6 ms·

> Like a family, eh? So let us see who from my office turns up and does my daily groceries, takes care of my kids and cleans my house if/when I am suffering fro

by Closi 5y ago

> Like a family, eh? So let us see who from my office turns up and does my daily groceries, takes care of my kids and cleans my house if/when I am suffering from a sickness - doesn't even have to be a prolonged case, a few weeks would do. It's a simile/metaphor, not a literal statement. When they say like a family they mean treating each other with kindness, friendship and compassion. They don't mean that everyone has to be around each others houses at Christmas. Everyone should try to have a heart of gold to their other coworkers (To be clear, this is a metaphor and doesn't mean that you should replace your own heart with one manufactured from gold. It would be an unsuitable material to build an artificial heart from).

nkrisc 5y ago
You just described being polite and respectful to colleagues. Being polite does not family make. It’s an empty and hollow metaphor when your colleagues are nothing actually like family. I’m polite and respectful to most strangers I meet. Just like I am to many of my colleagues, who are effectively strangers to me.
- wg0 5y ago
  I forget where, but there's an actual psychological research outcome which says - we're kinder to strangers. As for family, we're sure kind but we're frank, open, honest and unafraid of a retaliation or revenge of too. This usage of "family" metaphor is a BIG and dishonest abuse of the concept IMHO. It's work, it might be boring, tiring, has to be done with utmost perfection, precision and professionalism with professional coordination of others possibly, in a group of people. It is a thing in its own right and needs no metaphors.
- Fnoord 5y ago
  > I’m polite and respectful to most strangers I meet. Just like I am to many of my colleagues, who are effectively strangers to me. Well, I'm extremely happy to have a job where colleagues help each other out. Put less weight on a colleague who just went through something tough such as a long term break up or loss of a loved one by taking over tasks of her, letting someone who called ill take their time to get better instead of harassing them. Simple things which are common sense. Simple things you also do for your loved ones. Not every employer is like this, heck not every team(manager) is like this (teams in same company differing). There's a simple word for the opposite, a word I'm not a fan of, but it is there: toxic. Or: short-term benefits instead of long-term benefits. Or, my favorite: dumb egoism instead of smart egoism. Because, in the end, the family way is just that. A smart version of egoism, focused on long-term survival. The title of OP, seems someone who's worn down by the short-term egoism they experienced. Except, when reading the article, its not like that (it could've been). I know from myself, with my autism, I don't like certain team activities. But that does not mean I e.g. don't like (the) people. Its just that sometimes I prefer to be (left) alone. I made that very clear when I joined, and I've been open about my autism. My family knows this, too. I had to be alone for a while yesterday during a wedding. No problem.
peakaboo 5y ago
Yeah there is a word for treating eachother with friendship - "friends". Being friendly. This is already included in social skills. The company saying they want to be family is super annoying to me. It's a JOB, not a personal relationship you choose yourself. Saying it's a family implies you should feel loyalty to the company, when in fact, it's a business relationship. They are trying to blur the lines by saying family and its complete bullshit. I wouldn't even have a job if they didn't give me money for it, but I would have a family. See the crystal clear difference?
- mattowen_uk 5y ago
  > They are trying to blur the lines by saying family and its complete bullshit. Agreed. It's a psychological tactic to make their workers work harder. If your real family asked you to do a task that needed you to go out of your way to perform, you'd do it, because it's your family. Companies that try to push the 'we're like a family' angle are aiming to leverage you the same way. No company does something for nothing. If your employer offers you something unexpected, always ask yourself, what's in it for them ?
  - borski 5y ago
    Your last statement is a bit unfair, as it implies that their goals are necessarily non-altruistic. Often, what’s in it for them is increased employee happiness which leads to, yes, increased employee retention. That’s a win-win, and not evil.
    - pessimizer 5y ago
      You're the one bringing up "evil." The people you're replying to are simply saying that the company is selfish and does not love you.
      - borski 5y ago
        Perhaps evil was a bad term, but the implication was there.
ethelward 5y ago
> When they say like a family they mean treating each other with kindness, friendship and compassion We have a word for that: politeness.
tayo42 5y ago
> When they say like a family they mean treating each other with kindness, friendship and compassion. I think my family missed that memo
jrs235 5y ago
>When they say like a family they mean treating each other with kindness, friendship and compassion Not everyone's experience and understanding of family follows that idea though. Some families treat each ruthlessly and expect all members to just deal with it and remain loyal.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
rectang 5y ago
> Everyone should try to have a heart of gold to their other coworkers But the company as an entity cannot and will not. It exists in the harsh environment of capitalist competition, and must often jettison "kindness, friendship and compassion" in how its human resources are treated. Individuals within a company can strive against its nature, but only up to a point before it either resists or perishes.
- Baeocystin 5y ago
  Counterpoint: companies such as Costco or In-N-Out pay well above their respective industry averages, with excellent relative benefits, and yet are thriving.
  - pessimizer 5y ago
    That's only a counterpoint if you're suggesting that they're paying higher wages than average out of compassion, rather than because they've found it more profitable than the alternatives.
heavyset_go 5y ago
That's called being a professional. There's no need to dress it up in language about family or friends unless you're trying to manipulate someone.
loco5niner 5y ago
> When they say like a family they mean treating each other with kindness, friendship and compassion. They don't mean that everyone has to be around each others houses at Christmas. More like, 'You should be willing to put in more time at work, and put up with "our little quirks"'

by Closi 5y ago

nkrisc 5y ago

You just described being polite and respectful to colleagues. Being polite does not family make. It’s an empty and hollow metaphor when your colleagues are nothing actually like family. I’m polite and respectful to most strangers I meet. Just like I am to many of my colleagues, who are effectively strangers to me.

wg0 5y ago
I forget where, but there's an actual psychological research outcome which says - we're kinder to strangers. As for family, we're sure kind but we're frank, open, honest and unafraid of a retaliation or revenge of too. This usage of "family" metaphor is a BIG and dishonest abuse of the concept IMHO. It's work, it might be boring, tiring, has to be done with utmost perfection, precision and professionalism with professional coordination of others possibly, in a group of people. It is a thing in its own right and needs no metaphors.
Fnoord 5y ago
> I’m polite and respectful to most strangers I meet. Just like I am to many of my colleagues, who are effectively strangers to me. Well, I'm extremely happy to have a job where colleagues help each other out. Put less weight on a colleague who just went through something tough such as a long term break up or loss of a loved one by taking over tasks of her, letting someone who called ill take their time to get better instead of harassing them. Simple things which are common sense. Simple things you also do for your loved ones. Not every employer is like this, heck not every team(manager) is like this (teams in same company differing). There's a simple word for the opposite, a word I'm not a fan of, but it is there: toxic. Or: short-term benefits instead of long-term benefits. Or, my favorite: dumb egoism instead of smart egoism. Because, in the end, the family way is just that. A smart version of egoism, focused on long-term survival. The title of OP, seems someone who's worn down by the short-term egoism they experienced. Except, when reading the article, its not like that (it could've been). I know from myself, with my autism, I don't like certain team activities. But that does not mean I e.g. don't like (the) people. Its just that sometimes I prefer to be (left) alone. I made that very clear when I joined, and I've been open about my autism. My family knows this, too. I had to be alone for a while yesterday during a wedding. No problem.

peakaboo 5y ago

Yeah there is a word for treating eachother with friendship - "friends". Being friendly. This is already included in social skills. The company saying they want to be family is super annoying to me. It's a JOB, not a personal relationship you choose yourself. Saying it's a family implies you should feel loyalty to the company, when in fact, it's a business relationship. They are trying to blur the lines by saying family and its complete bullshit. I wouldn't even have a job if they didn't give me money for it, but I would have a family. See the crystal clear difference?

mattowen_uk 5y ago
> They are trying to blur the lines by saying family and its complete bullshit. Agreed. It's a psychological tactic to make their workers work harder. If your real family asked you to do a task that needed you to go out of your way to perform, you'd do it, because it's your family. Companies that try to push the 'we're like a family' angle are aiming to leverage you the same way. No company does something for nothing. If your employer offers you something unexpected, always ask yourself, what's in it for them ?
- borski 5y ago
  Your last statement is a bit unfair, as it implies that their goals are necessarily non-altruistic. Often, what’s in it for them is increased employee happiness which leads to, yes, increased employee retention. That’s a win-win, and not evil.
  - pessimizer 5y ago
    You're the one bringing up "evil." The people you're replying to are simply saying that the company is selfish and does not love you.
    - borski 5y ago
      Perhaps evil was a bad term, but the implication was there.

ethelward 5y ago

> When they say like a family they mean treating each other with kindness, friendship and compassion We have a word for that: politeness.

tayo42 5y ago

> When they say like a family they mean treating each other with kindness, friendship and compassion. I think my family missed that memo

jrs235 5y ago

>When they say like a family they mean treating each other with kindness, friendship and compassion Not everyone's experience and understanding of family follows that idea though. Some families treat each ruthlessly and expect all members to just deal with it and remain loyal.

deleted 5y ago

[deleted]

rectang 5y ago

> Everyone should try to have a heart of gold to their other coworkers But the company as an entity cannot and will not. It exists in the harsh environment of capitalist competition, and must often jettison "kindness, friendship and compassion" in how its human resources are treated. Individuals within a company can strive against its nature, but only up to a point before it either resists or perishes.

Baeocystin 5y ago
Counterpoint: companies such as Costco or In-N-Out pay well above their respective industry averages, with excellent relative benefits, and yet are thriving.
- pessimizer 5y ago
  That's only a counterpoint if you're suggesting that they're paying higher wages than average out of compassion, rather than because they've found it more profitable than the alternatives.

heavyset_go 5y ago

That's called being a professional. There's no need to dress it up in language about family or friends unless you're trying to manipulate someone.

loco5niner 5y ago

> When they say like a family they mean treating each other with kindness, friendship and compassion. They don't mean that everyone has to be around each others houses at Christmas. More like, 'You should be willing to put in more time at work, and put up with "our little quirks"'