I was there, and then I started to do weed. Every day was the same without any enjoyment, and I considered just throwing myself in front of a bus. I tried some

I was there, and then I started to do weed. Every day was the same without any enjoyment, and I considered just throwing myself in front of a bus. I tried some drugs from the doctor, and I lost control of my mind. It wasn't pleasant. The process for diagnosis was laughable. So, I tried weed for the first time. Now, weed wasn't a magic fix, but I did a few bong hits and I didn't feel anything at first. Then, I went to drink some water and it was as if I saw the radiant beauty of glass and light interact for the first time. There I was standing in my kitchen staring at the bottle of a glass. I was in awe. Now, I don't really need weed anymore, but I did develop a sense of awe of the wonder of reality. It's kind of amazing to think about things like why do we exist. Purpose is how we distract ourselves or amuse ourselves, but curiosity is how we can find gratitude for the positive things in life. Here we are. We are a part of the universe that can observe the universe. What the fuck are we? What is consciousness? What does it mean to be alive?!? I give a fuck, but I also don't know how to help. Most people barely know how to take care of themselves because we live in a chaotic world. We are frail beings living fragile lives in a psychotic world.