9 ms·

If Microsoft Made Cars

40 points by luke2m 5y ago

mproud 5y ago
Broken link? Was it taken down?
- meowster 5y ago
  I wonder if it was anything like the video if Microsoft designed the iPod packaging. https://youtube.com/watch?v=EUXnJraKM3k https://youtube.com/watch?v=EUXnJraKM3k
- tpmx 5y ago
  It was an old text (from the 90s?): https://web.archive.org/web/20210318102046/http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/pnw/microsoftjoke.htm https://web.archive.org/web/20210318102046/http://www.hcs.ha...
  - S_A_P 5y ago
    Yes- maybe early aughts. I remember this one going around in a chain email circa 02.
- MiddleEndian 5y ago
  Seems to load about half the time. Refresh if it fails.
- e9 5y ago
  I initially thought it’s on purpose, indicating that car would fail with 404 lol
- utf_8x 5y ago
  No, y'all just crashed it :)
perryizgr8 5y ago
> 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off." Looks like this actually came true for cars.
herendin2 5y ago
The missing punchline: "And, if those lousy, infuriating Microsoft cars cost only $25, most of us would buy them"
rossy 5y ago
> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. I've always felt that cars are already like this. I don't know much about cars, but I know that there's a wide range of conditions that can cause the "check engine" light to be lit, all of varying degrees of severity. If computers were like cars, instead of an error dialog with a googlable error code, a single "check computer" light would appear on your keyboard, and you'd need a $100 hardware debugger to find out what actually happened. God forbid your computer suffers a second error while the "check computer" light is on. You'd never know because there's only one light.
- pram 5y ago
  Yes the CEL is worthless, but OBD is very informational and a reader isn't really that expensive. A modern car ECU can tell you things like a specific cylinder misfire, so you can check that spark plug etc. If my motherboard is fucked it's probably just giving some incredibly generic error.
- FDSGSG 5y ago
  Most people aren't going to google error codes. "Power users" can get an ODB cable for ten bucks if they aren't willing to shell out for a bluetooth reader. The debug information provided by modern cars over ODB tends to be incredibly specific, but rather easy to interpret.
- AnIdiotOnTheNet 5y ago
  Any more that seems to be the direction computers are going. I recall a time when most error messages, while obtuse, actually did give you a clue as to what went wrong. Nowadays it seems that if anything goes wrong you just get a variation of ":( Software has did a whoopsie! Our bad. Please try again". Even logs, where they exist, often have nothing useful in them. It makes it much more maddening to troubleshoot everything.
TonyTrapp 5y ago
> Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. Now I wonder how much that would apply early cars. Did you have to re-learn all the controls before? I'm sure they were not standardized from the beginning. In that sense, Windows is an early car and cannot really be blamed for trying new things (most likely they are referring to the 3.x -> 95 UI revamp).
- frosted-flakes 5y ago
  Definitely. The Model T had the throttle and timing controls on the steering column and three pedals: gear selector (left), reverse (middle), and brake (right). And starting it wasn't a simple process either.
  - rrss 5y ago
    also the carburetor dial on the dash to adjust the fuel mix, and the extra gear shift lever on the left if you have a Ruckstell axle :)
midnightcity 5y ago
I'd spend even more of my life in Excel...
aitchnyu 5y ago
This is so tame, 20 years later. 11. Fuel door button is shipped with a big warning "in a future update button will be moved to a new home." that takes up more space than the button itself. 12. Restarts are forced. 13. Time is correct, but weather is from a faraway place.
reacharavindh 5y ago
Not all, but definitely some of it rings to a Tesla :-I Autopilot - A thing that is advertised to "fully drive itself", but keep your hands on the wheel and pretend you are driving and take over a fraction of a second before you crash.... Buttons? - oh we replaced it all with this one Giant screen - take a look at this glorious screen instead of focusing on the road. Tactile buttons? oh they are so old - we are the disruptors. Even better, lets just change the round steering wheel to a yoke - why? because we want to disrupt!! Your car is predictable and you know what it is doing? Let us give you over the air updates to the critical parts of the car. You better hope that we didn't change any behaviour, or that you didn't miss that change in your terms and conditions... I am big fan of all the engineering successes that Tesla brought to the table. But, they also made some non sensible choices along the way, that I'd rather not risk it....
- eth0up 5y ago
  I appreciate the criticism of the tesla, albeit a bit gentle. The Bollinger might interest you: https://bollingermotors.com/ https://bollingermotors.com/
  - marssaxman 5y ago
    I love Bollinger's design ethos, and I wish I could fantasize about someday owning one - but that $125K price tag! I'll never want to own any vehicle that badly.
    - eth0up 5y ago
      I couldn't possibly find fault in that, but find it extremely mysterious and frustrating that the desire for a quality, analog, no nonsense single-purpose system, ie vehicle, isn't adequate to drive the market toward more affordable versions of the Bollinger. I read a while back that Honda intends to eliminate touchscreens and return to tactile controls for future models, which indicates at least some interest in reasonable vehicles. I hope it's enough to retain at least one option in the future for something not designed for children.
donatj 5y ago
I think the first time I saw this was a chain email in the late 90s.
bwship 5y ago
I drive a 2004 Lexus LS 430 and I just purchased a 2008 Ford F150 XL. I also use a flip phone, and listen to music on vinyl and my 5 disc CD changer. The more I have gone into the deep end on tech from a career standpoint, the more I crave the simple things. Or at least a simpler way to live my life that doesn't involve a screen.

40 points by luke2m 5y ago

mproud 5y ago

Broken link? Was it taken down?

meowster 5y ago
I wonder if it was anything like the video if Microsoft designed the iPod packaging. https://youtube.com/watch?v=EUXnJraKM3k https://youtube.com/watch?v=EUXnJraKM3k
tpmx 5y ago
It was an old text (from the 90s?): https://web.archive.org/web/20210318102046/http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/pnw/microsoftjoke.htm https://web.archive.org/web/20210318102046/http://www.hcs.ha...
- S_A_P 5y ago
  Yes- maybe early aughts. I remember this one going around in a chain email circa 02.
MiddleEndian 5y ago
Seems to load about half the time. Refresh if it fails.
e9 5y ago
I initially thought it’s on purpose, indicating that car would fail with 404 lol
utf_8x 5y ago
No, y'all just crashed it :)

perryizgr8 5y ago

> 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off." Looks like this actually came true for cars.

herendin2 5y ago

The missing punchline: "And, if those lousy, infuriating Microsoft cars cost only $25, most of us would buy them"

rossy 5y ago

> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. I've always felt that cars are already like this. I don't know much about cars, but I know that there's a wide range of conditions that can cause the "check engine" light to be lit, all of varying degrees of severity. If computers were like cars, instead of an error dialog with a googlable error code, a single "check computer" light would appear on your keyboard, and you'd need a $100 hardware debugger to find out what actually happened. God forbid your computer suffers a second error while the "check computer" light is on. You'd never know because there's only one light.

pram 5y ago
Yes the CEL is worthless, but OBD is very informational and a reader isn't really that expensive. A modern car ECU can tell you things like a specific cylinder misfire, so you can check that spark plug etc. If my motherboard is fucked it's probably just giving some incredibly generic error.
FDSGSG 5y ago
Most people aren't going to google error codes. "Power users" can get an ODB cable for ten bucks if they aren't willing to shell out for a bluetooth reader. The debug information provided by modern cars over ODB tends to be incredibly specific, but rather easy to interpret.
AnIdiotOnTheNet 5y ago
Any more that seems to be the direction computers are going. I recall a time when most error messages, while obtuse, actually did give you a clue as to what went wrong. Nowadays it seems that if anything goes wrong you just get a variation of ":( Software has did a whoopsie! Our bad. Please try again". Even logs, where they exist, often have nothing useful in them. It makes it much more maddening to troubleshoot everything.

TonyTrapp 5y ago

> Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. Now I wonder how much that would apply early cars. Did you have to re-learn all the controls before? I'm sure they were not standardized from the beginning. In that sense, Windows is an early car and cannot really be blamed for trying new things (most likely they are referring to the 3.x -> 95 UI revamp).

frosted-flakes 5y ago
Definitely. The Model T had the throttle and timing controls on the steering column and three pedals: gear selector (left), reverse (middle), and brake (right). And starting it wasn't a simple process either.
- rrss 5y ago
  also the carburetor dial on the dash to adjust the fuel mix, and the extra gear shift lever on the left if you have a Ruckstell axle :)

midnightcity 5y ago

I'd spend even more of my life in Excel...

aitchnyu 5y ago

This is so tame, 20 years later. 11. Fuel door button is shipped with a big warning "in a future update button will be moved to a new home." that takes up more space than the button itself. 12. Restarts are forced. 13. Time is correct, but weather is from a faraway place.

reacharavindh 5y ago

Not all, but definitely some of it rings to a Tesla :-I Autopilot - A thing that is advertised to "fully drive itself", but keep your hands on the wheel and pretend you are driving and take over a fraction of a second before you crash.... Buttons? - oh we replaced it all with this one Giant screen - take a look at this glorious screen instead of focusing on the road. Tactile buttons? oh they are so old - we are the disruptors. Even better, lets just change the round steering wheel to a yoke - why? because we want to disrupt!! Your car is predictable and you know what it is doing? Let us give you over the air updates to the critical parts of the car. You better hope that we didn't change any behaviour, or that you didn't miss that change in your terms and conditions... I am big fan of all the engineering successes that Tesla brought to the table. But, they also made some non sensible choices along the way, that I'd rather not risk it....

eth0up 5y ago
I appreciate the criticism of the tesla, albeit a bit gentle. The Bollinger might interest you: https://bollingermotors.com/ https://bollingermotors.com/
- marssaxman 5y ago
  I love Bollinger's design ethos, and I wish I could fantasize about someday owning one - but that $125K price tag! I'll never want to own any vehicle that badly.
  - eth0up 5y ago
    I couldn't possibly find fault in that, but find it extremely mysterious and frustrating that the desire for a quality, analog, no nonsense single-purpose system, ie vehicle, isn't adequate to drive the market toward more affordable versions of the Bollinger. I read a while back that Honda intends to eliminate touchscreens and return to tactile controls for future models, which indicates at least some interest in reasonable vehicles. I hope it's enough to retain at least one option in the future for something not designed for children.

donatj 5y ago

I think the first time I saw this was a chain email in the late 90s.

bwship 5y ago

I drive a 2004 Lexus LS 430 and I just purchased a 2008 Ford F150 XL. I also use a flip phone, and listen to music on vinyl and my 5 disc CD changer. The more I have gone into the deep end on tech from a career standpoint, the more I crave the simple things. Or at least a simpler way to live my life that doesn't involve a screen.