Oh, you could take months off to recover or even quit outright. You could forego the leet code BS entirely. Take a much lower paying job. I think what you mean

Oh, you could take months off to recover or even quit outright. You could forego the leet code BS entirely. Take a much lower paying job. I think what you mean is you aren't willing to deal with whatever consequences you think taking time for yourself might have. I'll tell you what if I know anything it's that you do need a different job if taking vacation, "puts you farther behind". At the very least a different state of mind. Mark Twain said, “Some of the worst things in my life never even happened.” Soak on that for a second. You aren't special or different than anyone else in most regards. Those feelings - anxiety, being trapped, burned out, disconnected... That's your brain telling you what you're doing isn't working. It feels awful. So what if you do take a lower paying job but you actually enjoy it? What if you end up taking a higher paying job and you enjoy it? What if you quit and spend your life pursuing your passions, and make it to retirement with 0 in the bank but your family loves and respects you so much they're happy to help out? Neither of us actually knows what would happen if you decided to do something for yourself, but if you truly aren't happy that's the only course of action that makes sense. Your life can only realistically get better if you try to make it better. You get one chance to live your life, then it's suddenly over. One chance. Do you really want to squander an opportunity like this because you think something worse might happen when you retire decades from now? I don't think someone with the worldview you just described will ever have enough to retire. I truly hope you do something that makes you happy tonight, even if it's something small.