I was suicidal at 14 and most of my life has been a mental nightmare. I understand completely where you are at. What I found out from literally trying many sug

I was suicidal at 14 and most of my life has been a mental nightmare. I understand completely where you are at. What I found out from literally trying many suggestions from people on how to make my life better was that some of them worked. You have to do something because as you have stated, no one is going to do it for you. Take a leap of faith and ask everyone tou meet what they think you should do and actually fucking try it. You are going to be amazed one day if you do.