>The GP liked OkCupid (until it was bought by match.com and ruined), ..." I ain't your grandparent, nor did I say anything about OKC. :) You're probably refer

>The GP liked OkCupid (until it was bought by match.com and ruined), ..." I ain't your grandparent, nor did I say anything about OKC. :) You're probably referring to this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28256462 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28256462 >... so I think the GP is referring to the kind of corporate-monetising and "it's out of your hands" matching done everywhere else as the road to hell, with OkCupid's method being significantly different. Nonetheless, I'd agree with that. >Most sites don't ask, with the result that some kinds of poly people never find compatible people on those sites. Speaking from experience, this is a special kind of hell I'd wish on no one. Swipe-based apps rank your desirability by how many people swipe left/right on you, and bin accordingly. Polyamory obviously isn't as popular as monogamy, so you get a lot of left swipes regardless of whether you're generally regarded as both kind and beautiful/adorable by people in real life. You could have looks approaching model quality with a hardcore commitment to physical fitness—the charm and personality to match—and none of that would matter because as far as the algorithms are concerned, you're not attractive. So what happens is despite putting all of the effort in and then some, you rarely ever find other attractive poly people, and instead you're binned in with low-effort monogamous people that aren't even poly, and might even be homophobic to boot. Your dating experience is then beset by a mountain of self-esteem issues that shouldn't even exist in the first place, and you feel extremely alone and apart from society. Why does this happen? Because the algorithm supposedly knows better than the user, and thus the users aren't supplied with the tools to match themselves in situations where edge cases exist. This exact same scenario plays out not just with polyamory, but with queer orientations too. Bonus points if you're both. It's swipe purgatory, or at least it used to be (these days it isn't quite as bad).