“I would love to be able to retire and get into meditation / travelling the world / learning about things for fun.” So you are motivated by the idea of meditat

“I would love to be able to retire and get into meditation / travelling the world / learning about things for fun.” So you are motivated by the idea of meditation but not enough to save/use money you have to attain it? Genuine question. That aside - cyber security is an option for your skillset. You sound like someone who should take the plunge and go contracting 4 days per week. It’s either change job, change the terms of the job or quit. If you are that unhappy and your partner loves you, then tell them and they’ll say “ok quit the job and see if you’re happier, we’ll be fine”. If they don’t say that then there is something wrong with the relationship too. Is it the situation or the job that’s the problem?