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Here is an observation, make of it what you will: These are the environments I’ve been in where it has been very common for people to scream at each other, bot

Here is an observation, make of it what you will: These are the environments I’ve been in where it has been very common for people to scream at each other, both loudly and often: - banking - venture - consulting These are the environments where I have not seen this behavior: - academia - tech - an operating company I’ll tell you what makes it tolerable and normal versus abusive: if a subordinate is “allowed” to yell back.

meowface 5y ago
Maybe I'm just sheltered, but I've never worked at a company where I've been screamed at or have heard anyone screaming at anyone. (I have heard stories, but the stories circulated because everyone recognized how atypical, absurd, and unprofessional the behavior was.) Surely this is the norm, and screaming is the outlier?
- bsder 5y ago
  > Surely this is the norm, and screaming is the outlier? Screaming was seen as a "negotiating tactic" for quite a lot of the 1970's and 1980's in American "business". I suspect there was more screaming when you worked for one company for life because you had to defend your company position more jealously. Now, you leave and get a raise. I would also argue that it is more of a tactic outside of tech. Businesses that like to pride themselves on being "high-stress environments" probably have more of it. In addition, different parts of the world have different ideas as to what conflict in the "superior/subordinate" relationship looks like. Some expect extreme deference; others expect you to squawk.
zz865 5y ago
Honestly I wish there was more screaming and yelling. I'm tired of fake smiles and passive aggressive behavior. If you dont like what I'm doing please tell me. I'm up for a proper debate. One of the best places I worked at occasionally one guy would completely throw a tantrum - but then at the end of the day would have a few beers with the guy he was arguing with and make up. People just learned how he was. Ideally tantrums aren't the best way to do it, but some proper communication would be good.
- mpweiher 5y ago
  Yeah, in my (fairly long) career, the most abusive workplace environments were the ones ones with the fake smiles and passive aggressive behaviour. And I had the chronic neck pain and burnout to prove it.
- PragmaticPulp 5y ago
  There are more options than the extremes of passive aggressive or screaming at people. Plenty of people have learned the art of being professional in the workplace without yelling or holding back for the sake of being polite. It’s actually very refreshing to work at companies where management isn’t afraid to tell people they’re coming up short of expectations but can do so with tact but without yelling.

meowface 5y ago

Maybe I'm just sheltered, but I've never worked at a company where I've been screamed at or have heard anyone screaming at anyone. (I have heard stories, but the stories circulated because everyone recognized how atypical, absurd, and unprofessional the behavior was.) Surely this is the norm, and screaming is the outlier?

bsder 5y ago
> Surely this is the norm, and screaming is the outlier? Screaming was seen as a "negotiating tactic" for quite a lot of the 1970's and 1980's in American "business". I suspect there was more screaming when you worked for one company for life because you had to defend your company position more jealously. Now, you leave and get a raise. I would also argue that it is more of a tactic outside of tech. Businesses that like to pride themselves on being "high-stress environments" probably have more of it. In addition, different parts of the world have different ideas as to what conflict in the "superior/subordinate" relationship looks like. Some expect extreme deference; others expect you to squawk.

zz865 5y ago

Honestly I wish there was more screaming and yelling. I'm tired of fake smiles and passive aggressive behavior. If you dont like what I'm doing please tell me. I'm up for a proper debate. One of the best places I worked at occasionally one guy would completely throw a tantrum - but then at the end of the day would have a few beers with the guy he was arguing with and make up. People just learned how he was. Ideally tantrums aren't the best way to do it, but some proper communication would be good.

mpweiher 5y ago
Yeah, in my (fairly long) career, the most abusive workplace environments were the ones ones with the fake smiles and passive aggressive behaviour. And I had the chronic neck pain and burnout to prove it.
PragmaticPulp 5y ago
There are more options than the extremes of passive aggressive or screaming at people. Plenty of people have learned the art of being professional in the workplace without yelling or holding back for the sake of being polite. It’s actually very refreshing to work at companies where management isn’t afraid to tell people they’re coming up short of expectations but can do so with tact but without yelling.