8 ms·

I need something to reasonably explain to my wife that all these things don't work, the brand indoctrination is profound and the credit card bills hefty. Any go

• v3rt3x 5y ago
  I second this.
• goostavos 5y ago
  I think if you're coming at it from an angle where you're going to sit your wife down on the couch, show her some studies, and then wait for the "thank you for clarifying my thinking!" to roll in, you're doomed to fail / upset your SO. I think the personality types you generally find in tech, which are so focused on what we can produce / output, don't understand that consumption is a perfectly valid hobby or interest for people to have. I'd wager very few people actually buy the miracle claims on the products. I think they instead just find it fun. I gave my SO a lot of crap before realizing that some people just find stewardship of an object enjoyable. There's a whole subculture related to it. The ownership, displaying, and usage _is_ the hobby.
  • nostromo 5y ago
    I doubt the majority of people using expensive skin care creams are actually doing it just for fun and not for any actual benefit. It's more common to hear people say, "it probably isn't doing much, but you never know." This is similar to people buying lottery tickets, "I doubt I'll win, but you never know." "I just enjoy it, ok?" is probably what someone would say to get rid of a pestering husband. :)
  • Goronmon 5y ago
    I'd wager very few people actually buy the miracle claims on the products. I think they instead just find it fun. I gave my SO a lot of crap before realizing that some people just find stewardship of an object enjoyable. There's a whole subculture related to it. The ownership, displaying, and usage _is_ the hobby. An alternative is that bringing up this type of topic ends up sounding like some form of: "Hey, you know all that stuff that stresses you out everyday? Well, regarding one of the less important ones, you are doing it totally wrong and I want you to correct yourself." Even you are technically right, there is very little upside to bringing it up, especially out of nowhere. Assuming, of course, they aren't doing anything wildly dangerous.
  • satellite2 5y ago
    Additionally, most products contain water and glycerin which has evidence regarding skin hydration. So most product will produce a small effect. On top of that they smell good (rich), which is probably also an important part of the experience.
  • artichokes 5y ago
    > consumption is a perfectly valid hobby No it is not.
    • bigfudge 5y ago
      I agree with you but perhaps explain why. Taking pleasure in things we use seems healthy, but fast fashion etc and general consumer culture in the west seem psychologically suboptimal and are environmentally disastrous.
    • yibg 5y ago
      Yes it is. Doesn't add much to the discussion does it?
  • mr-wendel 5y ago
    This comment is a wonderful template to consider. In my personal context, this would be about leaving a certain very-American religion and being the more-or-less first to take plunge: you really wanna share your "greater truth" and help those close to you unburden themselves by letting go of something so obviously false. You really can't "red pill" people, and the closer they are to you the lower the chances of success. You can, however, ask (non leading) questions and listen. If you can't start by being curious, don't expect them to make that leap first... and thats really where you have to start before you can change your mind.
  • totetsu 5y ago
    More than a hobby, it's like a gender roleplaying ritual for identity construction. ( And class I guess if it's expensive. Same reason me think golf is fun)
  • mynameishere 5y ago
    More like, people want the illusion that they can make themselves more attractive. If you say the truth, "Well dear, your skin's current appearance is a combination of genetics and avoiding the sun," then you've basically said, "You can't undo the past, therefore all hope is lost. Also, you're stupid for thinking this cream can help you."
  • andreilys 5y ago
    consumption is a perfectly valid hobby or interest for people to have. Not if there are negative externalities associated with this hobby (i.e. fast fashion) which leads to ecological collapse and depletion of resources.
    • deleted 5y ago
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  • joshxyz 5y ago
    fully agree on this its a completely emotional topic too, logic flew out the window already theres a reason why marketers make huge bucks on cosmetics and diet pills.
• gumby 5y ago
  Because the science is so hard to do, the products are basically entertainment. If you think of it that way it's hard for me to get too upset -- when it's affordable. Some products are flat out dangerous though, and regulation is scant. When my MIL was dying of cancer eventually then sent her home and "prescribed" various homeopathic concoctions (German insurance covered all this). At first I was appalled but eventually realized that as there was nothing left to do for her, the homeopathic bottles of water were a form of palliative care: giving her a sense of agency. I came to realize that it was a kindness. Wearing makeup is often less critical, but given how important appearance is in culture, literature, and stereotyping, providing a sense of agency can be of enormous psychological value.
• nostromo 5y ago
  Check out Examine, they also cover skin care topics. https://examine.com/topics/wrinkles/ https://examine.com/topics/wrinkles/ https://examine.com/topics/skin-quality/ https://examine.com/topics/skin-quality/ https://examine.com/topics/skin-elasticity/ https://examine.com/topics/skin-elasticity/ ... among others. Unfortunately there's not a lot of great science out there, which is crazy given that the cosmetics industry is nearing $0.5T annually.
  • Bombthecat 5y ago
    I guess... Because the results would be devastating...
• distantaidenn 5y ago
  I guess it depends on what type of skincare they are doing. My ex (Korean), had a 7 or 8 step routine each night. This is fairly normal for young women in Korea. She explained it to me as such: it wasn't so much an anti-aging regime, as a protection from the elements regime -- in particular pollution, as South Korea has some trouble with seasonal fine dust. I suppose it makes sense. And for what its worth, her skin did have a healthy, shiny, glow after applying all the layers -- which is also part of the appeal.
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• hellbannedguy 5y ago
  I've only seen one person venture into this battlefield, and it was a comedian doing a bit. The guy is a very funny Aussie. It's Jim Jeffries. His bit went my girl comes to bed with oily skin from those pricy creams. I tell her look at my face. Not a wrinkle, and I just use soap. Anyway, when I saw a dermatologist in high school, for years it seemed? He would only recommend glycerin soap, and Certaphil if you have very dry skin. Benzoyl peroxide, erythromycin roll on lotion, and I was on erythromycin pills for bad acne. Think most pores blocked up. He detested dermatologists who sold out, and developed their own phony beauty creams. This was when some doctors had integrity--80's? And it was starting to change.
  • munchbunny 5y ago
    My experience with dermatologists has been the opposite. Over the last 2 decades, the dermatologists I've seen mostly just recommended pretty basic stuff like gentler unscented soaps, moisturizers in general, or Vaseline/Aquaphor. That's not including actual prescription drugs of course.
• ornornor 5y ago
  Look at it this way: if it really had the long lasting effects that the ads wants you to believe it has, then it would be a medicine and wouldn’t be sold OTC. Because it barely does anything at all and certainly won’t change your skin overtime, it doesn’t need FDA approval, isn’t prescription only, and isn’t a medicine. It’s all marketing that makes you think it’s medical, but they never say it. They just advertise it with white lab coats, sciency sounding weasel words, mathematical looking curves and graphs… but it’s just overpriced and over marketed cream. Your brain is tricked into connecting the dots and concluding it’s medicine but they’ll never say it outright because they can’t because it’s not.
  • nkozyra 5y ago
    > Look at it this way: if it really had the long lasting effects that the ads wants you to believe it has, then it would be a medicine and wouldn’t be sold OTC. I think this is a little simplistic. The FDA isn't inherently interested in anything effective being deemed a drug, even when it comes to oral supplementation. Plenty of non-medicine, non-FDA-regulated substances that work like medicines in some situations and do have real, repeatable effects are sold OTC. Plenty of actual medicines that are FDA-regulated are sold OTC.
  • heavyset_go 5y ago
    There are plenty of effective skin care products with active FDA approved ingredients that are also OTC. Salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide are two of them.
• heavyset_go 5y ago
  If it's not causing harm, I'd just leave it. They probably like using the products and studies aren't going to change that.
• dennis_jeeves 5y ago
  Put the product on one side of the body for days/weeks. For example if you have put the product on the left hand skin, use the symmetric right hand skin as a reference. After applying the product for several days/weeks, stop the product for a few days, before you compare the 2 patches.
• MandieD 5y ago
  Speaking as a wife who never understood the attraction of expensive beauty products but has friends who love some irrational things, you might want to let that one go, unless your spare time is dedicated to home improvement, caring for the less fortunate, and/or managing your investments, because you don’t own hardware suitable for gaming, a motorcycle or a high-performance car. And even then, you probably still want to let that one go. You likely also spend/waste money and time in ways that your wife finds less than rational. We are socialized to nag you a bit about it, but ultimately, not to take action against our men’s “harmless” wastes of money and time. Separate checking accounts are underrated. My grandfather kept one paycheck a month, out of which he paid the mortgage, and gave the other to my grandmother, who paid all the other household expenses. What happened to the rest in each of their accounts was pretty much their own business. * if her brand loyalty is to something sold by an MLM, then you do have cause for intervention - “I can get a fantastic discount by becoming a seller!” is the trap that catches a lot of women.