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both online/offline games can skew your internal reward/reinforcement system, but online games have a kind of social pressure that I just don't see with offline

both online/offline games can skew your internal reward/reinforcement system, but online games have a kind of social pressure that I just don't see with offline. Social circles are established around online gaming; my teenager feels like he's letting his friends down if he doesn't spend enough time with 'The Clan'. His 'membership' with the group is at risk if he doesn't contribute his time. It's made life somewhat difficult as a parent, to say the least.

Dracophoenix 5y ago
>>Social circles are established around online gaming; my teenager feels like he's letting his friends down if he doesn't spend enough time with 'The Clan'. His 'membership' with the group is at risk if he doesn't contribute his time. Social circles are established around a common interest. Most people have to have some shared interest in order to be friends. I don't know how your son would socialize if he didn't have something in common with his social milieu. If your son was born at an earlier time, he would have to contend with the demonization of skateboarding, calling your friends over the landline, D&D, rock& roll, dance halls, chess, cafes, channel surfing, and any other thing "geeks", "hooligans", "layabouts", and other so-called non-conformists enjoyed when these hobbies were deemed the social malaise of their day. I can't speak for your circumstances in particular, but this argument of the "wrong" social circles enjoying the "wrong" hobbies strikes me as the kind of pearl-clutching I thought would have died with those farcical accusations of Harry Potter promoting witchcraft and covens back in the early 2000s.
- bradford 5y ago
  There's an obvious pattern where every generation has had their activities scrutinized (and often feared) by the parent generation, and the scrutiny/fear is usually not justifiable. That said, a pattern is a pattern until it isn't, and I think it's fair to ask what criteria you'd use to evaluate the cost/benefit of some activity on a cohort of individuals that lack a fully developed frontal lobe. Some questions going through my mind as I've witnessed my children during quarantine: 1. Does the activity negatively impact the individuals ability to satisfy other obligations (academic, fiscal, personal-care, etc)? 2. Does the activity require only a shared interest, or is active participation required? if the latter, what's the time demand of the participation? 3. If the individual ceases the activity, will they maintain relationships with the individuals they participated with? 4. Can proficiency in the activity translate to other endeavors? 5. does the idea of taking a break from the activity cause anxiety or stress? I let my kids play the games because I want them to have some autonomy, but online games in particular result in greater negative answers for these questions than other activities (including offline games). Curious about your observations... do you find there's no difference between online vs. offline?

Dracophoenix 5y ago

>>Social circles are established around online gaming; my teenager feels like he's letting his friends down if he doesn't spend enough time with 'The Clan'. His 'membership' with the group is at risk if he doesn't contribute his time. Social circles are established around a common interest. Most people have to have some shared interest in order to be friends. I don't know how your son would socialize if he didn't have something in common with his social milieu. If your son was born at an earlier time, he would have to contend with the demonization of skateboarding, calling your friends over the landline, D&D, rock& roll, dance halls, chess, cafes, channel surfing, and any other thing "geeks", "hooligans", "layabouts", and other so-called non-conformists enjoyed when these hobbies were deemed the social malaise of their day. I can't speak for your circumstances in particular, but this argument of the "wrong" social circles enjoying the "wrong" hobbies strikes me as the kind of pearl-clutching I thought would have died with those farcical accusations of Harry Potter promoting witchcraft and covens back in the early 2000s.

bradford 5y ago
There's an obvious pattern where every generation has had their activities scrutinized (and often feared) by the parent generation, and the scrutiny/fear is usually not justifiable. That said, a pattern is a pattern until it isn't, and I think it's fair to ask what criteria you'd use to evaluate the cost/benefit of some activity on a cohort of individuals that lack a fully developed frontal lobe. Some questions going through my mind as I've witnessed my children during quarantine: 1. Does the activity negatively impact the individuals ability to satisfy other obligations (academic, fiscal, personal-care, etc)? 2. Does the activity require only a shared interest, or is active participation required? if the latter, what's the time demand of the participation? 3. If the individual ceases the activity, will they maintain relationships with the individuals they participated with? 4. Can proficiency in the activity translate to other endeavors? 5. does the idea of taking a break from the activity cause anxiety or stress? I let my kids play the games because I want them to have some autonomy, but online games in particular result in greater negative answers for these questions than other activities (including offline games). Curious about your observations... do you find there's no difference between online vs. offline?