8 ms·

7 years ago I had just aborted an internship, my foray into being an employed adult, because I found myself unable to deal with disagreements. Contrary to my na

by ema 5y ago

7 years ago I had just aborted an internship, my foray into being an employed adult, because I found myself unable to deal with disagreements. Contrary to my naive hope that the confidence boost from being a Professional Software Developer(tm) would solve all my emotional problems I now knew that my limitations would follow me around anywhere I would go. But I had no idea how to change and was too stuck in my own anxiety and arrogance to ask for help. Around that time I Somehow stumbled upon this[1] article on how to make a Buddhist bone trumpet. It took me completely by surprise, the topic, the author, the tone, the context of Buddhism, nothing fit together like I expected. It was the most absurd thing I ever read and I kept laughing, at the same time it felt utterly genuine. My curiosity piqued I read the other less bizarre articles from the author about Buddhism and life in general. It dawned on me that my attempt at completely controlling my life had, in fact, caused me to lose control over it. The process of learning to accept unpredictability and open myself to the world, that started the evening I read that article, was by no means always this fun, but looking back boy was it worth it. [1] https://buddhism-for-vampires.com/kangling-chod https://buddhism-for-vampires.com/kangling-chod

yewenjie 5y ago
Also a fan of David Chapman here. Really looking forward to him finishing at least one of the books.
- tomComb 5y ago
  Yes, his writings are very interesting. I believe his two main sites are https://vividness.live/ https://vividness.live/ https://meaningness.com/ https://meaningness.com/
reidjs 5y ago
> Finding a Femur: You probably already have at least a couple of femurs around the house. However, it is usually best to find one whose original owner no longer has any use for it.
zxlk21e 5y ago
> It dawned on me that my attempt at completely controlling my life had, in fact, caused me to lose control over it. Could you possibly unpack this for me a little bit? It strikes me as absolutely true for me, too, or at least sounds like it could be true, but I'm pulling at a thread I can't quite grasp.
- buddhistdude 5y ago
  Why do you need to understand this sentence? So that you can use that new knowledge to alter the set of concepts that you have of life, ideally improving them, so that you are more able to control your life, to steer it in a better direction? Because you want to be alright? The point is to let go
  - zxlk21e 5y ago
    I'm intrigued because at first it appears to be a paradoxical statement, but with a potentially logical answer. In addition to that though, I think I (and others?) make sense of the world through narrative and there is value to other people's narratives, though that may be in conflict with the context of your comment.
    - buddhistdude 5y ago
      The idea of controlling ones life presupposes that there is “one”, that is separate from life, so that the “one” can control life. It presupposes some kind of separation in the field of experience.
    - mekoka 5y ago
      It's a Zen game he's playing with you :). The point is to let go, but letting go can also become a pursuit, in which case you're not really letting go. You're right about the paradox, you're possibility wrong about the existence of a logical answer.
- krelian 5y ago
  I recommend listening to some Alan Watts lectures on youtube (try to find a long video, the short ones are usually just bits with music added).
donatj 5y ago
> It dawned on me that my attempt at completely controlling my life had, in fact, caused me to lose control over it. I genuinely think this is the key to happiness and success in general. Roll with the waves rather than trying to fight them. You can guide your life while still smelling the roses along the way.
- mistermann 5y ago
  It would be funny if this was true at both an individual level and global level.
  - rkhassen9 5y ago
    Hmm. Following on that thought, globally, controlling our environment on a global scale seems to have resulted in a total loss of control of the environment.
certeoun 5y ago
Reminds me of stoicism. If it's outside your control, don't bother too much. Face your challenges and do the best you can, being a better you.
- codemonkey-zeta 5y ago
  Great wisdom presents itself with different faces to different people throughout time, but maintains the same essence. That's what makes it wisdom. It is eternal and unchanging, it just takes perspective to see. I had exactly the same epiphany while reading Meditations. I thought, "wow, this sounds an awful lot like the Buddhism I've read/heard about". Again, after reading Ralph Waldo Emerson I saw the same wisdom with a different face. I realized that all these people throughout time came independently to precisely the same conclusions about how to live life as part of the great "wholeness" (for lack of a better word) to which we all belong. My experience with Buddhism is mostly limited to interactions with an old Buddhist friend, but in terms of literature I found Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha and J. D. Salinger's Teddy to be very palatable from a western perspective. For stoic philosophy you can really do no better than Marcus Aurelius's meditations, specifically the more modern Gregory Hays translation. Epictectus's discourses are pretty good too, but are less pithy and have a lower signal to noise ratio when it comes to true wisdom IMO. Emerson's Self Reliance, History, and finally The Oversoul will reveal the same wisdom from all the other works I mentioned.
  - jonaustin 5y ago
    This idea is called the Perennial Philosophy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perennial_philosophy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perennial_philosophy Aldous Huxley wrote a book about it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Perennial_Philosophy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Perennial_Philosophy
    - codemonkey-zeta 5y ago
      Brilliant! Thank you for pointing this out, I was unaware of this notion. From the first link, > "In the early 19th century the Transcendentalists propagated the idea of a metaphysical Truth and universalism" So it seems it was not a coincidence Emerson stuck out to me when I first read him (Emerson was a foundational Transcendentalist).
superasn 5y ago
> It dawned on me that my attempt at completely controlling my life had, in fact, caused me to lose control over it. So many enlightened people have quoted this as the one thing that matters most than anything else. I read this article "This column will change your life"[1] about an Indian philosopher named Jiddu Krishnamurti many many years ago but this passage really stuck with me: Krishnamurti went on to give countless talks at which he frequently implied that his audience shouldn't be wasting their time listening to spiritual talks. But perhaps the most striking was a 1977 lecture in California. "Part-way through this particular talk," writes Jim Dreaver, who was present, "Krishnamurti suddenly paused, leaned forward and said, almost conspiratorially, 'Do you want to know what my secret is?' " (There are several accounts of this event; details vary.) Krishnamurti rarely spoke in such personal terms, and the audience was electrified, Dreaver recalls. "Almost as though we were one body we sat up… I could see people all around me lean forward, their ears straining and their mouths slowly opening in hushed anticipation." Then Krishnamurti, "in a soft, almost shy voice", said: "You see, I don't mind what happens." [1] https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/aug/10/stop-minding-psychology-oliver-burkeman https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/aug/10/stop-mi...
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- kcartlidge 5y ago
  In his early days Jiddu Krishnamurti was touted as the World Teacher by the Theosophists who 'discovered' and trained him. They made him the main guy of the Order of the Star. Then he stood up at a convention of about 3,000 members and disbanded the whole thing, abandoning the role they'd prepared. He said: > I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect. That is my point of view, and I adhere to that absolutely and unconditionally. Truth, being limitless, unconditioned, unapproachable by any path whatsoever, cannot be organized; nor should any organization be formed to lead or to coerce people along any particular path. I can't remember the article/blog post now but it was a commentary on that one quote, which led to further reading of his books and a certain view on life (I appreciate the irony/contradiction given the quote, and I'm not a 'follower' of his).
oliv__ 5y ago
That was quite the rabbit hole.
gremloni 5y ago
I’ve come to the conclusion that controlling your life is ineffective but influencing society’s views and expectations towards your viewpoint are the ways to go.
vangamoZX 5y ago
Thank you. I could be in the same state than you were, possibly. Now, I'm intrigued and open to read more.
skr5 5y ago
Inspiring. Thanks for sharing.

by ema 5y ago

yewenjie 5y ago

Also a fan of David Chapman here. Really looking forward to him finishing at least one of the books.

tomComb 5y ago
Yes, his writings are very interesting. I believe his two main sites are https://vividness.live/ https://vividness.live/ https://meaningness.com/ https://meaningness.com/

reidjs 5y ago

> Finding a Femur: You probably already have at least a couple of femurs around the house. However, it is usually best to find one whose original owner no longer has any use for it.

zxlk21e 5y ago

> It dawned on me that my attempt at completely controlling my life had, in fact, caused me to lose control over it. Could you possibly unpack this for me a little bit? It strikes me as absolutely true for me, too, or at least sounds like it could be true, but I'm pulling at a thread I can't quite grasp.

buddhistdude 5y ago
Why do you need to understand this sentence? So that you can use that new knowledge to alter the set of concepts that you have of life, ideally improving them, so that you are more able to control your life, to steer it in a better direction? Because you want to be alright? The point is to let go
- zxlk21e 5y ago
  I'm intrigued because at first it appears to be a paradoxical statement, but with a potentially logical answer. In addition to that though, I think I (and others?) make sense of the world through narrative and there is value to other people's narratives, though that may be in conflict with the context of your comment.
  - buddhistdude 5y ago
    The idea of controlling ones life presupposes that there is “one”, that is separate from life, so that the “one” can control life. It presupposes some kind of separation in the field of experience.
  - mekoka 5y ago
    It's a Zen game he's playing with you :). The point is to let go, but letting go can also become a pursuit, in which case you're not really letting go. You're right about the paradox, you're possibility wrong about the existence of a logical answer.
krelian 5y ago
I recommend listening to some Alan Watts lectures on youtube (try to find a long video, the short ones are usually just bits with music added).

donatj 5y ago

> It dawned on me that my attempt at completely controlling my life had, in fact, caused me to lose control over it. I genuinely think this is the key to happiness and success in general. Roll with the waves rather than trying to fight them. You can guide your life while still smelling the roses along the way.

mistermann 5y ago
It would be funny if this was true at both an individual level and global level.
- rkhassen9 5y ago
  Hmm. Following on that thought, globally, controlling our environment on a global scale seems to have resulted in a total loss of control of the environment.

certeoun 5y ago

Reminds me of stoicism. If it's outside your control, don't bother too much. Face your challenges and do the best you can, being a better you.

codemonkey-zeta 5y ago
Great wisdom presents itself with different faces to different people throughout time, but maintains the same essence. That's what makes it wisdom. It is eternal and unchanging, it just takes perspective to see. I had exactly the same epiphany while reading Meditations. I thought, "wow, this sounds an awful lot like the Buddhism I've read/heard about". Again, after reading Ralph Waldo Emerson I saw the same wisdom with a different face. I realized that all these people throughout time came independently to precisely the same conclusions about how to live life as part of the great "wholeness" (for lack of a better word) to which we all belong. My experience with Buddhism is mostly limited to interactions with an old Buddhist friend, but in terms of literature I found Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha and J. D. Salinger's Teddy to be very palatable from a western perspective. For stoic philosophy you can really do no better than Marcus Aurelius's meditations, specifically the more modern Gregory Hays translation. Epictectus's discourses are pretty good too, but are less pithy and have a lower signal to noise ratio when it comes to true wisdom IMO. Emerson's Self Reliance, History, and finally The Oversoul will reveal the same wisdom from all the other works I mentioned.
- jonaustin 5y ago
  This idea is called the Perennial Philosophy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perennial_philosophy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perennial_philosophy Aldous Huxley wrote a book about it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Perennial_Philosophy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Perennial_Philosophy
  - codemonkey-zeta 5y ago
    Brilliant! Thank you for pointing this out, I was unaware of this notion. From the first link, > "In the early 19th century the Transcendentalists propagated the idea of a metaphysical Truth and universalism" So it seems it was not a coincidence Emerson stuck out to me when I first read him (Emerson was a foundational Transcendentalist).

superasn 5y ago

> It dawned on me that my attempt at completely controlling my life had, in fact, caused me to lose control over it. So many enlightened people have quoted this as the one thing that matters most than anything else. I read this article "This column will change your life"[1] about an Indian philosopher named Jiddu Krishnamurti many many years ago but this passage really stuck with me: Krishnamurti went on to give countless talks at which he frequently implied that his audience shouldn't be wasting their time listening to spiritual talks. But perhaps the most striking was a 1977 lecture in California. "Part-way through this particular talk," writes Jim Dreaver, who was present, "Krishnamurti suddenly paused, leaned forward and said, almost conspiratorially, 'Do you want to know what my secret is?' " (There are several accounts of this event; details vary.) Krishnamurti rarely spoke in such personal terms, and the audience was electrified, Dreaver recalls. "Almost as though we were one body we sat up… I could see people all around me lean forward, their ears straining and their mouths slowly opening in hushed anticipation." Then Krishnamurti, "in a soft, almost shy voice", said: "You see, I don't mind what happens." [1] https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/aug/10/stop-minding-psychology-oliver-burkeman https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/aug/10/stop-mi...

deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
kcartlidge 5y ago
In his early days Jiddu Krishnamurti was touted as the World Teacher by the Theosophists who 'discovered' and trained him. They made him the main guy of the Order of the Star. Then he stood up at a convention of about 3,000 members and disbanded the whole thing, abandoning the role they'd prepared. He said: > I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect. That is my point of view, and I adhere to that absolutely and unconditionally. Truth, being limitless, unconditioned, unapproachable by any path whatsoever, cannot be organized; nor should any organization be formed to lead or to coerce people along any particular path. I can't remember the article/blog post now but it was a commentary on that one quote, which led to further reading of his books and a certain view on life (I appreciate the irony/contradiction given the quote, and I'm not a 'follower' of his).

oliv__ 5y ago

That was quite the rabbit hole.

gremloni 5y ago

I’ve come to the conclusion that controlling your life is ineffective but influencing society’s views and expectations towards your viewpoint are the ways to go.

vangamoZX 5y ago

Thank you. I could be in the same state than you were, possibly. Now, I'm intrigued and open to read more.

skr5 5y ago

Inspiring. Thanks for sharing.