9 ms·

It isn't because they are barbers. That is secondary. These are men's groups. This is men helping other men. Thanks to continued differences re hairstyles b

It isn't because they are barbers. That is secondary. These are men's groups. This is men helping other men. Thanks to continued differences re hairstyles barber shops are one of the very few all-male places left in modern society (other than locker rooms which have a distinct competitive air). So it is no surprise that many urban men feel at home and are more willing to talk at the barber than anywhere else.

namlem 5y ago
I'm not sure that's entirely true. I feel like the same dynamic is still present in mixed-gender salons.
- imbnwa 5y ago
  I can vouch that in both Black and Puerto Rican barbershops, the ones in my neighborhood and have attended for most of my life, the range of possible topics is much less confined than a unisex space. Like, to the degree that I have to question your level of experience. It's not just dude's safely talking about their problems as the article highlights, that's an aspect, its literally dudes speaking freely without female intervention, e.g. men talking sex, etc. When a mother comes in to drop off her son or waits idly with him until he's gotten his cut, or a barber's girlfriend makes a quick stop in, the topics will change. Dudes don't just keep talking about the multiple women that they're engaging simultaneously in the presence of women (I understand one may find this topic distasteful but that's how some men use that space) , particularly since in these neighborhoods there are three degrees of separation or less, if not out of simple decency. Edit: Just to inflect this even more personally, my mother even was explicit about her desire for me to be acculturated more thoroughly in common Black masculinity by dropping me off at the barber shop because I was, relative to the other men in the world I grew up in, too bookish and (what gets called) introverted (I don't really like the use of that term but that's a different discussion), i.e. relatively feminine. That didn't really work, lol, but it was one of the few times she made her thought process explicit in my presence, which is why I distinctly remember it.
ceilingcorner 5y ago
It goes against pretty much everything in the zeitgeist, but yeah, men and boys are really hurting from this lack of all-male spaces. I hope culture boomerangs around enough to permit them sometime soon.
- sandworm101 5y ago
  Shooting clubs. The really aggressive ones that meet in the woods to "train". Still predominantly all-male.
  - whatshisface 5y ago
    Yeah, that and an enormous number of other nearly all-male hobbies. Unfortunately this leaves men who aren't in to trains, electronics, shooting, cars, or other stuff with few options. Obvious disclaimer: there are plenty of women who like trains, electronics, shooting, cars and other stuff, but that doesn't change the very high chance of finding the romanticized "all-male-space" if you show to a rail fan meetup.
  - shadilay 5y ago
    For when you want to meet all the feds in your area.
    - sandworm101 5y ago
      Of course. They are members of the clubs.
- tejtm 5y ago
  and on the other hand I see clubs such as Machining, Astronomy (and to a lesser degree HAM ?) struggling not to just be a dwindling old guy club.
  - nitrogen 5y ago
    Judging from the number of views machining videos get on YouTube, I suspect at least machining will have a chance of growing big again, under the name of "making".
vmception 5y ago
Barber shops are also full of the most toxic ignorant drivel you can possibly find in the physical world. This article and the positive comments highlights a need for actual mental health advocates aimed at men.
- mbrodersen 5y ago
  Interesting. How many barber shops have you researched to reach that conclusion?
- alex_sf 5y ago
  So they can be trained to think 'correctly'?
- imbnwa 5y ago
  Eh, as a Black male, the possibility of ignorant shit tends to accord with how young the age average of the barbers is, older/elderly barbers aren't treated as peers usually and so have a modicum of authority to curtail discussions when they feel its out-of-line or inappropriate, not to mention they're usually more thoroughly religiously observant. The church use to be a space for discussion with an authority figure like that but most Black men, particularly younger ones, have evacuated the church.
  - vmception 5y ago
    This article and the positive comments highlights a need for actual mental health advocates aimed at men.
    - imbnwa 5y ago
      As someone who sees a therapist, there are issues more amenable to a public discussion with other men of your background (we're social animals after all) and there are issues that definitely should be addressed to a dispassionate professional. If the studies the article cites demonstrate literal public health improvement for Black men from attending that kind of space, there is something right being done there.
emerged 5y ago
I recently came to realize that many addiction groups are actually a social replacement for buddies who used to go out drinking / partying all the time. Since they can no longer party, a replacement group is needed and they all immediately share in common that they don’t want to drink or take drugs. Maybe this is common knowledge but it was a lightbulb moment for me when I realized it.
- kgin 5y ago
  I’ve long wished for AA type groups for people who arent necessarily struggling with addiction. We’re all struggling.
  - emerged 5y ago
    My ideal would be a group with some shared interest and shared goals who meet on a recurring basis. Typically that is merged with working in an office, so the demand for such a group is mostly satisfied. But it really leaves behind people who work from home (and people who have few coworkers and/or don’t like them).
  - dragonwriter 5y ago
    > I’ve long wished for AA type groups for people who arent necessarily struggling with addiction. There are plenty of groups based on application of religious lore (often, very similar to the lore applied by AA) to aspects of behavior besides addiction.

namlem 5y ago

I'm not sure that's entirely true. I feel like the same dynamic is still present in mixed-gender salons.

imbnwa 5y ago
I can vouch that in both Black and Puerto Rican barbershops, the ones in my neighborhood and have attended for most of my life, the range of possible topics is much less confined than a unisex space. Like, to the degree that I have to question your level of experience. It's not just dude's safely talking about their problems as the article highlights, that's an aspect, its literally dudes speaking freely without female intervention, e.g. men talking sex, etc. When a mother comes in to drop off her son or waits idly with him until he's gotten his cut, or a barber's girlfriend makes a quick stop in, the topics will change. Dudes don't just keep talking about the multiple women that they're engaging simultaneously in the presence of women (I understand one may find this topic distasteful but that's how some men use that space) , particularly since in these neighborhoods there are three degrees of separation or less, if not out of simple decency. Edit: Just to inflect this even more personally, my mother even was explicit about her desire for me to be acculturated more thoroughly in common Black masculinity by dropping me off at the barber shop because I was, relative to the other men in the world I grew up in, too bookish and (what gets called) introverted (I don't really like the use of that term but that's a different discussion), i.e. relatively feminine. That didn't really work, lol, but it was one of the few times she made her thought process explicit in my presence, which is why I distinctly remember it.

ceilingcorner 5y ago

It goes against pretty much everything in the zeitgeist, but yeah, men and boys are really hurting from this lack of all-male spaces. I hope culture boomerangs around enough to permit them sometime soon.

sandworm101 5y ago
Shooting clubs. The really aggressive ones that meet in the woods to "train". Still predominantly all-male.
- whatshisface 5y ago
  Yeah, that and an enormous number of other nearly all-male hobbies. Unfortunately this leaves men who aren't in to trains, electronics, shooting, cars, or other stuff with few options. Obvious disclaimer: there are plenty of women who like trains, electronics, shooting, cars and other stuff, but that doesn't change the very high chance of finding the romanticized "all-male-space" if you show to a rail fan meetup.
- shadilay 5y ago
  For when you want to meet all the feds in your area.
  - sandworm101 5y ago
    Of course. They are members of the clubs.
tejtm 5y ago
and on the other hand I see clubs such as Machining, Astronomy (and to a lesser degree HAM ?) struggling not to just be a dwindling old guy club.
- nitrogen 5y ago
  Judging from the number of views machining videos get on YouTube, I suspect at least machining will have a chance of growing big again, under the name of "making".

vmception 5y ago

Barber shops are also full of the most toxic ignorant drivel you can possibly find in the physical world. This article and the positive comments highlights a need for actual mental health advocates aimed at men.

mbrodersen 5y ago
Interesting. How many barber shops have you researched to reach that conclusion?
alex_sf 5y ago
So they can be trained to think 'correctly'?
imbnwa 5y ago
Eh, as a Black male, the possibility of ignorant shit tends to accord with how young the age average of the barbers is, older/elderly barbers aren't treated as peers usually and so have a modicum of authority to curtail discussions when they feel its out-of-line or inappropriate, not to mention they're usually more thoroughly religiously observant. The church use to be a space for discussion with an authority figure like that but most Black men, particularly younger ones, have evacuated the church.
- vmception 5y ago
  This article and the positive comments highlights a need for actual mental health advocates aimed at men.
  - imbnwa 5y ago
    As someone who sees a therapist, there are issues more amenable to a public discussion with other men of your background (we're social animals after all) and there are issues that definitely should be addressed to a dispassionate professional. If the studies the article cites demonstrate literal public health improvement for Black men from attending that kind of space, there is something right being done there.

emerged 5y ago

I recently came to realize that many addiction groups are actually a social replacement for buddies who used to go out drinking / partying all the time. Since they can no longer party, a replacement group is needed and they all immediately share in common that they don’t want to drink or take drugs. Maybe this is common knowledge but it was a lightbulb moment for me when I realized it.

kgin 5y ago
I’ve long wished for AA type groups for people who arent necessarily struggling with addiction. We’re all struggling.
- emerged 5y ago
  My ideal would be a group with some shared interest and shared goals who meet on a recurring basis. Typically that is merged with working in an office, so the demand for such a group is mostly satisfied. But it really leaves behind people who work from home (and people who have few coworkers and/or don’t like them).
- dragonwriter 5y ago
  > I’ve long wished for AA type groups for people who arent necessarily struggling with addiction. There are plenty of groups based on application of religious lore (often, very similar to the lore applied by AA) to aspects of behavior besides addiction.