At first thought I imagined it'd just be useless pandering to developers like "You can now do closures or first class functions" or something equally useless.

At first thought I imagined it'd just be useless pandering to developers like "You can now do closures or first class functions" or something equally useless. Congratulations, you've found your Blub. (Mine is Python; I'm still not clear on what monads would do for me in practice).