My relationship with horror, I associate with my childhood asthma. We did not have drug coverage so I did not have inhalers so from 4 I'd be up all night (1970s

My relationship with horror, I associate with my childhood asthma. We did not have drug coverage so I did not have inhalers so from 4 I'd be up all night (1970s) watching TV. Horror movies were the only thing that distracted me, filled me with adrenaline, to unspiral my attacks. I was very allergic to cats; my stepfather's coke buddy had two Persian cats. The strangers who took me fomented in me hope for people in a way that I never would have had given my upbringing. Also, my mother was Lacanian child psych major and raised me without a Big Other etc. Told me, when I asked about church weddings on TV soap operas, what is it and she told me that it was just a silly TV thing. I believed this until I was fairly old. Cities - for example Toronto where I lived for 20 years - were hard to make friends in. At the same time, if you have always been urban, rural areas can be hard to parse socially. I really appreciate the non-judgment on horror. Thank you.