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> It's now rude to just call someone on the phone without asking permission first. I really wish we could rewind the time for this one. It was so amazing to ca

> It's now rude to just call someone on the phone without asking permission first. I really wish we could rewind the time for this one. It was so amazing to call people spontaneously.

xanaxagoras 5y ago
Just start doing it, be the change and all that. I do it. Sometimes they answer, sometimes they don’t. Everyone here is overthinking it.
- bityard 5y ago
  I don't know if it's just an introvert tendency or what. I mean I get it, being so deep whatever project your working on that a phone call--even from someone you like--can seem like a burdensome interruption. But it does sometimes feel like something bigger has changed. When I was a kid, the house phone was almost _always_ in use at night and on the weekends. Various family members and friends called just to chat and catch up and BS about whatever was on the news. Birthday calls were placed and gratefully received. The teenagers in the house got in trouble for tying up the line all evening to talk with their friends even after having spent all day with them at school. Today that's all been replaced with texts and tweets and facebook likes and it makes me sad.
  - joshstrange 5y ago
    > The teenagers in the house got in trouble for tying up the line all evening to talk with their friends even after having spent all day with them at school. They still do this, it's just over FaceTime/Discord/Zoom/etc. Also I don't see the voice->text move as something really that terrible. I have a discord with my close friends and we've essentially left FB groups for this instead. We can all share stuff and consume it on our own timetables instead of having to drop everything and engage at the exact moment someone wants to share. We can always drop into voice/video/screen-share if needed, it's really ideal for me and my friends.
  - systemvoltage 5y ago
    Oh man, I am getting nostalgic about this. It was amazing to socialize without any formalities. Analog life is quite the thing. The funny thing is my dad used to complain how phones have ruined physical interaction. He used to have friends just literally show up at the house and see if he is available to hang. He thought phones ended that lifestyle and now he is glued to FB. God help us all...
chrisseaton 5y ago
But not amazing to be called spontaneously.
Causality1 5y ago
What was amazing about it? In my experience phone calls are composed of ten percent the reason you made the call, ninety percent time-wasting greetings, farewells, and pointless smalltalk.
- tarr11 5y ago
  I think OP was referring to calling someone for the sole purpose of socializing, which is often a lot of "pointless smalltalk"
  - systemvoltage 5y ago
    I still call my buddies and they call me - spontaneously - I pick up if I am available. No formality. No scheduling. Just pick up the damn phone and chat! Slack added huddles recently to cut the friction to call someone. Phone lines before cell phones used to be like that - just call! Instant voice communication. So much better than text. I feel like I am showing my age now :-)
version_five 5y ago
Now spontaneous calls have been replaced with slack messages, often with the expectation (and I'm guilty of this too) that the recipient will drop everything and reply. At least with a phone call, if they didn't answer you know they are bust. Personally, I'd prefer a call to at least 50% of slack messages - any time a back and forth is required that could be addressed in a 30 second call but instead takes a slack chat spanning 10 min where you can't really do anything else because of the distraction. I've tried to encourage people to phone me, including leaving my phone number is my slack status and asking people to consider phoning, but it wasnt really successful

> It's now rude to just call someone on the phone without asking permission first. I really wish we could rewind the time for this one. It was so amazing to call people spontaneously.

xanaxagoras 5y ago

Just start doing it, be the change and all that. I do it. Sometimes they answer, sometimes they don’t. Everyone here is overthinking it.

bityard 5y ago
I don't know if it's just an introvert tendency or what. I mean I get it, being so deep whatever project your working on that a phone call--even from someone you like--can seem like a burdensome interruption. But it does sometimes feel like something bigger has changed. When I was a kid, the house phone was almost _always_ in use at night and on the weekends. Various family members and friends called just to chat and catch up and BS about whatever was on the news. Birthday calls were placed and gratefully received. The teenagers in the house got in trouble for tying up the line all evening to talk with their friends even after having spent all day with them at school. Today that's all been replaced with texts and tweets and facebook likes and it makes me sad.
- joshstrange 5y ago
  > The teenagers in the house got in trouble for tying up the line all evening to talk with their friends even after having spent all day with them at school. They still do this, it's just over FaceTime/Discord/Zoom/etc. Also I don't see the voice->text move as something really that terrible. I have a discord with my close friends and we've essentially left FB groups for this instead. We can all share stuff and consume it on our own timetables instead of having to drop everything and engage at the exact moment someone wants to share. We can always drop into voice/video/screen-share if needed, it's really ideal for me and my friends.
- systemvoltage 5y ago
  Oh man, I am getting nostalgic about this. It was amazing to socialize without any formalities. Analog life is quite the thing. The funny thing is my dad used to complain how phones have ruined physical interaction. He used to have friends just literally show up at the house and see if he is available to hang. He thought phones ended that lifestyle and now he is glued to FB. God help us all...

chrisseaton 5y ago

But not amazing to be called spontaneously.

Causality1 5y ago

What was amazing about it? In my experience phone calls are composed of ten percent the reason you made the call, ninety percent time-wasting greetings, farewells, and pointless smalltalk.

tarr11 5y ago
I think OP was referring to calling someone for the sole purpose of socializing, which is often a lot of "pointless smalltalk"
- systemvoltage 5y ago
  I still call my buddies and they call me - spontaneously - I pick up if I am available. No formality. No scheduling. Just pick up the damn phone and chat! Slack added huddles recently to cut the friction to call someone. Phone lines before cell phones used to be like that - just call! Instant voice communication. So much better than text. I feel like I am showing my age now :-)

version_five 5y ago

Now spontaneous calls have been replaced with slack messages, often with the expectation (and I'm guilty of this too) that the recipient will drop everything and reply. At least with a phone call, if they didn't answer you know they are bust. Personally, I'd prefer a call to at least 50% of slack messages - any time a back and forth is required that could be addressed in a 30 second call but instead takes a slack chat spanning 10 min where you can't really do anything else because of the distraction. I've tried to encourage people to phone me, including leaving my phone number is my slack status and asking people to consider phoning, but it wasnt really successful