to achieve said goal and finally getting recognition for it from peers and managers. This caused me to be razor focused and always choose the most productive tool in my skillset to get things "done". Which means that devs who focus on nitpicks annoy me. Managers that pay attention to fads and bullshit metrics annoy me. I have a very strong moral and ethical compass. Sticking to my compass gives me energy. I feel proud of my work, my creation and take pleasure in seeing people use it. But I won't try a new fad just for resume padding
- inglor_cz 5y ago
  I must admit that two people in a row praising strength of their own ethical compasses makes me wonder. Don't you realize that this judgment is best left to the outsiders? Humans are notoriously prone to misjudging themselves. We have all kinds of biases that allow us to see ourselves other than we really are. I for one have never met a moral/ethical person who would brag about their own moral strengths like that.
  - Vinnl 5y ago
    The downside of that is that judgement by outsiders can only be based on what is visible; the only person who knows you're still sticking to those values when there's no one to see it is yourself. Additionally, of course you can echo outside judgement. I know a number of people who I'd consider particularly ethical, and they know I do.
    - mbrodersen 5y ago
      No your actions show your morals. When members of a Church molest children and protect priests that do, it speaks loud and clear about their internal morals.
      - Vinnl 5y ago
        Sure, what I'm saying is that other people don't necessarily observe your actions. If someone molests children without anyone around to see, even if others would call them moral, that judgement would still be invalid, in my view.
Taylor_OD 5y ago
What led you to this realization? I've been goals focused since high school. I've hit some of my goals and not hit other of my goals but after years of this living in that mindset I realized it wasnt that healthy. I was always looking forward to achieving some future goal and when I did/didnt hit it then I spent time kind of wondering through life until I found another meaningful goal. I still have goals but now they are not focused on specific things but rather building skills/doing things that bring me happiness. It seems to be a little more sustainable.

xwdv 5y ago

I feel the same way, except I have poor ethics. I suspect that you must have had a supportive, life affirming upbringing, while I had the shit beaten out of me all the time by my peers.

DaveExeter 5y ago
Whatever works for you!
eyelidlessness 5y ago
I hate to imagine why you’re being downvoted. This is obviously a very self aware observation, from a place of trauma. I obviously wish you future ethical discretion you can be more proud of. Recognizing your own pain is part of that. I sure hope you’ve found/are finding a safer and healthier social world that brings out the better in you.
- xwdv 5y ago
  If there is a safer and healthier social world I don’t know it. Much of what I see has only made me more cynical of society.
  - eyelidlessness 5y ago
    I can’t make it so, but you have my best wishes. This isn’t always the best place for kindness. I hope you’ll take mine as sincere.
nbzso 5y ago
I have horrible upbringing, almost no support and worked my self from the streets in hardcore eu country towards multiple career changes and personal transformations. I have seen some horrible things and taken part in dubious endeavours. I have been betrayed from closest friends and family. So what? Society is hard to understand, the rat race is never ending, everyone is in some form pathologically unstable and in search of validation. Ethics is ultimately a personal choice. I realized early, that I don't want to define my personality as a reflection of my childhood and upbringing. This is my way to "win in life". I have all the excuses to be horrible and abusive, manipulative or even sadistic. But I am not. And this is not easy, but in the end of the day I define myself by my own ideas and honesty and honor are things to die for. Be what you want to be. But know that you have a choice towards freedom. And freedom comes from inside.
- heavenlyblue 5y ago
  I have a friend who I thought had it worse than me in "human" things: his family was definitely way better than mine, but mother and dad were very distant, and not the nicest people I knew. So I used to forgive him a lot of stuff because I thought that over time he would be more "humane" because his friends understand him, etc. For example, he took loans from most of my friends and used that money to sometimes repay each one of them to hide the fact that he owed so much money. He still didn't repay most of them . So in the end, I found myself at this thought: I have an alcoholic extended family on top of my dad being a drinker, loads of my own internal hate towards the society because of being poor and less fortunate (which I almost never externalised), sadness due to seeing so many people around me deserving so much better and never making it due to how poor they were; yet I never thought that doing those things my friend did would be a proud thing to do. So in the end I realised it's the choices that you make. Maybe a truly simple idea, but the choices very much define you.

nine_zeros 5y ago

Wow, I resonate with you. For me, I have always chased success. For me, success was choosing the next endeavor with a well defined goal, doing the work to achieve said goal and finally getting recognition for it from peers and managers. This caused me to be razor focused and always choose the most productive tool in my skillset to get things "done". Which means that devs who focus on nitpicks annoy me. Managers that pay attention to fads and bullshit metrics annoy me. I have a very strong moral and ethical compass. Sticking to my compass gives me energy. I feel proud of my work, my creation and take pleasure in seeing people use it. But I won't try a new fad just for resume padding

inglor_cz 5y ago
I must admit that two people in a row praising strength of their own ethical compasses makes me wonder. Don't you realize that this judgment is best left to the outsiders? Humans are notoriously prone to misjudging themselves. We have all kinds of biases that allow us to see ourselves other than we really are. I for one have never met a moral/ethical person who would brag about their own moral strengths like that.
- Vinnl 5y ago
  The downside of that is that judgement by outsiders can only be based on what is visible; the only person who knows you're still sticking to those values when there's no one to see it is yourself. Additionally, of course you can echo outside judgement. I know a number of people who I'd consider particularly ethical, and they know I do.
  - mbrodersen 5y ago
    No your actions show your morals. When members of a Church molest children and protect priests that do, it speaks loud and clear about their internal morals.
    - Vinnl 5y ago
      Sure, what I'm saying is that other people don't necessarily observe your actions. If someone molests children without anyone around to see, even if others would call them moral, that judgement would still be invalid, in my view.

Taylor_OD 5y ago

What led you to this realization? I've been goals focused since high school. I've hit some of my goals and not hit other of my goals but after years of this living in that mindset I realized it wasnt that healthy. I was always looking forward to achieving some future goal and when I did/didnt hit it then I spent time kind of wondering through life until I found another meaningful goal. I still have goals but now they are not focused on specific things but rather building skills/doing things that bring me happiness. It seems to be a little more sustainable.