7 ms·

Slightly off topic, but I barely use my phone as a phone. I think it's dumb to call them phones, it an artifact of their origin. I could just as well not have

by juancn 5y ago

Slightly off topic, but I barely use my phone as a phone. I think it's dumb to call them phones, it an artifact of their origin. I could just as well not have any phone functionality if it has internet. At this point I even don't pick up calls from numbers that I don't recognize or weren't scheduled beforehand. It's now rude to just call someone on the phone without asking permission first. It's the equivalent of dropping unannounced at their place.

germinalphrase 5y ago
“It's the equivalent of dropping unannounced at their place” Which used to be a normal thing - at least where I live and especially if you were young. At the same time, politely telling someone you’re busy, it’s not a good time, etc was also acceptable and normal.
- andrewzah 5y ago
  Key statement there is 'used to be'. Now that phones are ubiquitous, it makes no sense to just go over someone's place or even call them, when you can just send a text that lets someone respond asynchronously. I also just have a policy of not picking up calls from unknown numbers except if they leave a voicemail or call several times. Most people that I know only use calls for time sensitive/urgent needs. Most other things, aside from chatting with family etc, are really best handled with a text. For whatever reason the culture around phones has shifted to "don't force people to drop whatever they're doing and respond to a call unless it is actually necessary".
  - city41 5y ago
    And even then I'd argue kick off the urgent communication need with a text. They can call back if they realize synchronous communication is needed for the circumstance. They are more likely to receive the text than a phone call. If they are in a meeting or whatever, they would likely let the call go to voicemail, but a text they can discretely read.
    - milkytron 5y ago
      What I do is call if it's urgent and time sensitive (SO is out shopping and I need to add something to the list). If no response and more urgent (actual emergency or needs immediate attention and is high priority), I call again. If not an emergency, I send a text with the necessary information and they can call back or respond via text. Seems to work out well and fairly straightforward, I'd imagine I'm not the only one that follows this flow.
    - jfk13 5y ago
      It depends on the other party's phone habits. We don't all carry them everywhere or check them constantly. If you call me, I'll probably hear the phone ring, and can either answer it or check for a message, whereas if you send me a text, there's a decent chance I won't even notice its existence for some hours. Better hope that "urgent communication need" isn't too urgent...
  - mrfusion 5y ago
    > Most people that I know only use calls for time sensitive/urgent needs. Most other things, aside from chatting with family etc, are really best handled with a text. For whatever reason the culture around phones has shifted to "don't force people to drop whatever they're doing and respond to a call unless it is actually necessary". Anyone feel like businesses small and large aren’t getting this? If I need a plumber or want to apply for a mortgage the first step is always a phone call. I don’t get it. I’ve tried texting local businesses but it only occasionally works.
    - el-salvador 5y ago
      In Central America most businesses have switched to WhatsApp or Facebook messenger. They still keep the normal phones though. Texting wouldn't work here though. At first it was only small businesses like the nearby cafeteria sending the lunch menu, then it was fast food deliveries, some banks. Last year some state institutions made the switch. I'm not sure about a mortgage, since that requires more paperwork. But most of a car insurance, car loan, personal loan, new internet phone line, can be done via WhatsApp. The local digital signature law still doesn't work though, so at certain point of the process, the company sends an official or someone from a private post company to get the real signatures on paper and confirm that the ID card matches the application.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
- juancn 5y ago
  Yeah, but for close friends and family only. If I'm being honest, it was mostly tolerated rather than encouraged. Once everyone had phones, you called before dropping. Now everyone has some form of async communication, so you use that instead, before calling. The issue is imposing yourself on somebody else's attention.
systemvoltage 5y ago
> It's now rude to just call someone on the phone without asking permission first. I really wish we could rewind the time for this one. It was so amazing to call people spontaneously.
- xanaxagoras 5y ago
  Just start doing it, be the change and all that. I do it. Sometimes they answer, sometimes they don’t. Everyone here is overthinking it.
  - bityard 5y ago
    I don't know if it's just an introvert tendency or what. I mean I get it, being so deep whatever project your working on that a phone call--even from someone you like--can seem like a burdensome interruption. But it does sometimes feel like something bigger has changed. When I was a kid, the house phone was almost _always_ in use at night and on the weekends. Various family members and friends called just to chat and catch up and BS about whatever was on the news. Birthday calls were placed and gratefully received. The teenagers in the house got in trouble for tying up the line all evening to talk with their friends even after having spent all day with them at school. Today that's all been replaced with texts and tweets and facebook likes and it makes me sad.
    - joshstrange 5y ago
      > The teenagers in the house got in trouble for tying up the line all evening to talk with their friends even after having spent all day with them at school. They still do this, it's just over FaceTime/Discord/Zoom/etc. Also I don't see the voice->text move as something really that terrible. I have a discord with my close friends and we've essentially left FB groups for this instead. We can all share stuff and consume it on our own timetables instead of having to drop everything and engage at the exact moment someone wants to share. We can always drop into voice/video/screen-share if needed, it's really ideal for me and my friends.
    - systemvoltage 5y ago
hn8788 5y ago
> It's the equivalent of dropping unannounced at their place. I started to feel the same way once texting and messaging became common. Having someone call you unexpectedly feels like the equivalent of someone saying "I don't care what it is that you're doing, talk to me right now." I know that's not actually what's going through people's minds, but it feels that way. It's like when someone asks you something over IM instead of over email, even though it isn't time sensitive.
- Kevin_S 5y ago
  Outside of a few select people (mostly my parents and grandparents), if someone calls me I assume it is an emergency or something very important. I actually get a surge of anxiety because of this lol.
  - joshstrange 5y ago
    In the rare case I make a call without first asking/warning someone I always follow up with a text (even if I leave a VM) saying "Everything is ok, just let me know when you are free to talk" or something similar. I absolutely love the transcription service for voicemails on iPhone because it means I can easily scan the contents of the messages of people who don't just text after a failed call.
- pkolaczk 5y ago
  If a friend calls me unexpectedly, most of the time I do care more about them than whatever I was doing, because I can just resume what I was doing a few minutes later. Most stuff can be interrupted and resumed without a problem. If this was really important and more important than the thing my friend calls to me with I politely refuse to talk and offer a callback later. Maybe we have a different culture, but calling people on a phone is normal here (Poland).
  - TeMPOraL 5y ago
    > Maybe we have a different culture, but calling people on a phone is normal here (Poland). No, it isn't. I'm also Polish and I'll be pissed at you if you call unexpectedly. Like all the other commenters said, a call is a huge interruption, completely uncalled for when there are IMs or even SMS available. Almost everyone I know in my circle understands it and doesn't call unless it's important. > most of the time I do care more about them than whatever I was doing, because I can just resume what I was doing a few minutes later. Most stuff can be interrupted and resumed without a problem. You're lucky to have that kind of work. In my case, most of what I'm doing can't be interrupted and restarted like that. And I'm already getting enough interruptions from my wife, kid, family and co-workers, who always have something urgent happening to them every day. I can't handle any more interrupts. > If this was really important and more important than the thing my friend calls to me with I politely refuse to talk and offer a callback later. I have a whole set of "quick response" SMS templates available on the incoming call screen, so I can tell you to go away in more or less polite terms, depending on who you are and how I feel.
bityard 5y ago
> It's now rude to just call someone on the phone without asking permission first. I've literally never heard of this. So much of my day-to-day work and personal communication would pretty much never happen if I had to ask for permission every time before I called someone. Is it a millennial thing? Phones (telephones, that is) and phone numbers are exactly for spontaneous voice communication. If someone doesn't want to be called out of the blue, they can choose to not give their number out to people. Or for texting say, hey, here's my number but I'm so busy that texting is usually better for me. And with today's smartphones that tell you who is calling (or at least, whether or not it's someone you know), it's _way_ easier to decide whether or not to answer a call than it was two or three decades ago where the phone just rang and that was all you got.
- JohnJamesRambo 5y ago
  I hate to tell you, but you may be one of those people we wish just texted every time we have to stop what we are doing and pick up a call. 99% of the time it could be handled better via a text or email, which allows both parties to answer when they can. It is infuriating when I have to spend 30 minutes of my day trying to phone people back and getting voice mail so that they can tell me something that was best put in a simple text.
  - thesuperbigfrog 5y ago
    >> I hate to tell you, but you may be one of those people we wish just texted every time we have to stop what we are doing and pick up a call. >> 99% of the time it could be handled better via a text or email, which allows both parties to answer when they can. I think it depends very much on your relationship with the person with whom you are communicating and the conversation itself. The "bandwidth" of communication of a voice call is much higher than a text or email because of voice inflection, voice tone, and other audible factors. For example, you might be able to immediately tell that the person you called is sick and adjust your plans or request, but a text or email would not tell you that. A voice call also allows for quick clarifications that could take several rounds of texts or emails. This means that a 30 second phone call could be faster than several rounds of texts or emails spaced over several hours. A voice call is also better for more sensitive or urgent communication. Urgent or sensitive news conveyed over text or email can feel impersonal or even uncaring. For asynchronous one-way messages, I agree that texts or emails are better since they do not interfere and allow each side to handle responses asynchronously. >> It is infuriating when I have to spend 30 minutes of my day trying to phone people back and getting voice mail so that they can tell me something that was best put in a simple text. I completely agree. I HATE voice mail and have actually turned it off. People who know me and need a voice call can call back or try reaching me by text or email.
ekianjo 5y ago
> I think it's dumb to call them phones Circa early 2000s we used to call them PDAs. I remember with fond memories my pocketPCs well before the iPhone was even a thing.
- Apocryphon 5y ago
  It's a shame that the concept is gone. I liked PalmPilots. The iPod Touch is the remaining relic of the non-phone smartphone.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
ddoolin 5y ago
People, for a while: I need to remember to reach out to all my friends and family during this terrible period! A few months later: Stop calling me! And make sure to slip a note in my mailbox before you even think about texting me! I REALLY do not like this isolationist culture we're slowly building up to, at least in the U.S. Calling someone is the equivalent of showing up unannounced? I find that notion absurd on its face. Maybe there are some parallels but it stops pretty short.
- timw4mail 5y ago
  I think the biggest backlash is against the spam calls. IF I know the number, I'll be a lot less irritated by a phone call than if I don't.
- dwaltrip 5y ago
  Yeah, while I recognize this and even do it myself, it does seem sad. We are too "busy" to talk to the people we like and care about? All interactions have to be "scheduled"? Somehow, things have gone deeply wrong.
aethertron 5y ago
> It's now rude to just call someone on the phone without asking permission first. Is it? I think that norm varies a lot with different sections of culture. If it was universally rude, then it'd be damn silly that phones are all set up to be able to receive calls unsolicited, by default. "Do not disturb" could be the default.
dasyatidprime 5y ago
I tend to term such a device a ‘handset’ for that among other reasons.
bitwize 5y ago
To us nerds/lizard people, a computer is a programmable information processing device, generally with one or more CPUs, memory, etc. It can be put to a multitude of purposes. A smartphone certainly qualifies (as does a dumbphone, actually). But normies don't work like that. To normies, a device is defined by the role it fills in your life. In this view, a computer is a device used for work: preparing documents, emails, spreadsheets, and presentations. Maybe programming or data analysis for scientific, engineering, or BI purposes. A phone is a social link: it connects you to the people you care about most. This has been true since before smartphones or even cellphones became commonplace: teenagers in the 80s craved their own landlines and their own phones, and even ordered custom phones like the ones with transparent cases, etc. So inasmuch as smartphones serve the primary social function they continue to serve, which is to connect you with your social circles and facilitate communication with them, they will continue to be marketed as phones, not computers and not anything else -- even if they completely lose PSTN connectivity.
pomian 5y ago
Except in the country. (Country side) Where cell phones hardly ever work, and usually everyone is working outside, so they don't answer a land line phone. In which case you stop by, everyone takes a break over coffee, and a good visit is had by all. Just not, every day.
Brajeshwar 5y ago
I love this and I have been practicing the art of no-phone calls for quite a while. My phone don't even 'ring' except for the selected group that I had specifically set to bypass my 24/7 DND. I created a tiny website to give out to people asking why - https://no.phone.wtf https://no.phone.wtf
ElijahLynn 5y ago
I've been working towards calling mine a "Pewter" like Com"puter" for Pocket Computer.
MisterBastahrd 5y ago
Maybe for people who are so sensitive that they actually need time in advance to emotionally prepare to have a vocal conversation with someone. For everyone else, it's normal. Know why phone calls don't need emojis? Because most of the time, it's much easier to communicate verbally. Even at work using slack... sure, we communicate with text a lot of the time, but when shit needs to get done, someone starts a call.

by juancn 5y ago

germinalphrase 5y ago

“It's the equivalent of dropping unannounced at their place” Which used to be a normal thing - at least where I live and especially if you were young. At the same time, politely telling someone you’re busy, it’s not a good time, etc was also acceptable and normal.

andrewzah 5y ago
Key statement there is 'used to be'. Now that phones are ubiquitous, it makes no sense to just go over someone's place or even call them, when you can just send a text that lets someone respond asynchronously. I also just have a policy of not picking up calls from unknown numbers except if they leave a voicemail or call several times. Most people that I know only use calls for time sensitive/urgent needs. Most other things, aside from chatting with family etc, are really best handled with a text. For whatever reason the culture around phones has shifted to "don't force people to drop whatever they're doing and respond to a call unless it is actually necessary".
- city41 5y ago
  And even then I'd argue kick off the urgent communication need with a text. They can call back if they realize synchronous communication is needed for the circumstance. They are more likely to receive the text than a phone call. If they are in a meeting or whatever, they would likely let the call go to voicemail, but a text they can discretely read.
  - milkytron 5y ago
    What I do is call if it's urgent and time sensitive (SO is out shopping and I need to add something to the list). If no response and more urgent (actual emergency or needs immediate attention and is high priority), I call again. If not an emergency, I send a text with the necessary information and they can call back or respond via text. Seems to work out well and fairly straightforward, I'd imagine I'm not the only one that follows this flow.
  - jfk13 5y ago
    It depends on the other party's phone habits. We don't all carry them everywhere or check them constantly. If you call me, I'll probably hear the phone ring, and can either answer it or check for a message, whereas if you send me a text, there's a decent chance I won't even notice its existence for some hours. Better hope that "urgent communication need" isn't too urgent...
- mrfusion 5y ago
  > Most people that I know only use calls for time sensitive/urgent needs. Most other things, aside from chatting with family etc, are really best handled with a text. For whatever reason the culture around phones has shifted to "don't force people to drop whatever they're doing and respond to a call unless it is actually necessary". Anyone feel like businesses small and large aren’t getting this? If I need a plumber or want to apply for a mortgage the first step is always a phone call. I don’t get it. I’ve tried texting local businesses but it only occasionally works.
  - el-salvador 5y ago
    In Central America most businesses have switched to WhatsApp or Facebook messenger. They still keep the normal phones though. Texting wouldn't work here though. At first it was only small businesses like the nearby cafeteria sending the lunch menu, then it was fast food deliveries, some banks. Last year some state institutions made the switch. I'm not sure about a mortgage, since that requires more paperwork. But most of a car insurance, car loan, personal loan, new internet phone line, can be done via WhatsApp. The local digital signature law still doesn't work though, so at certain point of the process, the company sends an official or someone from a private post company to get the real signatures on paper and confirm that the ID card matches the application.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
juancn 5y ago
Yeah, but for close friends and family only. If I'm being honest, it was mostly tolerated rather than encouraged. Once everyone had phones, you called before dropping. Now everyone has some form of async communication, so you use that instead, before calling. The issue is imposing yourself on somebody else's attention.

systemvoltage 5y ago

> It's now rude to just call someone on the phone without asking permission first. I really wish we could rewind the time for this one. It was so amazing to call people spontaneously.

xanaxagoras 5y ago
Just start doing it, be the change and all that. I do it. Sometimes they answer, sometimes they don’t. Everyone here is overthinking it.
- bityard 5y ago
  I don't know if it's just an introvert tendency or what. I mean I get it, being so deep whatever project your working on that a phone call--even from someone you like--can seem like a burdensome interruption. But it does sometimes feel like something bigger has changed. When I was a kid, the house phone was almost _always_ in use at night and on the weekends. Various family members and friends called just to chat and catch up and BS about whatever was on the news. Birthday calls were placed and gratefully received. The teenagers in the house got in trouble for tying up the line all evening to talk with their friends even after having spent all day with them at school. Today that's all been replaced with texts and tweets and facebook likes and it makes me sad.
  - joshstrange 5y ago
    > The teenagers in the house got in trouble for tying up the line all evening to talk with their friends even after having spent all day with them at school. They still do this, it's just over FaceTime/Discord/Zoom/etc. Also I don't see the voice->text move as something really that terrible. I have a discord with my close friends and we've essentially left FB groups for this instead. We can all share stuff and consume it on our own timetables instead of having to drop everything and engage at the exact moment someone wants to share. We can always drop into voice/video/screen-share if needed, it's really ideal for me and my friends.
  - systemvoltage 5y ago

hn8788 5y ago

> It's the equivalent of dropping unannounced at their place. I started to feel the same way once texting and messaging became common. Having someone call you unexpectedly feels like the equivalent of someone saying "I don't care what it is that you're doing, talk to me right now." I know that's not actually what's going through people's minds, but it feels that way. It's like when someone asks you something over IM instead of over email, even though it isn't time sensitive.

Kevin_S 5y ago
Outside of a few select people (mostly my parents and grandparents), if someone calls me I assume it is an emergency or something very important. I actually get a surge of anxiety because of this lol.
- joshstrange 5y ago
  In the rare case I make a call without first asking/warning someone I always follow up with a text (even if I leave a VM) saying "Everything is ok, just let me know when you are free to talk" or something similar. I absolutely love the transcription service for voicemails on iPhone because it means I can easily scan the contents of the messages of people who don't just text after a failed call.
pkolaczk 5y ago
If a friend calls me unexpectedly, most of the time I do care more about them than whatever I was doing, because I can just resume what I was doing a few minutes later. Most stuff can be interrupted and resumed without a problem. If this was really important and more important than the thing my friend calls to me with I politely refuse to talk and offer a callback later. Maybe we have a different culture, but calling people on a phone is normal here (Poland).
- TeMPOraL 5y ago
  > Maybe we have a different culture, but calling people on a phone is normal here (Poland). No, it isn't. I'm also Polish and I'll be pissed at you if you call unexpectedly. Like all the other commenters said, a call is a huge interruption, completely uncalled for when there are IMs or even SMS available. Almost everyone I know in my circle understands it and doesn't call unless it's important. > most of the time I do care more about them than whatever I was doing, because I can just resume what I was doing a few minutes later. Most stuff can be interrupted and resumed without a problem. You're lucky to have that kind of work. In my case, most of what I'm doing can't be interrupted and restarted like that. And I'm already getting enough interruptions from my wife, kid, family and co-workers, who always have something urgent happening to them every day. I can't handle any more interrupts. > If this was really important and more important than the thing my friend calls to me with I politely refuse to talk and offer a callback later. I have a whole set of "quick response" SMS templates available on the incoming call screen, so I can tell you to go away in more or less polite terms, depending on who you are and how I feel.

bityard 5y ago

> It's now rude to just call someone on the phone without asking permission first. I've literally never heard of this. So much of my day-to-day work and personal communication would pretty much never happen if I had to ask for permission every time before I called someone. Is it a millennial thing? Phones (telephones, that is) and phone numbers are exactly for spontaneous voice communication. If someone doesn't want to be called out of the blue, they can choose to not give their number out to people. Or for texting say, hey, here's my number but I'm so busy that texting is usually better for me. And with today's smartphones that tell you who is calling (or at least, whether or not it's someone you know), it's _way_ easier to decide whether or not to answer a call than it was two or three decades ago where the phone just rang and that was all you got.

JohnJamesRambo 5y ago
I hate to tell you, but you may be one of those people we wish just texted every time we have to stop what we are doing and pick up a call. 99% of the time it could be handled better via a text or email, which allows both parties to answer when they can. It is infuriating when I have to spend 30 minutes of my day trying to phone people back and getting voice mail so that they can tell me something that was best put in a simple text.
- thesuperbigfrog 5y ago
  >> I hate to tell you, but you may be one of those people we wish just texted every time we have to stop what we are doing and pick up a call. >> 99% of the time it could be handled better via a text or email, which allows both parties to answer when they can. I think it depends very much on your relationship with the person with whom you are communicating and the conversation itself. The "bandwidth" of communication of a voice call is much higher than a text or email because of voice inflection, voice tone, and other audible factors. For example, you might be able to immediately tell that the person you called is sick and adjust your plans or request, but a text or email would not tell you that. A voice call also allows for quick clarifications that could take several rounds of texts or emails. This means that a 30 second phone call could be faster than several rounds of texts or emails spaced over several hours. A voice call is also better for more sensitive or urgent communication. Urgent or sensitive news conveyed over text or email can feel impersonal or even uncaring. For asynchronous one-way messages, I agree that texts or emails are better since they do not interfere and allow each side to handle responses asynchronously. >> It is infuriating when I have to spend 30 minutes of my day trying to phone people back and getting voice mail so that they can tell me something that was best put in a simple text. I completely agree. I HATE voice mail and have actually turned it off. People who know me and need a voice call can call back or try reaching me by text or email.

ekianjo 5y ago

> I think it's dumb to call them phones Circa early 2000s we used to call them PDAs. I remember with fond memories my pocketPCs well before the iPhone was even a thing.

Apocryphon 5y ago
It's a shame that the concept is gone. I liked PalmPilots. The iPod Touch is the remaining relic of the non-phone smartphone.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]

ddoolin 5y ago

People, for a while: I need to remember to reach out to all my friends and family during this terrible period! A few months later: Stop calling me! And make sure to slip a note in my mailbox before you even think about texting me! I REALLY do not like this isolationist culture we're slowly building up to, at least in the U.S. Calling someone is the equivalent of showing up unannounced? I find that notion absurd on its face. Maybe there are some parallels but it stops pretty short.

timw4mail 5y ago
I think the biggest backlash is against the spam calls. IF I know the number, I'll be a lot less irritated by a phone call than if I don't.
dwaltrip 5y ago
Yeah, while I recognize this and even do it myself, it does seem sad. We are too "busy" to talk to the people we like and care about? All interactions have to be "scheduled"? Somehow, things have gone deeply wrong.

aethertron 5y ago

> It's now rude to just call someone on the phone without asking permission first. Is it? I think that norm varies a lot with different sections of culture. If it was universally rude, then it'd be damn silly that phones are all set up to be able to receive calls unsolicited, by default. "Do not disturb" could be the default.

dasyatidprime 5y ago

I tend to term such a device a ‘handset’ for that among other reasons.

bitwize 5y ago

To us nerds/lizard people, a computer is a programmable information processing device, generally with one or more CPUs, memory, etc. It can be put to a multitude of purposes. A smartphone certainly qualifies (as does a dumbphone, actually). But normies don't work like that. To normies, a device is defined by the role it fills in your life. In this view, a computer is a device used for work: preparing documents, emails, spreadsheets, and presentations. Maybe programming or data analysis for scientific, engineering, or BI purposes. A phone is a social link: it connects you to the people you care about most. This has been true since before smartphones or even cellphones became commonplace: teenagers in the 80s craved their own landlines and their own phones, and even ordered custom phones like the ones with transparent cases, etc. So inasmuch as smartphones serve the primary social function they continue to serve, which is to connect you with your social circles and facilitate communication with them, they will continue to be marketed as phones, not computers and not anything else -- even if they completely lose PSTN connectivity.

pomian 5y ago

Except in the country. (Country side) Where cell phones hardly ever work, and usually everyone is working outside, so they don't answer a land line phone. In which case you stop by, everyone takes a break over coffee, and a good visit is had by all. Just not, every day.

Brajeshwar 5y ago

I love this and I have been practicing the art of no-phone calls for quite a while. My phone don't even 'ring' except for the selected group that I had specifically set to bypass my 24/7 DND. I created a tiny website to give out to people asking why - https://no.phone.wtf https://no.phone.wtf

ElijahLynn 5y ago

I've been working towards calling mine a "Pewter" like Com"puter" for Pocket Computer.

MisterBastahrd 5y ago

Maybe for people who are so sensitive that they actually need time in advance to emotionally prepare to have a vocal conversation with someone. For everyone else, it's normal. Know why phone calls don't need emojis? Because most of the time, it's much easier to communicate verbally. Even at work using slack... sure, we communicate with text a lot of the time, but when shit needs to get done, someone starts a call.