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The feeling never really goes away. For me at least. I just accidentally raised $1,931 yesterday for Tensorfork Labs, a non-profit I started ... also yesterday

The feeling never really goes away. For me at least. I just accidentally raised $1,931 yesterday for Tensorfork Labs, a non-profit I started ... also yesterday. https://twitter.com/theshawwn/status/1431462744906141696 https://twitter.com/theshawwn/status/1431462744906141696 I was blown away that everyone suddenly offered so much support. We have people filling out notion docs (http://wiki.tensorfork.com/ http://wiki.tensorfork.com/) and an active Google Chat chatroom with 12 interesting people in it. And to top it all off, Nat Friedman (Github CEO) DM'ed me last night and I'll be talking to him in approximately three hours. You'd think I'd feel thrilled and like I'm extremely effective. I am thrilled, but all I feel is that I haven't done as much as I could. Talking and walking are two different things, and now that we've talked, it's time to walk the walk. But the truth is, I felt guilty sleeping most of today while everyone else has been talking excitedly. I felt that if I pushed myself a little harder, I could've been more effective, or more diligent, or lived up to my responsibilities more. But that path leads to burnout. Good work is a marathon, and things take time. (Unfortunately it sometimes seems ~impossible to internalize that, and the temptation to sprint is always there.) If you're looking for a mental hack to make the feeling go away, the only thing that helps me is to remind myself that even small deltas have value. My personal goal is to make imagenet2012 accessible to every programmer. It's a small, obscure itch that I am scratching for myself. But it's mine, and I can fix it, which is good enough. So just do what you can, where you can, and be authentic. No one can know how things will play out. Doing your best is all you can ask of yourself.

58x14 5y ago
Hey, congratulations and great job! I find there's a perpetual equilibrium between feeling confident in your output / yourself, and recognizing that much of what you do will likely be incomplete, messy, sub-optimal. This seems to be a fundamental part of being human as it extends across all types of creation. Authors have stream-of-consciousness to overcome writers' block. Athletes get the 'yips'. Developers have probably heard "if you're not ashamed of your MVP, you took too long to ship." (does anyone know who originally said this?) Doubt is a massively powerful and underrated tool that tends to signify the presence of many new variables. It's like a beacon saying "hey this is unprecedented" and the pursuit of any challenge will naturally yield unprecedented outcomes. In your context, you went from "hey let's do a thing" to "the Github CEO wants to call me and talk about this thing and there are multiple people that want to do this thing" and that is pretty damn unprecedented. I've experienced >3 truly remarkable situations like you, and wandered between inflated ego, utter confusion, guilt, and pure existentialism. Honestly, I'm glad I felt such a spectrum of emotions because in retrospect those lenses provide me a lot of clarity when I invariably encounter another entirely baffling scenario. I think your self-assessment is as balanced as it can be, and I'm certain that as you continue, you'll adjust the weights (heh) and become more comfortable... or maybe not. Maybe a hallmark of being a creator, founder, leader, is to double down on the discomfort, and rest later. Kind of like a marathon. I'm following along. Good luck. P.S. if you see this in time can you ask Nat what he thinks of the federated wiki? https://github.com/WardCunningham/Smallest-Federated-Wiki https://github.com/WardCunningham/Smallest-Federated-Wiki
- sillysaurusx 5y ago
  I emailed you to thank you for the wonderful reply. (And my regrets that I didn't see your question in time.)

58x14 5y ago

Hey, congratulations and great job! I find there's a perpetual equilibrium between feeling confident in your output / yourself, and recognizing that much of what you do will likely be incomplete, messy, sub-optimal. This seems to be a fundamental part of being human as it extends across all types of creation. Authors have stream-of-consciousness to overcome writers' block. Athletes get the 'yips'. Developers have probably heard "if you're not ashamed of your MVP, you took too long to ship." (does anyone know who originally said this?) Doubt is a massively powerful and underrated tool that tends to signify the presence of many new variables. It's like a beacon saying "hey this is unprecedented" and the pursuit of any challenge will naturally yield unprecedented outcomes. In your context, you went from "hey let's do a thing" to "the Github CEO wants to call me and talk about this thing and there are multiple people that want to do this thing" and that is pretty damn unprecedented. I've experienced >3 truly remarkable situations like you, and wandered between inflated ego, utter confusion, guilt, and pure existentialism. Honestly, I'm glad I felt such a spectrum of emotions because in retrospect those lenses provide me a lot of clarity when I invariably encounter another entirely baffling scenario. I think your self-assessment is as balanced as it can be, and I'm certain that as you continue, you'll adjust the weights (heh) and become more comfortable... or maybe not. Maybe a hallmark of being a creator, founder, leader, is to double down on the discomfort, and rest later. Kind of like a marathon. I'm following along. Good luck. P.S. if you see this in time can you ask Nat what he thinks of the federated wiki? https://github.com/WardCunningham/Smallest-Federated-Wiki https://github.com/WardCunningham/Smallest-Federated-Wiki

sillysaurusx 5y ago
I emailed you to thank you for the wonderful reply. (And my regrets that I didn't see your question in time.)