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> “We were bored doing the housewife thing,” recalls Ely today. “I was ready to be something.” I find it interesting how it's generally acceptable for women to

> “We were bored doing the housewife thing,” recalls Ely today. “I was ready to be something.” I find it interesting how it's generally acceptable for women to insult other women who choose to devote their time to raising a family. I mean, I get her point but the quote above is demeaning as hell. Since that's not likely to end anytime soon, I suppose it'd be funny to see the insults fly in the other direction. Like, stating how "working moms" are kidding themselves that they have a full mother-child relationship. They've out-sourced a critical and singular relationship to paid employees (the nanny -- assuming their spouse also works). They don't know what's going on in their kids' lives, they don't know who in school is bullying them, they don't know which kids are getting into drugs, they only know the very surface of what their kids are dealing with. They're lying to themselves to think they can both kick ass at work and as a parent. They sacrificed precious childhood years of emotional, mental, and life guidance, in exchange for their paycheck. None of the above is cool to say. But it's definitely OK to demean in the other direction. Disclaimer: I'm a male parent, working full-time, wife quit her job when kids were born. She has never regretted the decision, and is always super busy and never "bored." And me, I know 100% there's an experience I've sadly forever missed of spending time with my kids, especially pre-WFH.

balb0a 5y ago
“We were bored doing the housewife thing,” recalls Ely today. “I was ready to be something.” Sounds like the approach Edward Bernays would take
- khazhoux 5y ago
  I don't get the reference. Is Edward Bernays well-known?
  - balb0a 5y ago
    I would say very well known in the propaganda scene. You can check this "piano" article, I think it nicely shows the idea behind: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/edward-bernays-how-america-bought-piano-ben-paton https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/edward-bernays-how-america-bo...
astura 5y ago
Working moms get those comments everyday, so I don't really get your point.
- khazhoux 5y ago
  I suppose it's that deriding stay-at-home parents is commonly and socially acceptable (in media, articles like this, etc), more so than in the other direction. I can't think of an example, e.g. in media or press, where the working mother is ridiculed. But anyway, it's a matter of perspective, I suppose, and which social bubble one inevitably inhabits.
  - astura 5y ago
    No, it's 100% NOT socially acceptable to tell a so-called "stay at home mom" that she's anything less than a hero who's the best person ever (even if she doesn't actually do very much all day). Working outside of the home is very much looked down upon as something unfortunate that one has to do. Coming out and actually admitting that you desire to go to work rather that you have to is incredibly socially unacceptable for a woman. This sort of statement might even get CPS called on you if the wrong person overhears it. This wasn't so much the case 15 years ago, we have turned into a society of child worshipers.
exolymph 5y ago
I see all of your anti-working-mom points regularly. It's a matter of your social info bubble.
- khazhoux 5y ago
  In general I agree, but I think only the one viewpoint is commonly acceptable today in media and with thought leaders. Maybe that's my bubble talking.
  - astura 5y ago
    Oh, please, the majority of Americans believe that a child suffers when both parents work outside the home https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/04/08/chapter-4-public-views-on-staying-at-home-vs-working/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/04/08/chapter... It's completely and totally socially acceptable to tell women they are basically abusing their children by choosing to go to work whereas so-called "stay at home moms" are hailed as heros. Staying home to raise children is considered "real work." If you are female you are not "allowed" to find spending all day at home young children anything but hard work that's incredibly fulfilling. People lost their god-damned minds and there was profuse apologies when a Hillary Clinton rep made the accurate statement that “Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life." You would think she was called a serial killer with how people reacted. (Not to mention the quote from the article you took offense to wasn't even actually demeaning, people state their preferences all the time. Nobody gets uppity and offended when someone says, for example, "I don't want to be chained to a desk all day," which is a common preference people state. Your offense at a non-offensive statement basically reinforces that a woman with young children isn't "allowed" to state that they desire to be away from their children to participate in the workforce - stating that preference is literally offensive.)
mixmastamyk 5y ago
Once kids are pushing middle school age, there’s not a lot to do. Add a housekeeper twice a week and there’s plenty of time for projects.

balb0a 5y ago

“We were bored doing the housewife thing,” recalls Ely today. “I was ready to be something.” Sounds like the approach Edward Bernays would take

khazhoux 5y ago
I don't get the reference. Is Edward Bernays well-known?
- balb0a 5y ago
  I would say very well known in the propaganda scene. You can check this "piano" article, I think it nicely shows the idea behind: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/edward-bernays-how-america-bought-piano-ben-paton https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/edward-bernays-how-america-bo...

astura 5y ago

Working moms get those comments everyday, so I don't really get your point.

khazhoux 5y ago
I suppose it's that deriding stay-at-home parents is commonly and socially acceptable (in media, articles like this, etc), more so than in the other direction. I can't think of an example, e.g. in media or press, where the working mother is ridiculed. But anyway, it's a matter of perspective, I suppose, and which social bubble one inevitably inhabits.
- astura 5y ago
  No, it's 100% NOT socially acceptable to tell a so-called "stay at home mom" that she's anything less than a hero who's the best person ever (even if she doesn't actually do very much all day). Working outside of the home is very much looked down upon as something unfortunate that one has to do. Coming out and actually admitting that you desire to go to work rather that you have to is incredibly socially unacceptable for a woman. This sort of statement might even get CPS called on you if the wrong person overhears it. This wasn't so much the case 15 years ago, we have turned into a society of child worshipers.

exolymph 5y ago

I see all of your anti-working-mom points regularly. It's a matter of your social info bubble.

khazhoux 5y ago
In general I agree, but I think only the one viewpoint is commonly acceptable today in media and with thought leaders. Maybe that's my bubble talking.
- astura 5y ago
  Oh, please, the majority of Americans believe that a child suffers when both parents work outside the home https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/04/08/chapter-4-public-views-on-staying-at-home-vs-working/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/04/08/chapter... It's completely and totally socially acceptable to tell women they are basically abusing their children by choosing to go to work whereas so-called "stay at home moms" are hailed as heros. Staying home to raise children is considered "real work." If you are female you are not "allowed" to find spending all day at home young children anything but hard work that's incredibly fulfilling. People lost their god-damned minds and there was profuse apologies when a Hillary Clinton rep made the accurate statement that “Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life." You would think she was called a serial killer with how people reacted. (Not to mention the quote from the article you took offense to wasn't even actually demeaning, people state their preferences all the time. Nobody gets uppity and offended when someone says, for example, "I don't want to be chained to a desk all day," which is a common preference people state. Your offense at a non-offensive statement basically reinforces that a woman with young children isn't "allowed" to state that they desire to be away from their children to participate in the workforce - stating that preference is literally offensive.)

mixmastamyk 5y ago

Once kids are pushing middle school age, there’s not a lot to do. Add a housekeeper twice a week and there’s plenty of time for projects.